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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My three year old dd cries all the time at the moment - is this normal?

31 replies

Lavelle · 02/03/2006 15:50

She cries if she doesnt get her own way, but also if you make her wait 5 minutes for something, or if you ask her to put on her coat and shoes (things she can do perfectly well). They have started to comment on it at nursery too.

Any experiences/tips? It is really wearing me out and dh is totally fed up with it.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

hunkermunker · 02/03/2006 15:51

What do you do when she cries?

Original poster

Lavelle · 02/03/2006 15:53

I used to try to ignore it. Today I have said that if she cries I won't get her a biscuit and that she must learn to wait. That had her in floods of tears! She genuinely seems upset but she can be quite a tricky madam sometimes so maybe she is just trying it on.

OP posts:

brimfull · 02/03/2006 16:02

my ds is like this at the mment.Dissolves into tears at the drop of a hat.Drives me nuts.I'm just ignoring it at the mo and hopung it passes

Original poster

Lavelle · 02/03/2006 16:07

she also wants to change her clothes All the time. has hit a really girly phase and will only wear skirts and has to change about 5 times a day.

please tell me its a phase!

OP posts:

countessdracula · 02/03/2006 16:18

Lavelle my dd is easily crushed atm too and is 3

I think it is just a phase

brimfull · 02/03/2006 16:20

3yr olds are psycho n'est pas??

Normsnockers · 02/03/2006 16:24

Ds is very nearly 3 and we have been experiencing a lot of this at the moment.

Perhaps it is a misunderstood development phase.

uwila · 02/03/2006 16:28

Mine does this too. She's not quite 3, but almost. Often her cry is a complete fake. One time I said "oh stop! It's not even real." and she just looked at me mystified that I knew. My little drama queen she is!

My nanny always says, "And the Oscar goes to...."

Original poster

Lavelle · 02/03/2006 17:53

we have just had the tea from hell when I refused to let her have a straw with her drink (she refuses to drink from a cup properly). She started off crying then it ended in a tantrum. I have been trying to get her to drink from a straw only at breakfast time. Anyway eventually I gave in, made her show me she could drink from the cup and then gave her the straw.

Feel so bad taht I cant wait for dh to get home and deal with her at the moment.

the crying upsets me and I aslo have an older dd who hates it too.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 02/03/2006 18:16

dd1, 2.8, is like this now. Am hoping it's just a phase, too.

lilybird · 02/03/2006 18:25

thank gooodness,for this thread,my dd who is next week, has turned into a whining,whinging crying monster that is driving me to distraction!
i had all evening last night & as soon as she woke up this morning she was at it again!
i just thought it was her!

Roobie · 02/03/2006 18:30

Yep, sounds very familiar. My dd is 4 at the end of April and is much better but we went through a similar phase a while back when she would act as though her whole world had collapsed at the slightest small thing and obsess over stupid (to me) things (shoes not been done up tight enough, tights not 'flat' on the bottom etc). She is still a pain when it comes to clothes - refuses to wear trousers and is obsessively pink and girly.

SpeedyMummy · 02/03/2006 18:35

Oh joy - this is such a lovely phase isn't it?
I had completely forgotten about the "Terrible Three's" until dd2 hit it in January. AM sure it is worse than the 2's as they are more devious by 3 and much better at faking it. Have discovered that time out on the bottom step helps as it means I can shut the door to drown out the noise a bit and she gets no attention and eventually (well sometimes!) calms down... Very draining though

tortoise · 02/03/2006 18:36

my dd 2.9 is the same. Dred her getting up in the morning because never know if shes going to come in happy or crying and whinging.At the moment she hates it if her cuddly toys she has in bed are not with her properly and each 1 of the 4 toys has to have the duvet on them.Drives me mad.

SpeedyMummy · 02/03/2006 18:43

Lavelle / Roobie - We have the same clothes problem although dd2 insists on dressing up clothes. She can't understand why I won't let her go out in just her Tinkerbell dress...
dd1 was horrified that she didn't put proper clothes on all day Saturday (now that she is a gron up 4.5 yr old!)

AnnieSG · 02/03/2006 18:58

Oh, yes, yes yes, I am going through this with DS, who's almost three.
Sobbing is his favourite pastime at the moment.
Apart from the rages, of course.

sickandtired · 03/03/2006 08:52

Thank god for this thread - my ds is like this constantly - its driving me mad and i was worrying that he was really unhappy!

colditz · 03/03/2006 08:56

I had this with ds, who is nearly 3, this morning.

Sobs and 'I've just been beaten badly' type wails, because I wouldn't swap breakfast with him when he didn't like the bowl.

You would think I had handed him a bowl of crushed wasps, the way he reacted. He did sit and eat it very happily in the end, but I had to ignore him for 20 minutes first!

uwila · 03/03/2006 09:02

Crushed wasps? Oh nasty. I serve them whole.

Original poster

Lavelle · 03/03/2006 09:22

this is all very reassuring! So its 'just' a phase then - better open the wine!!

OP posts:

CountessDracula · 03/03/2006 10:17

dd cried floods of tears this am because.... wait for it.... I dropped a shreddie on the table and ATE IT instead of PUTTING IT IN MY BOWL

ffs

lilybird · 03/03/2006 10:49

after an hour's tanturm last night i put dd into bed and asked whether she wanted the covers over her, said no. then she started kicking her legs and whining & grunting. i said sorry i don't understand what your saying, which made her even more angry. i said tell me what you want & i'll do it for you. she replied i can't, i can't speak! (in a high pitched whiney voice!) ffs.
to cust a long story short, she wanted the covers over her,which i'd asked her in the beginning!!!!!!!!!!!!

Enid · 03/03/2006 10:51

mine is also like this. She is a nightmare atm and I dont remember dd1 ever being like it (hmm could that be a mum's selective memory).Of course as I am pg everyone blames her clinginess, tearfulness and general diva tendencies on that . Glad to hear it is possibly a normal, if utterly wearing, phase.

Love the idea of most 3 year olds being psycho

SpeedyMummy · 03/03/2006 12:26

Can anyone remember how long this horrid "Phase" lasts though? I do remember with dd1 suddenly realising that the tantrums were down to one a day instead of one an hour but can't remember at what age. Just trying to work out how long I've got left to go

lilybird · 03/03/2006 15:49

well i've been like supernanny today. haven't given into her demands or tanturms and made her please and thank you (which for some reason had disappeared for the last few weeks!)
she's still been hard work but am hoping if i keep it up it may knock these whingey episodes into touch!

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