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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Irish Twins -any advice on coping?

58 replies

minesarioja · 06/01/2012 21:39

Ok, well 14 months is what it's going to be. I posted something last week but only got a handful of replies. Either it's so horrendous that nobody wants me to know the truth or... well, what's it like? I'm due on the 15th Jan and have a very active 14mo boy who has started climbing onto high precarious objects, never sits still and thinks toys are for losers. He'd rather have a high voltage socket and wires to play with. So the idea of feeding quietly and going for long walks to help NB sleep is out of the question. Any counselling advice gratefully received. I have no family nearby and DH at work 0800-1900...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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pranma · 06/01/2012 21:50

What is the significance of the 'irish'?I think you will have your hands very full indeed and will need to talk to your HV to see what help is available.I think CBeebies may be your new best friend!Good Luck :)

oooggs · 06/01/2012 21:53

You will be busy. But I thought Irish twins were siblings who were not twins but born in the same school year. There are two children in year 2 at our school with one born in October and the other one born in August and they are in the same class.

lborolass · 06/01/2012 21:53

I'd suggest you try and get into a routine with both children as soon as you can and if possible try to get them to both nap at lunchtime so you have a bit of time to yourself and to catch up.

Try and walk everyday, maybe to a park where the 14mth old can play and you can leave the baby in the pram.

And expect people to pick you up on the use of Irish twins, it doesn't seem to be a phrase posters on here like

cheesesarnie · 06/01/2012 21:54

i dont understand 'irish twins'?

theseventhdwarf · 06/01/2012 21:55

i have a pal who has a similar age gap, it was a little manic and hair raising at times for the first few months (things like sleep deprivation and trying to manage two kids with immediate needs at one time, but they are fantastic pals and play together really well now (age 3 and 4 ) - they really are bessie mates.. and very very cute. She also had some help with house work regularly for the first while (like a cleaner twice or three times a week i think ... cleaner used also take one baby or toddelr for a walk too )
Good luck it ll be lovely!

theseventhdwarf · 06/01/2012 21:56

ha ha being irish i understand the 'irish twins' .. wonder where it came from real;lyt ho

NewYearEverything · 06/01/2012 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fivegomadindorset · 06/01/2012 21:57

They are not Irish twins.

oooggs · 06/01/2012 21:59

Just looked it up and the term came about to mock the fertility of the Irish Catholics and means children born within 12 mths of each other and share at least one parent!

lborolass · 06/01/2012 22:12

I knew it, 9 replies and 7 of them are about the use of Irish twins, the OP's looking for help and support not nitpicking.

cheesesarnie · 06/01/2012 22:17

i only asked.didnt know what it was!

GwendolineMaryLacey · 06/01/2012 22:20

So you can use any term you like as long as you're 'looking for support'? Can we apply that to all derogatory terms then?

icapturethecastle · 06/01/2012 22:26

She does say "OK well 14 months" I think she is aware they are not really Irish Twins.

You will be ok - 14 months he will still hopefully be napping (make him nap). Longs walk would be good to wear him out so both will be sleeping in the buggy on the way back. Get a good sling so you cradle baby and your are hands free so you can play.

Good luck.

UsedToBikeAndRunAndSki · 06/01/2012 22:27

I know a lady who is having a planned c section soon, and will have 44 weeks between her DC.

Moominsarescary · 06/01/2012 22:30

What's so derogatory about it? My children's age gap was refered to as Irish twins by the Irish side of the family

Irish twins, siblings born less than a year apart, my family said the term was coined when family's had quite a way to go to register the birth, if you didn't have time to go and register the birth before falling pregnant again, you'd leave it and register them both at once.

Op I'm told organisation is a good thing and routine helps, also it gets easier after the first year

fiodyl · 06/01/2012 22:32

I've got some proper 'irish twins' born 49 weeks apart, though not both in the same year at school. TBH the first year or so with both of them passed in a bit of a blur of feeding and nappy changes, but if I got through you can too.
I think having the elder child in a routine helped, then just fitting the new baby into it as he didn't know any different! Also going out seemed like a huge mission but its actually not that bad after a few practise runs. I went to a couple of mum n baby/playgroups or the local park as routine every week and it was so good to be with other adults rather than permanently surrounded by baby chaos. Also I gave up going shopping and ordered online only-extra deliver costs worth it for less stress plus it makes you plan meals and save money that way.

Moominsarescary · 06/01/2012 22:34

I would have had 47 weeks difference at the most, although ds3 was born at 32 weeks so it could have been less. Unfortunately I lost the baby at 20 weeks

stleger · 06/01/2012 22:52

In reply to the OP... I had a 20 month gap, ds was a climber, but dd1 was a 'eat, smile, sleep' dream baby. So cross your fingers! And I think she was more relaxed as I knew what I was doing, if that makes sense. As an Irish person... we had a friend, and academic who had Irish twins...and then decided it would be nice to try for a second set within an academic year. That didn't happen though .

BeerTricksP0tter · 06/01/2012 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cheesesarnie · 06/01/2012 22:56

moomin

my eldest are 1 year 5 days apart.i found that soooo much easier than when i had youngest 4ish years later.didnt know what to do with just him!

Moominsarescary · 06/01/2012 22:58

I've got 8 years between each of my 3, it was like starting all over again

FlipFantasia · 07/01/2012 08:47

Irish twins is a derogatory term - I find it offensive (and yes, I am one - 4 days under a year between myself and my younger sister, and we're the 5th & 6th children in the family - so exactly the kind of rampant Catholic fertility the term is designed to mock). I've only ever found it used by British people, and was totally shocked when I first heard it when working in London. I don't think it's acceptable just because someone is looking for support.

OP it must seem scary but you'll be grand. I'd recommend a sling - I found it a godsend with my son, allows you to have your hands free and to walk around, or chase after a toddler, as much as you like. I'll have 2 years between my two when this one arrives and am planning to use my close sling and the ergo with the new born insert as much as possible! I was chatting with a friend over Christmas who has 14 months (intentionally) between her two. She loves it, though says that inevitably the 2nd gets less one-on-one attention (though I reckon this is probably true with any gap!). She does recommend using some childcare if you can though, as having her older DC at nursery for 2.5 days a week helped her to focus on the newborn. She was back to work with 4 months with both of them btw. Good luck!

PosieParker · 07/01/2012 08:51

I honestly thought you were Irish and having twins . I had a fourteen month age gap and I found it a breeze, cue two perfect sleepers and a boy that would play. Needs must, you have a week or so to make your house safe. Stairgates on kitchen door, socket protectors, loo seat protectors....you will need to have activities ready, I used to look at books whilst I fed my baby. Towers are an endless source of joy. DS1 also had lots of rules....

toddlerama · 07/01/2012 08:58

Mine are 15 months apart. It really isn't bad at all! Get the older in a good routine so that you always know when the next quiet period is coming and child proof your house rigidly. Then enjoy! Mine are 3 and 4 now and best friends. I'm pregnant with number 3 and I feel a bit sorry for this baby that they won't have such a close in age sibling. It really is lovely!

PosieParker · 07/01/2012 09:06

yeah, mine were best friends at 3 & 4....now at 8 & 9 they're a nightmare!!!! -just saying!!

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