Exhausted by 3 yr old's daily tantrums

[ilovesushi]

I am having a tough time dealing with my 3 yr old son's difficult behaviour and daily tantrums. He is bright, funny, loving boy but he turns EVERYTHING into a struggle - getting out of bed, getting dressed, eating breakfast, getting shoes and coat on, turning off Cebeebies, getting into the car, out again etc. If I go with the flow like today, we don't leave the house til early afternoon. If I set the schedule he has a meltdown.

I am reading a lot of helpful books "Rasing Your Spirited Child" "How to talk" etc. But none of the really address how on earth do I keep my cool and my sanity. I have run out of patience and find myself yelling at my child which is not the kind of mother I want to be. HELP!!!!

Playful Parenting is another good book .

Does he get choices - his clothes, apple or banana etc. Maybe he is trying to assert a bit of power over his day. How about an imaginary play session were you nag his teddies to get up, get dressed etc - he might like to join and defuse a bit of tension from everyday stresses. Let him boss you about a bit while playing Lego or whatever he wants. (This is all from above book).

Its really hard not to loose it ("put the bloody toothbrush in YOUR mouth ds not just the train's, the helicopter's and all the characters in the books!") but I try and recognise when I am getting close and then don't react for 3 seconds and think about how crap I (and ds obviously) would feel if I shouted at him. Most of the time it works. And then pat yourself on the back and recognise you managed to control yourself.

Have you heard the advice (from someone else on here!) to imagine someone else is watching you when you feel like you are about to lose it? So it makes you parent in the way you would like others to see you parent?

Oh yes, I believe it is: imagine there is a documentary film crew following you around .

Goodness, this sounds just like me at the mo! I have a 3 year old and 17 month old and am finding it so hard to keep my cool with my toddler. She is incredibly strong willed and has taken to just screaming and shouting if she can't do what she wants to do. I have tried ignoring her, putting her on the stairs (the other side of the stairgate!) until she calms down, but she still does it time and time again. It is at least once a day at the moment. I really shouted at her earlier on and no, I don't want to be like that and felt utterly terrible! I have just put them both up to bed as I think she's knackered... but that means she won't go to sleep until about 9 o'clock tonight! I too, am at my wits end and don't know the best way to deal with her. It seems that she just doesn't care if you take things away or try and reason with her.

If you are still around please tell me if it got any better with time.. My DD started being like that 3 weeks ago. Every single thing we do is a struggle.. What is worse she also misbehaves at the CM, which means we are frequently asked to pick her up earlier - really problematic for me as I have just started a new job and obviously want to make a good impression ( tantrums started before the switch btw. and the current setup means that I can see DD in the morning before I leave which she likes ). I'm at my wits' end.

Watching with interest as this all sounds very familiar with my nearly 3 year old DS... Like the playful parenting ideas.
I cannot believe that the previous posters CM asks you to pick up your DD earlier when she misbehaves! Surely it is part if the CM's job to deal with sometimes challenging behaviour!