16 mo still doesnt hold on when carried

[MrsLTH]

Hi there

My 16 month old still doesnt hold on or 'grip' me when being carried. His arms and legs just hang down. Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this? He also doesnt like to be huddled or held, even at bedtime, often straining to get away. However he is affectionate on his terms, so running up and jumping on me then giving me big kisses..

Thanks!

MrsLTH, do you have any other 'niggles'?

Why do you raise this specifically as a concern? Why have you noticed it as something possibly unusual? Do you have other children who did?

To be honest I was worried that it might be a sign of autism. I have looked a the 'red flags' online and there it is only really this area that is a concern, so for example he points, follows my point, laughs, brings me books, plays peekaboo, is starting to try and say words.

My concern is around him accepting affection I guess, so he never wants to cuddle for example and as I mentioned doesnt grip when picked up.
I also flagged it to the manager at hs nursery, she has experince working with autistic childen and did an observation on him today. She said she saw some great social interactions between him and other children and adults so is very re-assured. She did note however that he didnt pick his arms up when it was nappy change time and leaned away when picked up. On balance though she feels his develpment is in normal range..

Okay. Where did you look for red flags?

It could be something, or absolutely nothing at all. Have a look at MCHAT questionnaire, and then dyspraxia symptoms/signs as well as adhd etc. Try to find online examples of toddler behaviour.

Write a list of all that you can identify, with a written example of a real life example. Then consider the list and whether you feel it is worrying you enough to merit a visit to the GP for a referral to a developmental paediatrician. If so, take the list. If not, keep the list in case your niggles every come back or increase so you have a good developmental history.

I really can't see from what you have posted that you have anything to worry about, but, the one thing that would concern me is your raising it. Mothers don't miss much!

Good luck. If you need more information about resources, links, sites etc. come over to the SN Children board as there are a full spectrum of mild to severe 'needs' some diagnosed and some not but just wanting a few ideas how to improve skills in certain areas etc.

Mine never gripped on when I was carrying them, it was like picking up a sack of potatoes, it never crossed my mind this was a problem or a sign of autism, I don't think you have to worry, especially not with the input from his nursery. I used a sling on my hip for them to sit in to make it easier for me to carry them.

They are 3 and 5 now and like to do the bear hug thing with both arms and legs wrapped round as tightly as they will go

I've known a few NT children to do this - some of them just don't seem to want to hold on!

Thanks for your message. I think I will take him to the GP or health visitor this Friday. I am a worrier by nature so I hope it is all fine but I will definately keep my eye on it
x

What does NT mean? Sorry!

Neurologically typical - ie, completely normal

My DS is picky about affectionate. Sometimes he's really into it other times he's too busy to give a toss.

Does that really suggest autism? Really?

There has to be more to it; it can't just be this one trait, surely? I mean their behavior has to encompass more concerns, no? Red flags, plural? I know lots of adults and kids who are affectionate to various degrees. None of them are on the spectrum.

Hi, how did you LO get on? Would love some feedback as I also have the same concerns with 15 month old.