Toilet training?

EllenandBump · 2012-01-07T15:04:34+00:00

When do i start toilet training and what do i need to do it? My son is 18months and i am not sure, he is my first, mum said i was dry night and day by 14months. eek. x

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Yorky · 07/01/2012 15:24

14months - wow! wish mine were like you - DD turned 3 in November and is mostly dry during the day now, I think before 2 is rare

Original poster

EllenandBump · 07/01/2012 15:26

Thats okay then, i was getting worried he was really behind but the health visitor never mentioned it. That has put my mind to rest to be honest. x

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Seona1973 · 07/01/2012 17:11

dd was 2 1/2 when we starting daytime training and she was trained very quickly and was then dry overnight by age 3. DS started a bit earllier (showed signs of wanting to train - i didnt push him into it) and was daytime trained by 2 and overnight by 2 1/2 years.

yankiedoodledandy · 07/01/2012 17:20

My DS is 2 in a few weeks and I've not even started. I've bought a potty and a padded loo seat with handles but not tried them yet. Am tempted to try going straight to the toilet and miss out the potty stage. Don't know if anyone has any comments on that? He's my first too so I've no idea either! Was planning to wait til it gets a bit warmer then plan a few days when we can be at home nappy free so he can have a few accidents on the wooden floor. I've heard the longer you leave it, the easier it is (as they're ready) so I'm not going to push it. Will keep an eye on this thread though for advice!

Original poster

EllenandBump · 07/01/2012 17:22

Okay so 18months is a little young then? Mum did say that having an older sibling does bring the younger one on quicker cos they tend to copy the older one. Thank you. My mind is easier now. x

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Hairynigel · 07/01/2012 17:34

I've been wondering the same, DS is also 18 months. Think I might wait till he is a bit older and can talk a bit. I would keep encouraging potty use a bit though just so it's not totally new to them when they do start.

BsshBossh · 07/01/2012 17:44

When DD was 2.5. She was fully potty-trained (wees and poos) after 1 month and toilet-trained a month after that.

pranma · 07/01/2012 17:49

It is very rare to get anywhere with potty training before 2 and most are not fully trained before 3.I think your mum may be misremembering a bit :)

Meglet · 07/01/2012 17:53

I started mine at 2.6. Loads of failed attempts and gave up.

In the end they both did it over the Xmas period as we didn't have to go out, they were both about 3.3 at the time.

DS was finally done at 3.5 and DD has just about cracked it at 3.4.

I really can't be bothered with wet pants / rushing to the loo every 20 mins, so let them wear pull ups for months to get them used to going to the loo. Didn't let them wear pants until they were almost dry all day.

Original poster

EllenandBump · 07/01/2012 17:57

I was going to buy the pull up nappies when he goes up a size which i think will be a couple of months so he'll be used to them and buy him a potty as well so he is used to it a bit before he starts using it. my former MIL said hers wee dry by ten months, dont really believe her to be honest. She exaggerates on everything. x

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DeWe · 07/01/2012 17:59

Children used to potty train earlier due to waahable nappies (easier for them as with modern disposible nappies they often can't feel they're wet) and enouragement from parents (well if you had no washing machine and terry nappies, I think it would be an added insentive don't you?)

I found pull ups confusing for my dc as they just felt like a nappy to them. I went for summer timing so they could be outside and bare bottomed. They all trained reliably within a week, the only one I had wt pants for was dd2 who liked to leave it to the last minute to tell me and sometimes we couldn't get to the toilet in time.

Original poster

EllenandBump · 07/01/2012 18:02

I suppose so, but ten months still seems a little young me thinks. She also said she started holding them on a potty and waiting for them to go when they were about 4 weeks old... i didnt have time or energy to do that at 4 weeks!! x

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LionsnTigersnBears · 07/01/2012 18:05

Know what you mean Ellen, according to my mother I was a toilet prodigy as well, but then she was trying to tell me that it was ok to give my dd a poached egg when she (dd) was 5 weeks old so I tend to take it all with a pinch of salt (not the egg obviously!). My dd is 18 months now and we've not started trying to train. A friend suggested waiting until she can sit on a potty watching a dvd as it makes it easier to wait until something is produced and then praise like wild. To be honest I have no idea how the h*ll we're going to do this and am in denial about having to. :)

Original poster

EllenandBump · 07/01/2012 18:13

Glad i am not the only one unsure of what to do. I am sure parents used to get more help from midwives etc to bring children up! There are no HV appointments any more. No support what so ever. My son started solids at about 5 and a half months. He is (only just) on normal milk of a morning. I am worried about how to do it too. :) not the only one and glad to hear it. x

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reallytired · 07/01/2012 18:22

What you mums did was elimination communication It is more of a method of dealing with waste than actual toilet training. I tried it with dd and it worked well until I went back to work part time. Essentially its based on timing, ie a child invariably wees on waking or after a meal. If you choose to put your baby on the potty at those times you stand a strong chance of catching something. Its not really toilet training as such, although it has the advantage of getting the baby used to the potty.

DD is properly toilet trained at 2 years 7 months. Frankly I don't think that ec made the progress that much quicker. By properly trained I mean both day and night with no accidents. She takes herself to the toilet without prompting and handles her own clothing. The only supervision she needs is to make sure she doesn't make a huge mess playing with the taps.

The problem with modern practice of waiting until the child wants to train is that some children become utterly phobic of the potty. It can be a huge effort to persaude a child to sit on the potty. Two year olds can be very stubborn and don't like change.

I think the fashion for leaving potty training late is why there are more school aged children in nappies. I think its a good idea to introduce a potty once a day into a baby's routine when they can sit, but not consider serious potty training until a child can actually tell you they need a wee.

Yesmynameis · 07/01/2012 18:24

I think fashions for toilet training have really changed so much over the last 30 years, the trend these days is for training much much later.

According to my mum I too was dry in the day by 15 months. I agree the terry nappies made it much easier for younger children to understand when they were wet. I think nowadays the average is somewhere between 2-3.

I have a 14.5mo and the thought of even thinking about potty training her now or in the near future seems totally mad! I might think about giving it a go this summer if she seems ready.

jazzandh · 07/01/2012 18:30

Well DS1 done by 2 years, DS2 presently clean (14 months) and relatively dry during the day. Still in pull ups. However he has been clean since 8/9 months, as I have just popped him on the potty/toilet at each change since 7 months old.

It's a case of how much you can be bothered. My Mum says I was trained by 12 months, they can't all be wrong.....

It is training though...and definitions have changed. DS2 will indicate by grunting if he needs to poo, but will also take advantage of the fact that I put him on the toilet, before and after naps. So his body is trained to respond at those times I guess.

It has been a painless process, and certainly much easier when cleaning up!

My Mum said in "her" day - potty training really wasn't such a big "thing".

Original poster

EllenandBump · 07/01/2012 18:30

All children are individual. May get a potty ang get him to sit on it occasionally (which will be an effort for him to sit in itself) he comes toilet with me so knows what it is for. x

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BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 07/01/2012 19:23

Our ds1was a dream!

I put it off for ages as tbh I couldn't be bothered with the cleaning of accidents and completely lacked confidence on how to even start it.

However, after a stay in hospital at 2.7 at a and e and they couldn't get a sample easily off him thought I better pull my socks up!

Basically we got a step for the loo and a seat. Daddy showed him how to wee standing up- incredibly novel for a two year old with lots of rewards and praise after successful wee. Did no problem. Offered toilet lots throughout the day and he only wet himself a handful of times at most.

With the number 2s we encouraged him to sit for ten mins or so at A time after meals, in the morning and before bedtime bath.again rewards etc. we regularly sat and chatted or even read to him while he was on the loo. Never had a poop accident

Think we were lucky but also he was quite old And ready for it I think. With our new baby I'll be doing the same if he is anything like Alfie was. Certainly not 18 months though for me.

Every kid is different. Good luck when you do it

Original poster

EllenandBump · 07/01/2012 19:28

You do worry that your kid is behind though. Glad to hear people saying that he isnt tbh. Was getting really worried, especially as ex is saying i am an unfit mother and dont look after him properly!

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LionsnTigersnBears · 07/01/2012 19:39

Course he's not behind! Your ex sounds like he's being a bit of a 'behind' though. Who is he to judge? If your dd is happy and healthy, then you're doing fine! (in my self-interested opinion at least :))

Original poster

EllenandBump · 07/01/2012 19:58

Thank you. Everything i seem to do seems to make me an unfit mother! But in his world unless you do exactly as he says you are an unfit mother, bad parent rubbish sibling, t*t c*t or other name. My son is very active, happy and healthy. The HV said he could do with eating more although not underweight, but he does, i always give him loads for dinner and he feeds himself. He eats plenty during the day but is always running around so seems to struggle putting weight on although he has cute chubby cheeks and doesnt look under weight! x

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TeWihara · 07/01/2012 20:01

I haven't met a single child who potty trained before 2yrs... (though I know some people tried!)

We started trying to train DD 2mths ago at 2.7 as she seemed ready and we were hoping to get it done before DS was born. Has been a long slow journey as she could do it very quickly but has struggled with motivation/remembering to go/getting distracted.

She is 2.9 now, and because DH is home atm we are having a solid week with a reward chart for trying at set times of the day, and she has had her 2nd dry/clean day in 2mths.

We should have left it until she was older + more open to bribery originally I think.

TeWihara · 07/01/2012 20:02

x-post your ex sounds like the twat to me!

sophe29 · 07/01/2012 20:05

I think 20/30/40 years ago mums had a different definition of being dry. My mum claims I was potty trained by 18m and whilst I can believe I was out of nappies and going on a potty regularly I VERY much doubt I could take myself, at the correct time, WITHOUT prompting, pull down my knickers (and back up again) and wipe my bum at this age. I suspect she just knew my "cues" and took me regularly herself before I had an accident. Oh as well as "lifting" me at night.

With DD I decided to try and potty train in the summer when she was 2.5 years having convinced myself she was ready. All her friends were doing it and therefore so was she!!!!! It was an utter nightmare and we had accidents FOR MONTHS. Yes she was out of nappies and going on a potty, but in no way could she recognise the need to wee herself(which I think is a vital concept), and if I forgot to take her then it was a complete change of clothes. At the end of it we had to re carpet downstairs as I couldn't bear the thought of the amount of wee soaked in it. She finally got it properly by about 3 and was dry at night by about 4.5. She now has a huge bladder capacity, but it was hell at the start.

With DS, I decided to leave it as long as possible having been traumatised by his sister. However at exactly 2y3m he found a pair of big boys pants (that id bought previously)put them on and immediately refused to ever wear a nappy in the day again. There were a few accidents of course, but he is not yet 3 still and is completely dry, day AND night. He was just ready and it was soooo much easier.

Certainly don't worry about being dry at night. 10% of 5 year olds are not dry at night and 5% of 10 year olds, which is a lot I think! Apparently its a hormone that suddenly gets released and that can happen at any age.

My advice - sit back, don't think about it (but do have a potty available so they can get used to it and play) and one day they will suddenly get it and want to try.

oh- and stocking up on lots and lots of big packets nappies during some supermarket promotion will guarantee they then do what my son did and leave you with lots of unwanted nappies.