Very angry 5 year old

[mnistooaddictive]

Dd is just 5 and us a very angry child. As soon as she doesn't get her own way she flips out and hits, kicks etc. it is like the red mist descends and she completely looses control. She is very bright and doesn't have these problems at school but I have tried everything. She regrets it later but as soon as she gets angry she dies everything she can think of to try and hurt me and DH I clouding trashing her bedroom and hurting us physically. She has been like this for ages but when she was 2/3 people said she would grow out of it but that doesn't seem to be happening. Does anyone have any advice? Feeling desperate right now and scared that if we don't stop it, then she will still be physically attacking us at 15.

My ds was like this. The fury over everything was incredible. Started at 2 and he's now nearly 7.

It got really bad and constant. I understand the pressure you're feeling, op. It can ruin family life.

Does she have siblings? Anything that has rattled her sense of security?

Ds sees a counsellor now. It's helped a lot.

Ask your GP to recommend someone. Something like play therapy can get to the root of the issue for such a young child.

Don't leave it. If she's behaving at school then she's not got a 'condition' (sorry for clumsy expression!) but something is troubling her.

She has a younger sister who is 20 months younger but it didn't start at the same time.

We don't give in to her but the continual battles are driving me round the bend! Thanks for your advice.

My ds2 is like this. He's 4. Behaves well at school, so angry at home.

He's just started play therapy, so Can't say yet if it will help. I really hope so, as life is not great with the tantrums.

Her behaviour may not have started at the same time but it could still be a big factor.

Let her win sometimes. It makes her feel important and that what she wants matters.

My 5 yr old has tantrums on and off which goes on for 2-3 weeks. This is the time when I get so frustrated cause she is so angry and irate most times. I try to be patient with her most times but do loose my cool few times. She is good at school however different at home. She whines all the time and cries for small things, gets angry at friends near our apprtmt, hits them sometimes. I notice this behavior around the time she has her allergic rhinitis. Just hope and pray she grows out of it.

What's a play therapy ?

My DS was like this at 4. Now 5 is much better but still has bad days. We have had open conversations about how it feels to be angry and what sort of behaviour is ok when we're cross/angry and what sort of behaviour is not ok. For example, it is not ok to hit or shout directly at others. But it is ok to take anger out on something like a cushion and crying/shouting is ok as we do have anger that needs to come out sometimes. We take DS (calmly) to his room if he is struggling to control anger and ask him if he wants us to stay outside the room or inside with him. He knows he has a special cushion he can hit or throw. This works for us quite well if at home. If we're out and about it can be a lot more challenging though. As with tantrums when he was much younger, tiredness and hunger make things worse.

try making sure she is well fed at all times
exercise
sleeping well
plenty of firm hugs
rocking gently

ds has not grown out of tantrums either, but then he is on the AS.