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Original poster

May have messed up today........[sad]

23 replies

Katymac · 22/02/2006 22:10

DD is 8and has been bedwetting since a bullying episode last Feb.

I have been talking about moving her to a new school and mention the new school occasionally in conversation to get her used to the idea.

Today she said she didn't want to move school as she would miss her best friend

I said well if you keep wetting your bed I'll keep thinking you're unhappy at school and I'll move you. If you don't wet the bed I'll know you are happy and you can stay where you are.

I think I've been unfair to her - and that I've threatened her or I'm "punishing" her for wetting the bed and I feel really sad

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goldstarlover · 22/02/2006 22:12

well... see how it works out in the morning eh?

Original poster
Katymac · 22/02/2006 22:13

I was tired and feeling rotten and dreading yet another load of bed clothes in the morning

I shouldn't have said it - should i?

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Twiglett · 22/02/2006 22:15

can't you just talk to her about it .. I'd have thought she was old enough to understand that grown-ups sometimes say things without meanig it .. don't beat youreself up about it

alliebaba · 22/02/2006 22:16

twiglett, the voice of reason.. i agree. just talk to her and give her a nice cuddle

RedTartanLass · 22/02/2006 22:16

Och katymac we all say things we regret later and not just to our wee ones.I'm sure some wise mnetter will come up with something you can say to her tomorrow.

Original poster
Katymac · 22/02/2006 22:17

Twiglett - you're right I'll talk to her tomorrow

but basically what I said is true - I think that even sadder, if things don't change I have to assume unhappiness at school is causing it

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goldstarlover · 22/02/2006 22:17

it depends.. if you think she can help it or not.

if you think that it is something she can stop doing then no, i don't necessarily think you said the wrong thing.

if it is a genuine thing that she can't help then maybe... but like twig says, have a chat with her. say you're sorry and that you just want her to be happy

Spidermama · 22/02/2006 22:17

Katy I can fully understand your frustration though. It's no party having to wash sheets every day.

RedTartanLass · 22/02/2006 22:17

good grief could I have made that last post any more Scottish

RedTartanLass · 22/02/2006 22:18

Did the bedwetting start at the same time as the bullying?

Twiglett · 22/02/2006 22:19

you could have made it more scottish with a 'the noo' in it perchance

Original poster
Katymac · 22/02/2006 22:19

S'ok Redtartanlass - I have scottish ancestors (including the apophrical hung for sheep stealing sort)

I'll calm down and see how things are tomorrow

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Original poster
Katymac · 22/02/2006 22:21

Sorry about the spelling

Yes the BW started at the same time as the bullying

We have seen the enuresis clinic and are waiting to see the family support team

It's just so boring -everyday (well 3-5 week nights) and it stops in the holidays

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WharfRat · 22/02/2006 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Katymac · 22/02/2006 22:38

Thanks guys

Night all

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soapbox · 23/02/2006 00:12

Katymac - bedwetting occurs for all sorts of reasons and may not be related to the bullying.

Perhaps it might take the pressure off all of you, if you just think for a while that it isn't.

Perhaps it is home related. Perhaps (being blu sky about it) the bullying happened because of the bed wetting!

I think what has been said, has been said and you shouldn't sweat over it. Nevertheless, I'm not sure that that kind of pressure is helpful.

My sister bedwetted until her teens, she was also bullied. Even now, many conversations down the track I still can't work out the cause and effect

MummyPig · 23/02/2006 00:21

katymac, I know what it's like dreading that new pile of sheets etc every morning. My ds also started bedwetting at around the same time as some bullying at school last summer term. Changing school didn't help, although he had a brief patch of being dry over Christmas. So it seems that the cause/effect isn't necessarily as clearcut as I had thought.

But I also agree that kids can be quite forgiving and if you apologise I don't suppose there will be any huge lasting harm done. Your regret over this one comment implies you're doing pretty well the rest of the time. I like WharfRat's suggestion about working out how to stay in touch with her best friend as well.

jowen · 23/02/2006 00:52

I have used these at work

They are water proof backed, cottonlike topped pads that just lie on the bed. Generically known as kylies. You just sling them in the washing machine, so much easier than stripping the whole bed. They last a lot of washes, especially if you just wash them on 40C, I assume she doesn't soil the bed also? The ones in the nursing home where I work last about 2 years of daily 70C washes!

jowen · 23/02/2006 00:53

Oh, put it on top of the bottom sheet, not underneath, so that your dd is in direct contact with it. that is what saves the sheets

soapbox · 23/02/2006 01:05

Katy - I have a John Lewis terry towelling waterproof sheet if you want it. I used to double layer them so when DS wet in the middle of the night, I just whipped the top one off and the one underneath was still there.

There was also just one sheet and a pair of pjs to shove in the machine in the morning!

You can have it if you want it - just let me know

UCM · 23/02/2006 02:01

I wet the bed when I was at infants (not bullied) and juniors only bullied in the last year, so I don't think that bedwetting is linked. I still wet the bed occasionally when I was 12. I used to challenge my mum all the time as I was not allowed to sleep over at any of my friends houses.

I had a v.happy stable upbringing BTW so I don't know what the underlying causes were.

Just call me Pissy

UCM · 23/02/2006 02:03

Just wanted to add, my poor mum used to sit in the bathroom with me running the tap, whistling, anything to make me wee before bed..... bless her. I still wee'd

Original poster
Katymac · 23/02/2006 07:07

Thanks guys

I do have various waterproofs etc

when she wets it's pj's, sheets, quilt cover & occasionally quilt too

I really don't get cross - just weary - I thought she needed to know why I might move her to another school

On reflection I feel it was only fair to tell her - she needs to know why I might uproot her and take her away from her friend - I was mean or nasty about it I simply explained that I thought she was unhappy at school because of the B/Wing and that if it didn't stop, I would change her school

I'll see when she wakes if it had any effect

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