not talking yet

[tattieboagle]

My 2 year old n is not talking yet and has started to be very violent, hitting every one, children and adults. What is the best way to discipline him. (i watch him 4 days a week)

Hi, have you had his speech/communication checked out? If he is getting very frustrated you might need to get some advice on specific techniques, because he isn't being 'naughty' so much as struggling to communicate? I have no idea if this is the case it's just your OP links the two things - not talking and hitting.

hmm. is he not talking at all?

i would imagine he is frustrated at not being able to communicate and is taking it out on other people.

i think with hitters you have to just be extra, extra vigilant and try and step in BEFORE the hitting happens as much as you can.
If he does hit then a firm "no" and removing him from the situation.

has he been referred for hearing tests/SALT?

when you say not talking, can you be more specific? how many words or sounds or gestures does he have approximately and how is he using them? frustration can be a factor definately.

get a hearing test booked and get him referred for SALT. have you spoken to GP or HV?did you have a 2 year check up? any other concerns?

your DS is probablty cery frustrated? have you tried makaton?

Agree with everyone... The behaviour is probably due to frustration. You nee to help him communicate. How does he communicate right now? Has his hearing been checked? Do you have a referral to a speech and language therapist? Does he point, drag you places or have any words/sounds?

Signing would be very helpful in this instance probably but more information would help.

Not talking at all, not a single word?

My ds would bite, hit etc between the ages of about eighteen months and three (tailing off towards three really, the odd incident then). As his vocabulary increased, the biting decreased. Now he can communicate properly he's stopped altogether.

He is my nephew, not my ds. He says a few words, point, drags you etc. Has just this week put 3 words together. It is the violence that concerns me more, he hits everyone. I have started to put him out the room when he does it, he then stands and stamps his foot. Screams a lot too. I have suggested HV/dr visit but sister doesn't seem concerned

Ah, if he can put 3 different words together meaningfully he's not behind, speechwise. My definition of few =only 2 or 3, but I have a feeling you mean much more than 3? DS said 11 words at 26 months, and none of them joined together (his speech is 90% fine now, 2 yrs later).

A bit of violence & stroppy yelling at this age is fairly common & normal (obviously carers are there to teach them better). Does he have gentle & compassionate adult guidance or is anyone handling him badly?

your original post said 'not talking yet' yet you say he is saying a 'few words' and putting 2 or 3 words together is good at just 2 and pointing/dragging is good communication too. have you tried giving him 2 choices of something to see if he understands you? the naughty step can be a good technique done properly from about this age-ish, my DS is 2 and a half and we do the naughty step if he slaps at me (rare) and it has worked for us. a minute per age, so 2 mins then they should say or indicate sorry with a hug to show they know they did wrong. whatever it is that is being done to discipline him needs to be consistent, so you need to talk to his parents and see what they are doing when this happens so you can do exactly the same when you have him. best of luck :)

he is treated with the same love and care as my 2 dc's. I would say he only says about 10 words, and never says the full word, usually just the start of it. I suppose i'm comparing to mine who were blethers from age 1. I know they are all different. I am presuming one he can communicate better the violence will stop

I don't think he would stay on the step, I use one for my 2, I have been removing from the room into the hall when he is hitting, has been out a lot today

Is he a barely 2 or an almost 3?
I don't mean to dismiss the speech concerns completely, when DC4 only had 11 words I insisted on SALT referral.
He sounds like he would get referred
Yet He may just be normal for him.
There are a million ways to discipline I personally think that gentle but firm has been most successful approach.

He doesn't need "discipline" . He's frustrated at not being able to communicate, is anyone helping him with that?

If he is 2 and putting 3 words together, is that delayed?

I think you might need to rethink the discipline, if he is frustrated, then lashes out, then gets punished he is just going to get MORE frustrated and so on.

What do you do just before he hits/whatever? You need to head it off and help him find a different way, not just put him out of the room. The thought of a very small child being outside a room a lot makes me feel a bit sad.

You need to figure out what happens immediately before and after he lashes out, keep a log and this will help you decide on a 'discipline' method that will work. If he's lashing out because he wants some space, naughty step won't work.

He has just turned 2. Floggingmolly he is talked to and encouraged to speak all day long. (singing, nursery rhymes, word repitition etc) Do you not think 2 year olds should be taught boundaries?? Naughty step works for my dc's, nephew is a bit young. Just looking to see what worked for others, who's dc's hit

tattie I am suggesting that maybe you try to intervene BEFORE the hitting. Why do you not try that?

You seem to want to punish when you could try to prevent it happening in the first place.

He is put out in the hall with the door left open, he's not being put in solitary confinement I do not think smacking children or adult in the face is acceptable behavior, and he needs to know that it is wrong. He seems to be hitting for no reason

He won't be hitting for no reason, that's just a silly thing to say.

No-one says it acceptable behaviour but you are totally ignoring the fact that you could do something to help him BEFORE he hits or at least try to work out WHY he hits before wanting to find out how to punish him.

A lot of children go through the hitting stage. Mine did, no obvious reason for it, they are often just learning social behaviours.

I would try making sure you are always within arms reach and each time you see him going to hit take his arm or hand in yours, lower it and say "we don't hit" in a firm voice.

Like I said discipline only works if it reduces the bad behaviour, pay more attention to why he is doing it, take a log. Children at that age are not naughty for the sake of it, they are trying to communicate and get their needs met.

You need to stay close, to parry blows with your forearm, block with your body, lots of praise, positive reinforcement

A just two yr old is impulsive and egocentric

Do you like him ?