DD aged 7 having severe tantrums

[cathess]

My DD who turned 7 in august has just started junior school and has had 6 severe tantrums in the last 2 weeks. She has settled into school well and has made new friends as well as keeping old friendships, however out of school when she cant have her own way she has had awful tantrums lasting 2-3 hours, she wrecks the house, runs off, hits, punches and destroys anything she can. She had these tantrums regularly when she was 3-5 then stopped. They are frightening for my 5 yr old DS and for me (separated) partner and I. I suspect its because she is going through changes of a new school and being the youngest there and playing with older children. However I really dont know how to handle them anymore and how to prevent them.

My Ds is 8 and we have the same problems, his tantrums are violent and can last quite sometime. Thankfully they have eased off and only happen once a month or so.
To deal with the immediate problem I remove everything treat like and he has to earn them back. Ds's tantrums never happen at school (thankfully) and usually if he has the space to go and calm down (usually his room or the garden) he doesn't really get too bad. When I can feel a tantrum brewing I tell him to go to his room and stay there until he is ready to be nice, which then places the responsibility for his behaviour in his hands.
If you are really worried, speak to school and then speak to your GP.
Hope this helps a little x

Dd had them until age 10- basically until she got to a size where she realised she was stronger than me.

My take was to restrain her whenever needed to protect other people and/or property. I would get behind her, hold her wrists with one hand each (so I could pull her biting mouth away if needed), back towards a chair and sit down, restraining her legs with one of mine and keeping the other leg on the ground for leverage. And all the time I would keep repeating: No, I cannot let you hurt anyone, No I will not let you hurt anyone" in a calm firm voice.

Ds never seemed frightened, probably because she went for me and not for him, and because I usually had things more or less under control.

It was harder for dh, who found it difficult to restrain her as he is physically more timid and was afraid of getting hurt. But usually she went for me- probably for that reason.

She is not at all a violent teen, indeed very sensible and respectful.