My baby doesn't like cuddles :S

[WifiNappies]

I thought all babies liked to be cuddled but my daughter positively hates it. She's 9mo. She will forcefully push off me when I cuddle her, it's sometimes a struggle not to lose my grip of her. I find it quite upsetting and am a little paranoid that either she has something wrong with her or there is something about me she doesn't like. When she was tiny she would only sleep in the day on me, and would spend hours like that.

When I get her from the CM she just acts not bothered to see me and doesn't want a cuddle even though I'm desperate for one. The CM probably thinks I am cruel to her at home or something - I'M NOT!!

Is it a personality thing or should I be concerned?

My DD was not a cuddly baby at all - very independent! She used to CRY when I picked her up from nursery sometimes. Some people say it's a girl thing - DS was definitely cuddly and it was lovely!

DD did get cuddly at about 2 though, and at 5.5 now she's still happy to cuddle. You will get cuddles eventually!

OK, that's reassuring thanks :) She's really independent too, hates being fed for instance and will cry about it like it's torture but then will happily feed herself the same foods. I'll try not to worry!

Your deff not alone my LO is 5 mo and will cry to be out DOWN! He will sit on my knee but doesn't cuddle much just uses me as a chair and only goes to sleep in his buggy so no sleepy cuddles :( He is only snuggly when he wakes during the night it makes me sad but it's just him.

DD is 5mo and such an independent little soul, she always has been. I used to go to baby groups when she was about 2mo and all the other mums would be cuddling their baby, while DD was lying on the floor watching the world go by! She only 'cuddles' now when she is tired and is basically just rubbing her eyes on my shoulder....

(Having said that, she spent 10 mins properly cuddling and snuggling with her grandad at the weekend, a complete first - little miss knows which people to keep on the good side of!)

My DS1 was just like this! He would however tolerate being carried in a sling as it meant he got a better view of everything, so I used one instead of a pram just to get my fix of snuggles! He liked to be held standing upright at all times or left to roll around on his own.

He has just turned 3 and now gives the best jump-in-the-air bear hugs ever, turned cuddly at about 2 iirc.

Ds2 is way more cuddly, I am snuggling him now as he drifts off to sleep I think all babies are different!

My ds is the same he is very active and will not let me lay him down in my arms at all for a cuddle he just cries until I sit him upright. He is happy to sit on my lap but only if I'm playing with him.

In some ways I think it is a good thing as he will spend ages playing independently so I get more time to get things done and hopefully means he will grow up to be an independent and confident child.

Neither my OH nor I are very cuddly people so it's not surprising really :)

Yes I suppose in a way it's a good thing.

She has very little patience to sit with me and read a story, and is also very active wanting to be off doing things. She takes after DH I think because he is always on the go whereas I am a bit more lazy sedentary

It is really common but can be upsetting. I used to run a nursery and came accross this a lot but don't worry as they all came round evetually and loved cuddles. Some took longer than others but while you shouldn't give up trying (so they know it is still on offer) don't push too hard. Try sitting on floor with hand on their lap or arm round them rather than holding them.
You will get cuddles when time is right for LO

Aw don't be upset, it could well just be a phase where she is showing her independence or just that she feels crowded at that particular moment. It doesnt mean she won't ever need cuddles. She's only 9MO so dont write her off yet as non-cuddly! When she is older she will definitely need cuddles from you for all kinds of reasons, when she has her first argument with her friend, or when she falls off her bike etc.

I have the same thing with my DS who is 15 months old, when he's upset that I've left him at the CM he pretends he doesn't want to leave or runs away from me when I come to pick him up. It's his way of showing he doesn't like to be left. Could be the same for you. The days /hours seem different to little ones, they don't understand the necessity to go to work etc... and simply get upset by the separation and they make us pay for it emotionally. That's the way I look at it anyway.

My DS was not cuddly at all as a baby. I think the only time I was able to cuddle him was when he was poorly - bittersweet.
Then as a toddler he was too hyperactive to sitstill for long and wanted his own space.
Finally, at 4 years old he has become affectionate and cuddly (although he still can't sit still for more than 5 minutes for a cuddle!).
He now gets in bed with me in the mornings and wants a 5 minute cuddle (after 5 minutes he has to get up and jump on my head - or similar). I've waited a long time for my cuddles and those 5 minutes are very precious :D

I know this comment is so long ago! I am curious as to how your child is! My daughter is 7 months old and is the exact same! She pushes my hand away if I try to soothe her in the night and hates being cuddled just wants to be on her own! If she is crying or upset i can pick her up. But if I snuggle her into me she just gets frustrated and wants to get down. I am worried these are signs of autism.

I feel the same don't worry you're not alone my baby is 5 months old and since 3ish months he has been wildly independant. Wants to put his own dummy in, hold his own bottle (try to obviously) he does a good job now to be fair. I still support the bottle but he gets annoyed at me. I've started weaning him and wants to and successfully holds his own spoon. All this I'm ok with. But he just doesn't like cuddles he pushes me off. Eye contact he loves and playing and hand holding and the odd kiss. But he's like a moody teenager like get off me mum. It upsets me too as he's my only one and the only one I may ever have and the only time I get snuggles is when hes fallen asleep at night and I put him in the crib. So I cherish those snuggles.
I was told that it's a good thing. We've sleep trained him but he pretty much went along with. It. He doesn't cry much when he wakes and gets himself back off to sleep too which is amazing. Thank god because he wouldnt be cuddled and soothed back to sleep 😭😂. Someone told me love doesn't have to nwccesarily be physical. Eye contact laughing and stuff are all good signs. Its just disheartening isn't it. Maybe we will get them at a later date when they're saying mamaaaaaa and reaching out for us when they are toddlers. 😊 Good luck xx

Just wanted to reply to offer reassurance. My first DS was identical but is now the cuddliest and most affectionate three year old

@WifiNappies Does your DC like cuddles now?

I have one of these!! She’s 12 months now and does cuddle me occasionally but must of the time just tries to escape/flings herself away from me. I also often struggle to keep a grip on her! So your not alone! She’s much better when I let her come to me for a hug, rather than interrupting whatever she was doing etc.

@Lolj88 I had exactly this, mine is 2.5 now and is still the same 🥺 she refuses to hold my hand when out. I can't even hold her hand as she goes to sleep she chooses her bunny & pushes me away. She rarely huge and kisses, she's just seems to be too busy to care about such things. I never expected it to be like this at all, I feel very unloved as her mother it's gutting. She used to let me hold and rock her to sleep then around 9mo started to push me away and wanted to self settle and as she got older her independent nature really started to show, she would not let me feed her she had to do it herself, and now she has to pick her own clothes and wants to mostly dress herself. I think it must be her independent nature. My mum was the same she wouldn't let anyone do anything for her, I struggled as a child with my mum as I'm quite the opposite I love cuddles and love and being shown how to do things but my mum being uncuddly etc I never got that, funny how it has turned out for me now with my own daughter x x

@Lolj88 I think it's a strong sign of Independence and probably a good thing but it is quite a surprise if it's not what you expected. I know she gets it from my mum. Do you have w family member that is quite strongly independent. Also found mine quickly got in to things and realised lying down wasn't for her quite soon and wanted to be sat up that happened fairly soon on. To me I just think babies like this are very strongly independent but the cuddles will come in time x x

How is he now? My 6mo is like this and it worries me

How is your baby now?

@Lolj88 how is your baby now?

How is your baby now? I have similar concerns please update

thank you

How is your baby now? I have similar concerns please update

thank you