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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

OK so how do you get yours to stay sitting at the table?

11 replies

JiminyCricket · 15/02/2006 14:21

In her booster seat dd used to stay at the table pretty well, even though she could get in and out of it, but now she's in a proper chair she whizzes off all over the place and while I don't want to be too draconian over it, it drives us nuts

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sunnydelight · 15/02/2006 16:24

This is really draconian so you may not be prepared to do it but believe me it works As soon as she leaves the table tell her that if she has finished you will clear her plate, she doesn't come back to the table, and that's it food-wise until the next meal. Give her one chance to come back and if not, do what you have said. I reckon they need to be about 2 1/2 to truly understand consequences, so it's probably a bit harsh if she is younger.

helsi · 15/02/2006 16:28

I agree sunnydelight - not draconian at all in my opinion - just good discipline.

dd is 3.2 and since she was about 2.8 we have used a similar method. If she says she is full she is asked to try one more mouthful. If she is still adamant that she is full then she can leave the table but it is made clear that her leftovers will be thrown away (or given to the dog!) and there will be nothing else until the next meal.
It works sometimes - other times she is asking for crisps an hour later but its just a matter of sticking to your guns.

Oh and additionally - she is not allowed to leave the table until she has asked daddy if she can do so (or me if he is not there).

Feistybird · 15/02/2006 16:28

Sunnydelight - exactly what I have done in the past

Original poster

JiminyCricket · 15/02/2006 16:55

No, don't necessarily think that's too draconian - did it work quite quickly with yours? Quite like the idea of having to ask to leave the table - good manners anyway, but also means they focus on the meal until a definite ending (I'm fine with her going once she doesn't want any more to eat, but want her to stay sitting up if she's going to have pudding).

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poppiesinaline · 15/02/2006 18:18

I started a thread on this a few weeks ago. My DS1 is 9 years old and I still have problems getting him to sit still at mealtimes. His sister is 3 years younger and sits perfectly. I was amazed at how many children have the same problem at his age. I have tried everything btw and nothing works as had quite a few other MNetters with theirs. Sorry, that probably wasn't very helpful . Mind you - he never even sat still in a highchair or booster seat > So if your DD did sit still there is probably hope.

sunnydelight · 15/02/2006 19:24

Yes it did work fairly quickly with DD JiminyCricket, and as you say she has to stay at the table if she wants pudding. Both the boys were so into their food getting them to stay at the table wasn't a problem - they were always hoping there would be seconds

Original poster

JiminyCricket · 15/02/2006 21:22

Thanks poppies / SD - there is hope for me yet, as she is definitely very into her food. Funnily enough at other peoples houses she is always the last child still there eating, and at nursery they marvel at her capacity to put food away!

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blueshoes · 15/02/2006 21:51

Cricket, if your dd seems to know how to behave at the table at nursery and other people's houses, I'd be tempted to cut her some slack at home. I know, I know, your dd should know better but ... it is probably just a phase. She will rejoin your dinner table again nicely when ready.

Tortington · 15/02/2006 22:37

i was never overly arsed about it. never got my knickers in a twist over this. i used to put them on the floor or let them eat off a lower talbe - telly was off and they sat and ate - well behaved - it didn't matter to me that it was at the table as long as they didnt chuck food about - becuase my nan drilled into me that food was not fer messin with!

DominiConnor · 15/02/2006 23:38

We have never really fought their desire to get down, except in restaurants. They eat until they finish the food or ask to get down.
Once old enough, if they don't eat enough we let them get hungry and every itme they ask for food point out that they had their chance. Took a couple of whingey afternoons, but now they usually eat.

Original poster

JiminyCricket · 16/02/2006 13:44

I think it only bothers me because she is a bit of a hoarder - you know, that kid who would (given the chance) carry around a snack on a plate all day, gradually adding more things to it (the other day she ended up with a bag of cookies with a piece of cake and 4 slices of apple in the bag too, all just being carried around and looked at periodically), so she thinks she can wander to and from the table and prevaricate for hours and her food will still be there. Anyway, I am happy to report that she has now started asking to get down from the table (after a lot of 'why mummy?) and generally been a bit more settled/less fights. Thanks all

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