Toilet training?

[EllenandBump]

When do i start toilet training and what do i need to do it? My son is 18months and i am not sure, he is my first, mum said i was dry night and day by 14months. eek. x

I am a CM and have cared for LOADS of children. Most are fully trained around age 3. The youngest (by far) was 14 months - no wetting, fully trained (!) and the oldest was just (only just) before he started school. They are all different. There seems to be a bit of an urban myth circulating amongst my toddler mindees at the moment that when they are 3, they won't need nappies any more .

We have been trying to potty train DS1 [2.9] for about 7 months on and off now with NO success - he has never gotten a poo or wee in the potty.

He has periods of being interested and motivated, wants the potty stories read to him and takes himself off to the potty quite willingly when I suggest a wee or a poo and help him take his pants off.

But I think he is now discouraged and bored by the whole process [and perhaps we are too!]. Now he is showing resistance to using the potty or toilet and is asking for nappies rather than big boy pants.

So I am considering backing off again and restarting in a month or so.

However I also feel pressured. All my friends seem to have potty trained their children, some with minimal fuss and bother.
My mother says she potty trained me and my brother before the age of 2.

So what am I doing wrong?

What's the secret HSMM???

Every child is different. DS wasn't out of nappies at night until 4 (okay during day at 3) but DD is 20 months and fully toilet trained. There was definitely an element of copying everyone else going on, but she just got it. DS just didn't.

Apparently back in our day we were all potty-trained by 1. Large doses of memory loss and manipulation of the truth there I suspect, along with heavy-handed parenting techniques. FWIW I was still wetting and unreliable at 6, can remember having an accident at primary school (very very very embarrassing) despite being "potty-trained" at 12 months.

My older three children followed in similar vein- none especially reliable until ridiculously late (came home from school smelling of wee until 8-9). I waited until 2 with each of them (apart from DD1 who trained herself during chicken pox (loads of spots on bottom) at 15 mo and then regressed a year later.

With DD3 have waited. She is now 2 and 4 months and only just beginning to show signs of wanting to be clean. Has just started objecting to dirty nappies. Her boy cousin 2 months younger appears aware that he is about to pee- mine still finds a it complete surprise when she widdles on her feet.

In retrospect it would have been so much easier to wait with the others until they actually objected to being dirty. Cannot think that DD3 will be out of nappies till the summer to be honest- ie nearly 3.

I agree with some posters - taking a baby to the loo every 3 hours is not toilet training. By that standard I too was one of the toilet prodigy category - trained at 5 months.
Have an 18 mo who has been sitting on the potty each morning since he turned 1. We sit and play after morning milk. In the past 2 months he has been doing a poo in the potty. So he is poo trained. And I shall wait for summer and he will be 2 for pee training. He likes his potty and will sit for 10-15 mins without moaning.
Hth

Not really MaMattoo. but thanks anyway!

I didn't potty train either of mine as such. Waited until summer with both, left nappies off and left the potty around. Neither of mine liked the potty but would use the toilet. Somebody suggested putting a cork in the toilet for boys and making aiming for the cork a game - which I thought was a good idea and both my boys liked it. I encouraged dh to take the boys to the toilet when he went so they could see what they were supposed to do. Having said all that ds1 was dry day and night by 2 and a half. DS2 can't remember by day but definitely by the time he started school but wasn't dry of a night until he was nearly 7 and still has 'accidents'.

I would just play it by ear with ear child being different. Don't stress if it doesn't work, you rarely see 10 year olds running around in nappies without good reason

We're just starting to train DS, who is nearly 22 months. But we live in Belgium, where kids start maternelle (pre-school) at age 2 1/2 where they have to be "dry" in the day before they can start. So, most people here start to potty train at around age 2. We have another DC due in May, so would ideally like to get DS trained before then. At the moment we're taking it slowly - getting him to say when he wants to do a poo, and sitting him on the potty at bathtime, etc to get him used to it.

I think our parents potty trained earlier because they were using cloth nappies and babies didn't like the sensation of a wet nappy, so it was a bit easier...

Our DD is coming up 2 and although she shows a great deal of interest in the potty and knows what it is for she has, as yet, refused to do anything in it. We use cloth.
I think that our parents' definition of potty trained actually meant "catching" it a lot of times because they sat children on the potty all the time and clearing up a lot of accidents. That's not potty trained IMO - potty trained to me means identifying when you need to wee/poo and asking to use the potty/loo accordingly. I would rather wait until she is ready for this stage than spending hours cleaning up accidents

In response to the poster that said "it's all down to the washing of nappies" - sticking the terries in the washing machine is a lot easier than trying to get wee out of the carpet all the time.

OhDearNigel A year ago I would have completely agreed with you. I though MIL was loopy putting DD on the potty at nappy changes when she was looking after her as I didn't see the point of starting "before the child is ready". However, having seen how the nurseries here and friends have tackled toilet training, I would probably choose to start much earlier if I have another child.

My experience with DD has not meant lots of wee on the carpet/floor. Although I took her out of nappies before she starting announcing the need to wee, she was accident-free most days from the start, simply by taking her regularly and watching her body language. She was, however, already able to wee on cue on the potty thanks to the nursery training.

Accidents in any case are almost always completely contained within her pants and trousers, so I only have had to wipe up puddles when she has been wearing tights. I can't actually remember the last full-on accident she had anyway, she sometimes dribbles a bit when she doesn't want to acknowledge the need to go and then waits to do the rest on the potty/toilet. I can imagine, though, the amount a child wees differs a lot from child to child and that summer clothes wouldn't soak up as much as winter ones.

Several posters seem quite scathing about taking the child regularly to the loo. I just want to point out that, even with a completely reliably trained child, you still end up encouraging them to use the loo before car journeys, before going out, before bed, etc.

Do you know what the most annoying thing is?

DD WAS in cloth nappies until she was 18mths when I had to switch to disposables as we were having damp problems with our house (long story - not usually a problem I'm sure!) so she failed to get any of the knowing you're wet benefit!

No secret ... just waiting til the child's ready, but peer pressure can be extremely helpful ...

I don't think the age of potty training has changed as much as people say it has - grannies often say their children were out of nappies by 14 months but there are often photos of 2 year olds in terry nappies that contradict this. Also there are very few NT children over 4 year olds in day time nappies despite all the media coverage about the phenomenon. I have one SN ds who toilet trained at 4 with a lot of difficulty and a lot of washing. The other NT ds toilet trained in 3 days when he was 2.10. I could have started earlier with the NT ds, and he was the last in his nursery class to be out of nappies - but I just put it off until it could be done without months of endless pfaffing with potties and washing etc. We just used a basic toilet seat and underpants rather than pull ups - which are a total waste of time and money as they are just the same as nappies !