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Original poster

Shocked about what ds's friend aged 6 can't do ...

188 replies

Easy · 24/02/2006 17:51

Today We took ds's friend (well his girlfriend, according to him) for an outing, our first time with this friend. Now I know my ds is advanced for 6 (everyone tells me so), but I was shocked to find that she
a) is unable to fasten a car seatbelt herself (her mum put her in my car as we went, she couldn't fasten it herself for the return journey)
b) Doesn't know when her birthday is, beyond being able to say "It's a long time to my birthday"
c ) can't identify the months of the year, and doesn't know it is February now.

Also can't understand why I corrected the phrase " I don't want no chips", altho' I recognise this may be acceptable language at her house.

My son has fastened his own seatbelt since just after his 5th birthday, has a complete grasp of the calendar, and has been able to tell people his birthday date since 3 y.o.

He can now tell the time (altho' won't admit it, he's too sly).

Are my expectations too high and the girlfriend is average for 6, or is his friend "a bit behind"

I'm genuinely curious about this one

OP posts:
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Elibean · 25/02/2006 20:47

Saggy, phew, not alone at last

Greensleeves · 25/02/2006 21:44

I say scones to rhyme with "stones" too It really annoys me when people pronounce it "sconn"!!

FrannyandZooey · 25/02/2006 21:58
Elibean · 25/02/2006 22:00

Now I'm happy.
And also wondering how I got that pronounciation...my Mum is French, my Dad is a Londoner, but when they married they lived in Keele. I reckon my mother picked up the local pronounciation, and passed it on to all of us - she still says scones-like-stones today. But no one in Oxford or London does, as far as I know!
At last, proof of my birth-heritage...

harpsichordcarrier · 25/02/2006 22:00

it ANNOYS you greensleeves??
get a grip sweetie

FrannyandZooey · 25/02/2006 22:02

Jeez HC did you read the rest of the thread? I nearly had to get the meathook out to save GS' sanity at one point, she's been on here all day bickering about eff knows what

harpsichordcarrier · 25/02/2006 22:03

no I couldn't really be arsed tbh
I read the first post and thought oh this prolly kicked off
summarise it for me pls....

FrannyandZooey · 25/02/2006 22:06

Is it ok to say "I don't want no chips"?

Yes.
No.
Yes.
NO.
YES!
LOOK YOU ARE MAKING ME CROSS NOW, NO IT ISN'T!
ACTUALLY, YES IT ARSING WELL IS!!!!!!!
Oh ok then.

I think that was about it.

Greensleeves · 25/02/2006 23:48

I have not been on here all day bickering about eff knows what. I have been out, spending money on unnecessary tat and stuffing my face. So there.

Hrumpf.

And double negatives are WRONG.

Well they are.

Babydaze · 26/02/2006 00:03

My 8yr old DS doesn't have ' a complete grasp of the calender' I don't find it surprising that Easy's Ds' girlfriend didn't know it's Feb. My Ds can tell the time, swim, ride a bike & do a million other things. But he doesn't know our phone no & gets our address back to front (he says the rd & postcode first) Reading throught this thread just shows how individual our children are. They're not robots after all.It's good that your son is 'advanced' Easy, (Is he an only child, by the way?) But most likely his wee friend excels at other things.

Babydaze · 26/02/2006 00:22

P.S: I think double negatives are wrong too. But these days we're all so multi cultured we're bound to speak differently. I have an Irish accent & people(even my own kids) do question my pronounciation. I don't care! I know I'm right & colloquialisms are charming in their own way.

Ellbell · 26/02/2006 01:13

For me the seatbelt thing is a safety issue. I want to know that my dds (5 and nearly 4) are safely secured, and that's why I do it up myself. They can undo it themselves, but they know that they are meant to wait till I tell them it's OK to do so.

Dd1 (6 in May) knows the months of the year and what month it is now, and also her birthday. Dd2 knows her birthday, but not all the other months. Have deliberately not taught them to tell the time, because then I can get them into bed early if I need to and they don't complain that 'it's not bedtime yet'! ... Am I a really mean mummy?

Babydaze · 26/02/2006 01:19

Ellbell, you crafty thing you!

SuperTramp · 26/02/2006 05:30

She sounds ok to me. As for 'I don't want no chips', it is isn't standard English but as long as people understand her then what's the problem? A 6 year old wouldn't be able to work through that sentence and realise why it's wrong and she's probably just answering as she's learned to do by her parents example. It gives no indication of her intellect or development.

Original poster
Easy · 26/02/2006 12:44

Yep Babydaze, he's an only child (well he has two much older step siblings, who don't live with us).

Also we are "older parents", and according to something I've read, older parents tend to bring their children on more.

My original post really wasn't meant to be judgemental. I just don't realise in what ways ds is advanced.

OP posts:
bosscat · 26/02/2006 13:24

well my ds1 who is 4 can't do his own seat belt and I find it really hard to do it myself and I'm 35. I drive a renault grand espace and with his booster seat on you really have to stretch and twist to shove the blasted thing in, it is really difficult. I wouldn't expect him to be able to do it as it is so tricky. He thinks it is his birthday every day and he can recite the months but doesn't really understand the significance. He isn't slow he's bright as a button. they all develop differently. Easy, absolutely everybody thinks they have a very bright child by the way, it is all meaningless at this age I think.

Rhubarb · 26/02/2006 13:33

This kind of thing really makes me bloody annoyed and angry! When will we stop comparing! To say "I know that my child is advanced, other people say so" - so? Why not just put a badge on your child saying "GENIUS CHILD, PROUD PARENTS" Whoop de doo if your kid is clever, I'm really pleased for you, but to compare your child to other kids at the expense of that other child, well ffs!

My dd is 5.5 and sometimes she cannot fasten her seatbelt, whereas her same age friend can, she doesn't know the days of the week in English and I think she knows that her birthday is in July, but I only think this, she will probably say it's in summer. She has no idea about the months. And who bloody well cares? She's brilliant at other things and I would never compare her to anyone else, she is who she is!

Really, I shouldn't come on these comparing threads, they just get my goat! All this, "look at how clever my child is compared to everyone else's!" Give them a break! They're CHILDREN!

Enid · 26/02/2006 13:35

have just realised you correctd her speech

would never do that to someone else's child

lockets · 26/02/2006 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Rhubarb · 26/02/2006 13:46

Angry? I'd be bloody livid! Every child is different and others take longer to catch up. But saying that yours is cleverer than anothers always pisses me off. It's like saying "my dd is far prettier than her friend", you wouldn't make that kind of comment, so why do this?

FairyMum · 26/02/2006 13:47

I would be more concerned that my children had friends who were kind, caring and fun to be with.

geekgrrl · 26/02/2006 13:48

yes, it'a a very unpleasant thought. TBH it would never occur to me to a) assess my dd's friend's development and then b) discuss it on here.

expatinscotland · 26/02/2006 13:53

As I've always said, 'Isn't being a good person enough?'

As for 'older parents bringing their children on more' - huh?

So, if you happen to be a younger parent or born to a younger parent, your child is doomed to a life of not being as 'advanced' as the one born to older parents?

Gimme a break.

This 'advanced' rubbish is just silly. It's a term that always gets my hackles up b/c it's bandied about in America like kids are some disgusting eugenics experiment.

They're children, ffs!

egocentriczebra · 26/02/2006 13:57

People on MN are talking about "other" people's children all the time, don't really see a big deal about it. Besides, most the thread posters agree that Easy is being unrealistic about what her s friend's dd should def. be able to do.

bosscat · 26/02/2006 14:00

I know I actually felt horrible that this poor child had been compared to another and then deemed slow. I would feel dreadful if someone was writing about my ds1 and saying how "shocked" they were at what he could and couldn't do. I only get shocked if children misbehave and their parents do bugger all about it. I am so sick of people banging on about how bright their kids are. I think its quite laughable actually and shouldn't get annoyed.