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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Four year old can't put socks and shoes on?

16 replies

stella1w · 15/02/2012 00:31

Feel really bad. Had a friend's daughter round for a playdate and when it was time for me to drop her back, she got totally overwhelmed at getting her socks and shoes on. I honestly thought this was something all four year olds could do (they had velcro).

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ICanTuckMyBoobsInMyPockets · 15/02/2012 00:52

And now you know they can't. Why do you feel terrible?

duchesse · 15/02/2012 01:00

There are many 4yo with extensive special needs who may well not be able to do these things, so evidently it is not something that all 4yos can do. I don't really understand your question.

Original poster

stella1w · 15/02/2012 01:00

Because I just kept bustling about trying to get the baby ready to go out and didn't register that she really couldn't do it and she was upset. She then wanted me to carry her back to her Mum's in a sling - it's a five minute walk.

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Original poster

stella1w · 15/02/2012 01:03

@ duchesse...
I never met a four year old who coudn't put their shoes on and presumed (wrongly) that a four year old who goes to nursery can.
And I am wondering if this girl does have some kind of special needs that hr mother didn't tell me about.

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RainySmallHands · 15/02/2012 01:12

You are being a bit naive I think. I have a 4yo with no SN (that I know of) who struggles with shoes & socks.

They are all different. I thought that much was obvious...

Original poster

stella1w · 15/02/2012 01:17

I know. I feel bad.

OP posts:

duchesse · 15/02/2012 01:24

My DS (now 18) really struggled with things involving fine motor skills like dressing himself. He needed help until he pretty much 7 or it would take him 2 hours to get dressed. He has/had no discernible special needs, just rather limited fine motor skills (it took him ages to write legibly in fact he still doesn't) and he simply avoided doing it as much as possible. No amount of cajoling, threatening, encouraging etc made any difference.

The girls, in contrast, have all been of the "I do it" school from very early. DD3 can already take off and put on most clothing, including buttons, poppers and zips etc. My parenting of my DDs and my DS has been in no way different (apart from having to do a lot more for DS).

Original poster

stella1w · 15/02/2012 01:28

Thanks.. up to now, my dd friends have been usually ahead of her in most areas.. so I presumed anything she could do, most kids her age could do.

OP posts:

JarethTheGoblinKing · 15/02/2012 01:49

My 4yo is perfectly capable of putting on shoes and socks at preschool , for some reason he is incapable of doing so at home.

What has sn got to do with it, the op was (presumably) talking about nt children

Seona1973 · 15/02/2012 08:17

my ds is 5 and still moans about putting socks on. He will put on everything else including shoes but still struggles with socks.

SKYTVADDICT · 15/02/2012 08:27

My 4 year old DS is lazy I think. He can just about put his shoes on but usually the wrong feet - I have never seen him put a sock on though and we never usually have time to let him try [sigh]

My 3 year old DS is sadly following in his footsteps.

I don't think school have been particularly impressed with DS1 as he is apparatently always last getting changed for PE - must try harder with DS2.

Never had a problem with the older DDs though so was thinking it may be a boy thing? Or they are just lazy

Dysgu · 15/02/2012 08:36

I have a 3 year old DD who can fully dress and undress herself including socks, shoes and anything with zips.

I also have a 5 year old DD who can still not manage to put socks on or do anything with a t-shirt despite trying! She also struggles with zips and buttons.

The younger one has always been much further along with physical development though and I figure the older one will get there - her fine motor skills are generally fine ( she can write okay) - she has just always been slow to 'do' things.

Dysgu · 15/02/2012 08:36

I like to think, though, that had she been in the position above, she would simply have asked for help.

Chundle · 15/02/2012 12:32

Socks are tricky I think I still struggle when I'm hungover :)
My 8 yr old still struggles with laces and my 2.5 yr old can't get socks and shoes on properly. It's a fine motor skills issue as duchess says (waves at duchess) . However I wouldn't worry as I don't personally know any adults that can't put their socks and shoes on!

lostboysfallin · 15/02/2012 21:57

My 4 year old couldn't put his socks on, and would probably put his shoes on the wrong feet
No sn.
Didn't realise it was an issue

tigerlillyd02 · 16/02/2012 09:36

They're all different. Mind you, I think I'd expect most 4 yr olds to be able to do this, with the exception of those with SN of course.

DS is 2.3 and can manage his coat and shoes - not sure about socks though, he can take them off but don't think he's mastered putting them on yet. Most children I know of personally have managed to dress during their toddler years, with the exception of my younger brother who was at the end of primary school before he could dress himself properly (he still can't do laces on shoes at 13) but he has dyspraxia.

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