3 year old with appalling table manners

[rhetorician]

e.g.messes with food, mushes it on the table, plays with it, etc. Usually she doesn't really want the food, but yells blue murder if you take it off her. It was OK for a while, but I think I'd be a bit taking her out and about (although she is much better if she is not at home). How can I make her eat tolerably neatly? I accept spills and dropping food go with the toddler territory - it's the deliberate mucking about I can't abide (she knows it drives me nuts, of course)

zero tolerance? messing and no food - she's not exactly a hearty eater in any case?

She's still young and touching / mushing /experimenting with food is normal. I'd leave her to it for a while longer and ignore her. She's probably doing it more because she knows it winds you up.

My daughter did this too. I had a star chart for eating nicely (using a spoon and fork) which took over six months to complete because she just didn't want to do it. Then one day she said that she would use a spoon and fork when she was four. I told her she would need to practise ready, and she did.

She isn't perfect now, but she tries really really hard, and nothing that I had done for the previous year had had any impact at all. I didn't take her out as I was too embarrassed, and hated visiting relatives (if they came to me I did food you could eat with fingers!). I guess what I am trying to say is that she will do it when she's ready.

My daugher also can't do buttons or zips on clothes, and I think that actually eating nicely is difficult for her.

Good luck

mummypig yeah, my dd can't manage zips or buttons yet either and yes, she does do it to wind me up as well