Shocked about what ds's friend aged 6 can't do ...

[Easy]

Today We took ds's friend (well his girlfriend, according to him) for an outing, our first time with this friend. Now I know my ds is advanced for 6 (everyone tells me so), but I was shocked to find that she
a) is unable to fasten a car seatbelt herself (her mum put her in my car as we went, she couldn't fasten it herself for the return journey)
b) Doesn't know when her birthday is, beyond being able to say "It's a long time to my birthday"
c ) can't identify the months of the year, and doesn't know it is February now.

Also can't understand why I corrected the phrase " I don't want no chips", altho' I recognise this may be acceptable language at her house.

My son has fastened his own seatbelt since just after his 5th birthday, has a complete grasp of the calendar, and has been able to tell people his birthday date since 3 y.o.

He can now tell the time (altho' won't admit it, he's too sly).

Are my expectations too high and the girlfriend is average for 6, or is his friend "a bit behind"

I'm genuinely curious about this one

I have to say that I do feel a bit sorry for Easy as , if you have a read of her previous posts you will find that she was concerned some time ago that her DS was borderline AS as he was socially immature despite being bright and having no problems academically. I think in such circumstances its acceptable to boast about your childs achievements if you are also going to discuss areas where they have problems. I imagine its a sort of defence mechanism also . ie to reassure yourself that yes, although he struggles in some areas he is ahead in others. Parents who have children that struggle in one or more areas find it far more difficult not to compare than parents whose children are on a more even developmental path.

Very true MaggieM, I do that to my kids all the time (DS1 AS, DS2 hearing problems, DS3 speech delay).

Message withdrawn

I take Tigermoth's viewpoint on this one. Easy is thinking in her head, that's what m/net is for. I compare my child to other children all the time, its normal. No, I don't do it in RL to other mothers but this isn't RL.

Hope you don't stay away Easy.

Sorry, but this is really stupid! Easy has not got a bashing that I can see. No-one has called her or been rude to her. Mumsnet is now getting to that stage where I dare not oppose anyone in case I offend and that person either leaves or makes a big scene about it. I thought this was all about sharing ideas, opinions and views even if they were opposing. It's about having the freedom to say so if something makes you angry or happy. Now, someone will start a thread or post a picture about their baby and another piss-take thread will appear slating them for it. There are flounces all over the place and personal insults flying around too.

What I loved about Mumsnet was the diversity of the threads and vehmently disagreeing with one member one week, and then backing them up on something else the next week. It was light-hearted and no-one took themselves very seriously. There were big bust-ups (me and Toothache have had loads) but those involved usually ended up grinning at each other on another thread. I didn't feel that I had to tone down or tread carefully at all, and coming from my background that was brilliant!

Now I disagree with someone and they leave. What is that all about?

Rhubarb - I totally agree with everything you have said.

what about:

"This kind of thing really makes me bloody annoyed and angry...Why not just put a badge on your child saying "GENIUS CHILD, PROUD PARENTS" Whoop de doo if your kid is clever, I'm really pleased for you, but to compare your child to other kids at the expense of that other child, well ffs!", "I'd be bloody livid! ...saying that yours is cleverer than anothers always pisses me off."

If that's not a bashing, I dread to think what is.

Looks like a strongly expressed opinion to me. Most people on MN have to weather disagreement of that strength from time to time. It's not offensive, or a reason to leave, as far as I can see. And Rhubarb has gone to considerable lengths to be conciliatory too.

I agree, Greensleeves, it's a strongly expressed opinion, not a bash. One of the things I LOVE about MNet is that I can come here and people just tell it like it is, how they see it, none of this 'Oh, I don't like that, Rhubarb's being mean to me, I'm telling Teacher/Moderator!'

I mean, this is the net, a bunch of total strangers, ffs.

The day I can't say what I think when someone invites me to do so by blurting it out on the friggin' world wide web for every single user in the world to look it is the day I flounce.

Unfortunately expat this is the conclusion I have to as well.

Don't you dare, Rhubarb!

omg! if you all flounce, there'll be no-one left except me and my niceness.

How....nice