3yo misbehaving out of character

[leomum13]

I had a phone call today from nursery about my sons behaviour. He had taken a teddy bear one of the other children was playing with and put it in the trough during water play and when one of the staff apprehended him for it he got angry and started throwing blocks so the other children had to be removed. The manager came down to the room and said he appeared to be very angry though did calm down with her. He has been a little more difficult with me lately but nothing that gives me cause for concern however the nursery manager then went on to say that he cant concentrate on anything and seems to have too much energy. Now my son will sit and read a book, watch a film and even helps me with chores at home so her comments have shocked me and i feel like she is making excuses for their inability to cope. I should also mention that he there only 3 -6 other children in his room and he is the only full-time child but I am now considering moving him. Any advice greatly appreciated x

I wouldn't concentrate too much on this being out of character and somehow the playschool's fault. "making excuses for their inability to cope" sounds quite harsh- you don't really know that yet.

Maybe he just needs to learn some new skills to cope in a situation where he is not the centre of attention but has to give way to the needs of others a bit more than he is used to at home. Maybe he is unsettled for some reason that will pass. Maybe he is entering a new, more difficult phase. Or maybe they are genuinely incompetent. Impossible to know, but atm I'd say your best bet is to work with the nursery to see what plans they come up with to manage him.

The problem with moving him too quickly is that he may still be unsettled at the new nursery- and then you'd have the same problem again.

I know it sounds harsh but i think his concentration levels at 3 are fine so her comments shocked me i dont want to move him unless its absolutely necessary but i do feel he would do better if there were more children around

This is perfectly normal for a 3 year old, however their response seems a little over reactive. They should have dealt with this as a normal part of conflict resolution. Ask them whether they show children how to resolve disputes, and whether they have given your DC some positive examples of how to interact with other children. My son has been having the same problems settling into his preschool, but the nursery has been v understanding and explaining to him how to make friends. He just started there a couple of weeks ago and is feeling a bit overwhelmed. Keep talking to the nursery, if he doesn't settle soon, do change him. Sometimes some settings are not right for children's personalities and have a few friends and I that moved our children to 'better' nurseries. My DS is so much happier and more content at his new preschool, so glad I moved him, even if he's taking a while to settle. Good luck with it...

Thanks he has been much better since but i advised the nursery they have to be firm with him and follow through. I have also made sure he is in bed earlier and is having a proper breakfast before we leave so hopefully things will return to normal. Your comments about conflict resolution are worth considering and i will raise this next week, I really do not want to move him unless it is necessary but I also want my ds happy.