Come and tell me about your 8 year old, mine is driving me mad!

[Titsalinabumsquash]

D'S has just turned 8 and has started yr3 at school.
He is a very young 8 and does have a life limiting medical condition which means he is behind in normal social development and school work.

He is however driving me insane, he acts and behaved a lot like his 5 year old brother.
All I get is silly noises and faces in reaction to everything.
He has no sense of personal grooming (is this normal) he's happy to leave the house with dirty teeth/face and with his hair on end and clothes dirty.
He has no sense of responsibility for his stuff and every day starts with "I can't find my...." He also won't take on board thinks like looking after his PE kit and making sure its in school (I've found it this morning, meaning its not been in school all week)
I'm not sure if this is normal 8 yo behaviour or not or how to tackle it, I really feel that he needs to start maturing slightly!
He has friends at school but when playing out the front he stick to his little brother like glue and the other kids use the pair of them as almost a joke to pick on and fight :(

I know 8 is young and he has health problems but I'm worried the gap between his peers and him in terms of development is going to get so big that he'll end up struggling more.

DS is a young 8yo in yr 4 & is much like your child in behaviour (not life limited though). Loves his cuddlies. Far from the only one, that I can see; fair few in yr5 still very silly & have massive teddy collections.

DS is immature but so are many many other boys. My 4yo is almost more mature than the 8yo.

My year 3's teacher told me the other day that his behaviour in class had improved, but he could still be a little silly at times. At 7, nearly 8, I would hope he can still be a little silly at times!

Lack of personal hygine and losing possesions sounds normal to me. But I'd be a bit worried abou the other kids picking on him and his brother. Would there be some slightly younger kids nearby they could play with maybe? He'd develop better playing on a level with 5/6/ year olds than being picked on by other 8 year olds.

The only worrying thing is the other kids picking on him...if it is not happening at school, then all I can think is the local kids have got into the habit of it.

Personally I would not let mine out to play if that was happening...but would join the boys in Beavers and other after school activities.

My 8 year old DD is in year 4 and she's grubby too!

It sounds normal to me and I've a 8yo dd in year 4 who's fairly bright.

On the stuff for school, I've found it much easier if I make her check what she needs the night before. It doesn't always work. "Where's my tie?" "I told you to check that last night" "I nearly did..." But it takes a lot of the stress out of it. Occasionally I've let her take the rap at school when she's told me something is checked and hasn't too.

Not sure what to suggest about playing out front Could you invite some of his school friends round (and possibly for ds2 at the same time) so the other kids can see them playing with friends "normally"? Or would the school friends end up going off with the other kids.

Oh yes, some silly behaviour is welcome

Tbh I'm really glad that most of its normal! I used to get all my parenting advice from my own Mum but she passed away and I've been a bit stuck since then to know how we're doing!

I have said to them to only play directly out front where I can see them so I can watch for bullying and in most cases they prefer now to play football in the back garden rather than going out which is a bit sad but they do have after school clubs and quite a lot of other after school/weekend activity to do so I guess it's not the end if the world.

Thanks for the replies though, in regards to the personal hygiene thing, is it a case of just constant reminding and badgering to wash face/brush teeth/hair?
My ds2 is already quite particular about how he looks so ds1's distinct lack of it is a tough one to deal with!

Yes pre-teen boys are silly, grubby creatures IME.

Then the hormones hit, they discover girls and your life becomes a fog of Lynx.

Yes, it's just a case of constant badgering to wash, etc. My DS is 12 - and in the last year the change in personal hygene has been amazing - He now showers every day (and ASKS if he can have his shower now!) But up until around 11 he had no interest whatsover in keeping clean, nor in knowing where his belongings were. Only starting secondary did he get on top of that.

My DD is 8 and in Y4, but a late summer bday so very young in the year. She’s extremely immature and is equally silly with fart noises and faces. Having to constantly nag to use her knife and fork. We have a 5yo in reception too and they often don’t seem that different. She is on a waiting list to be tested for ASD… but then every now and then she surprises me with her maturity about something. It’s a funny in between stage. Maybe we expect too much too early?