My friend has said some really insensitive things today...

[knittynoodle]

Please reassure me all is well. (Or help me think up comeback's!)

My 14mo DS doesn't say an awful lot that is intelligible to everyone. To me and DP it is, but obviously we see him all the time. Friend has a 2.5yo DD and everything she does is so advanced, from the way she sings songs, counts to 10, holds her pen, everything is a sign of her great intelligence. To me she is an average little girl, very sweet and loving. He really does go on about it to the point of arrogance.

I can probably count around 10 words DS says, not clearly at all, but he does understand a lot more. And don't boys sometimes take a little longer? (No idea if this is actually true, but friends have agreed it is)

Every time I see this friend he asks 'Is he talking yet?' like one day he will spontaneously read Moby Dick aloud while tapdancing and juggling kittens. Think I may have to avoid this friend for a while :(

I hate this competitive bollox

Yes try to ease her out

Grim innit

Him, sorry

i think your ds is doing well at 14 months! mine had maybe a word or two at this age. some children pick up language faster than others, and there is a sort of a threshold after which acquisition races along. my dd had 5 words for ages and then blammo! sentences.

possibly your friend doesn't mean anything and is just making conversation. i was v sensitive about a few things with my first child, but far more laid back with the second; i felt beyond all that worrying about milestones.

in any case, don't worry, your ds sounds lovely.

Be pleased you can recognise 10 words - DS 15 mo can say mum, daaaaad ( very loudly), nyeh (yes) and ...... Oh screech really loudly - that's his main form of communication
Ignore your "friend" and enjoy your son

It is one of the joys of parenting.

Just say yes/no and smile like a loon, seems to work a treat. :o

Thanks all. I'm not being over sensitive over this guy either, friends without children have even commented on how overboard he goes on expressing her genius status.

He said my son has a taliban cry. DS has a muslim father :(

I think your DS is doing amazingly well at 14 months to be saying 10 words, my DS now 2.5yrs didn't have any at that point. However, he now sings lots of songs, counts to 10 and holds his pen correctly, so I'd say this friends DD is average too!

First of all, to say 10 words at 14 months is perfectly normal and not slow at all.

Secondly, they're all different! My MIL used to tell a story about her DD and the neighbour's DD and how competitive she and her neighbour were about it, tuttutting each other. You see, at 18 months her DD was running but didn't have any teeth, and the neighbour's DD still couldn't walk but had a mouthful of teeth. When they were 2 years old, her DD had teeth, and the neighbour's DD could run. Lesson learnt. It'll all be fine with your DS's language!

He sounds like someone you'd be far happier living without! My 4 month old ds says daaadaaaaaa and baaaabaaaaa and occasionally maaaamaaaaa and we're all delighted with him! Enjoy the baby babble, utterly normal and no signalling of future abilities.

Avoid, and feel slightly sorry for him as he clearly has nothing else to think about and needs to live his life vicariously through a toddler. I never did get why people got such a kick out of their very small children doing things faster or better - it's not much of a prediction of anything. I once heard a radio programme about Roald Dahl, who apparently did not utter a word until he was 3 - this comes back to me every time some loony parent starts wittering on about little Lola's amazing ability to name 27 species of bird aged only 15 months.

Although (just read your update) that is a bloody outrageous thing to say re your son's cry, at best completely thoughtless foot-in-mouth stuff, and at worst massively offensive. Are you sure you want to be friends with this man?

Your boy is doing well to have 10 words at 14 months.
Your friend's DD will probably turn out to be perfectly average (counting to 10 at 2.5 is not a sign of genius).
His taliban comment was ignorant and insensitive.
Tbh I would tell him to fuck off. He sounds like a nightmare.

REmind us all again, why are you friends with this racist knobber?

I felt like crying and just couldn't even think of anything to say back. He has been really great to us in other ways though. Giving us loads of toys, clothes, buying me coffee once a week, he's been a good friend. That comment today just made me think 'oh so thats what you have thought of us all along.' Maybe because I am not muslim he thought I would laugh but it just broke my heart. Esp after all the listening I have done to his child prodigy comments. I have known him since I was 11. :(

Sorry to hijack but reading this has just made me feel so much better. My HV told me that my 11 month old (only 10 and a bit months at the time) was behind because she wasn't saying any words yet and that by her 12 months check she should be saying lots of words. Not helped by 'friends' telling me how much their babies talk! She babbles as any baby does, but that's it. My rational head tells me that this is right as she is just a baby but the HV did worry me (although did remind me why I rarely visit!). So thank you for restoring my sanity on this!

Yy to hating the competitive bollix bit also just wanted to say that I now have a lovely mental image of a tap-dancing toddler juggling kittens. Excellent!!

Knitty- just remember that he is the idiot. Just let your DS develop at his own pace, supporting him as he grows older and hopefully he will be happy.

FWIW- my DN is 16 mths. He can say some words and has one phrase he likes to use "I did it!". Mostly? He shrieks! or headbutts.

We will worry when he gets to 23 and still not saying simple words. All babies are different.

Firstly I think your 14mo old is a genius - my 14m DD says mama and dada (occasionally!) and that's it. DS didn't utter one word till he was 18mo (oh, except "no")

Secondly you need to get rid of this friend "Taliban cry"? Ffs. That's either incredibly insensitive or incredibly offensive. I'm sorry OP .

Not 4 month, 14 month :o

My DD is 21 months and she sounds like she is talking gibberish most of the time! I don't think she had any words at all at 14 months, maybe dadda. Your friend sounds vile.

10 words at 14 months? That's pretty bloody good IMO!

I have a very competitive friend. I take it from her as a sign of her own insecurities and self absorption, I just nod and go 'yes dear' as she brags about this and that that her kids do. I say v little about how wonderful my kids are to my friends, don't need to, they speak for themselves, and deveopments get commented on by others.

I do however spend much less time around this person than I used to for this very reason, not because my own children do not seem to match her older full kids, but because he bloody annoys me with it all!

Secret - my ds learnt that one too! Followed closely by 'i did it yey! With arms in air! He says it all the time still now he is 2

It's great- we use it to get a confession.

For example, he tipped his cup all over himself and the sofa when we were last visiting. My DSis then asked "what happened?" and he replied grinning "I did it!" before I could explain. :D

I usually get filled with dread when I hear him shouting g 'I did it' or see him runni g towards me with arms in air saying it. If tends to mean Something Bad like black crayon drawing on white fire place wall...

My dd had a large vocabulary at 15 months old, she could do 2 coherent word sentences. . . .
Then discovered at about 17 months old that screaming the word "THAT" and pointing at something and just repeating "THAT THAT THAT THAT" until you gave it to her bashed her on the head with it actually replaced everything else, and then all her friends caught her up!!

Means NOTHING and he's a dick