Irish Twins -any advice on coping?

[minesarioja]

Ok, well 14 months is what it's going to be. I posted something last week but only got a handful of replies. Either it's so horrendous that nobody wants me to know the truth or... well, what's it like? I'm due on the 15th Jan and have a very active 14mo boy who has started climbing onto high precarious objects, never sits still and thinks toys are for losers. He'd rather have a high voltage socket and wires to play with. So the idea of feeding quietly and going for long walks to help NB sleep is out of the question. Any counselling advice gratefully received. I have no family nearby and DH at work 0800-1900...

No experience here but could you afford to start your 14 month old in nursery for a couple of sessions a week to give you time with the baby and give him some time and space to rampage! Depending on how things go at the beginning you could maybe get a friend/temp nanny to look after the older one for a couple of hours a day?

I had a 17 month then 20 month gap. Not as close but still busy. My advice would be get a sling.
My slings and cosleeping were lifesavers.

I also found that for me (really depends on the person) no routine worked best. Not having to be anywhere or do anything at a particular time.

It's lovely to start with but manic when they are both toddlers/pre-schoolers.

Some days I'm pleased to have survived, others I think of having another one

I had 19 months gap. They're adorable together now.

You need a phil and teds and to find a good 10am playgroup within easy walking distance. Then forget fun and creative - and buckle down to plough you furrow every day.

Wake - deal with bodily needs - get them out the house to give older dc an you a break from the pressure of the baby, home for lunch, compulsory nap for everyone - then just hold on and make it to bedtime.

Meal planning is a big help. I'd make sure to make a solid start every morning, with slow cooker set off and an easy lunch lined up. Laundry and tumbly first thing every day too. Then the rest of the day you can just deal with dc.

After our twins we had ds3 20 mths later. Would have been a 16mth age gap but miscarried.

3 under 2 is all about routine you will get by

I smiled at Irish twins,and as an Irish person dont find it offensive at all.its just a mildly humorous term for two siblings born within a year, I can't see it as derogatory at all,neither does my Irish catholic husband. I'd say you are going to have your hands full though!

It's the OP here again with 5am contractions! Re the post title I'm actually Irish and with a Catholic education myself and don't find the term 'Irish Twins' offensive. Of course it dates back to Catholicism & contraception issues- many of my aunts had tiny age gaps, and with at least 4 kid,s were worn out. But I do apologise if I've offended other posters here
Thanks so much for all your great advice & tips. Certainly, fitting NB into toddler's routine; park trips, sling & cleaner sound like the things I need to focus on. We are quite organized as a couple so let's hope that pays off. Cheers folks!

Ps what slings do people recommend? We had a Tomy front carrier thing for DS1 but it was a bit tight when he had his snowsuit on underneath and he howled till he fell asleep in it. Kinda put me off using it and it seemed more designed for outdoor walks etc. But maybe it's worth getting out of the cupboard again.

Good luck with the contractions!
Regarding the sling, I wouldn't get the tomy one out again sorry! It's not the sort of sling that will be comfy (for you or baby) for wearing regularly. Have a look at close slings. They are lovely and soft and very supportive for the first few months.
My sister has 2 dc 10 months apart! Proper Irish twins! It was busy in the beginning and she had a lot of carrying about as the first one wasn't walking when the second was born, but she basically fit the baby in with the older child's routine and then on e they hit a year old they played together and are great mates!
One tip is to go with the mind set that you have two babies to look after and treat then as such rather than expecting your first to be more grown up than he is capable of because he suddenly looks so much bigger compared to the newborn!
Good luck!

Only time I ever heard the term was in the States.

As mentioned, sling, cleaner, plus -- rigorous childproofing including if necessary removal of furniture that is truly dangerous until the toddler grows out of the scary climbing phase, other childproofing such as locks for toilet, kitchen cupboards, bathroom cupboards, gates on stairs, socket covers, oven ring guards. Also grocery delivery, a play area for your toddler that features sand and another for water if at all possible (supervised at all times), some sort of climbing thingy in your garden if you can afford it/have a garden.

I like Catsu's advice about expectations of the older child. A former neighbour had a boy and a girl 16 months apart and realised she had expectations of the boy that were unrealistic. She found after the initial madness that a small gap worked fabulously. They were at the same stage and enjoyed much the same toys and activities throughout their childhoods, joined the same activities and teams for the most part, and got along really well. The mother never had to worry about one getting bored at some outing the other loved. When they were teens they looked out for each other and were always very close.

I use a Close baby sling which we both find comfortable :)

I m irish living in Dublin - know a few couples with 'Irish twins ' which is why I posted earlier - was musing aloud about the roots of the saying really. It s commonly used here too - I ve never heard anyone take offence ... And it s not used in derogatory way. Silly to be getting het up about it for heaven s sake.

In your opinion? I'm Irish, have never heard the term used commonly in Ireland and, out of interest did a straw poll the other day and family were seriously unimpressed with the term. So not really for you to decide who gets het up. And we're not so far from Dublin as it happens.

The positive advice is fab, thanks. I'll look at close slings. We have proofed our house too. I hope they do get on when they're older. Ironically my dad and his sister are 13m apart and fight like cats but we'll try and work at some harmony in our family.
Still contracting boringly at 20 mins apart. Don't tell me it's gonna die out now! So unfair! I know I'm a week early but 'twas rather tantalizing to feel the end in sight after being preggers for almost 2 yrs. Isn't that what elephants do? Only their sprogs can walk and sort themselves out when they're born..

Ooh good luck I hope it does keep on going for you! I have 11 months between my DC and I won't lie, it was hard work. That was down to DD ( te younger one) being incredibly clingy, and strange with others, even her dad.

I had a sling and buggy for the first few months, then changed to a double buggy.

They are now 5 and 6 and very good friends, even though they do fight like cat and dog on occasion. I wouldn't have it any other way now

I know a lady who managed this 3 years running (4 singleton babies in less than 3.5 years). Just take it easy, is my advice.

I first heard the phrase Irish twins in Angela's Ashes... I think it's only derogatory if you want to hear it that way.

I'm Irish, living in Kildare, from Dublin. Irish twins is a very, very well-known phrase for children born close together. Mostly used by the parents of said children!

Have never heard of anyone being in anyway offended, it's always used in a light-hearted manner ...

Give the OP a break, I think she has more pressing things to be worried about.

Btw OP my sister-in-law had irish twins (and had a 7yr & 9yr od to handle too) there's no getting round it - the first 3 months will be hard work. She said routine was what saved her. I think you just have to accept that your days will revolve around their naps, mealtimes, feeds etc. But this will be for a relatively short time

We had twins (not Irish) and had a travel cot with a bassinette in the living room for their daytime naps, which meant I could leave the babies sleeping downstairs and nip to the loo without worrying that my older 2 would 'help' me by picking them up etc. Had lots of stairgates so toddler was contained in a safe room - lots of colouring/aquadraw/stickers/books for the toddler to look at whilst I fed the babies. Box of goodies came out then too with new books/snacks/small toy that was a novelty each time. It does get easier, babies fit into older childs routine - good luck

We should talk up the plus sides of having them close together, there are many. Sharing clothes & nappies & similar interests for a start. Not worrying about DC1's toys being totally unsuitable for DC2 to get near. Getting your own life back sooner. Definitely not all bads.

Good luck, OP! My DH and his sister are 12 months and 9 days apart, so almost Irish Twins, though I've never heard the term before. It'll be great once the initial exhaustion has worn off - as lljkk says, the toys will be the same, you'll be able to maximise childcare if you use it and you'll be able to return to non-baby life (if you plan to...!) sooner.

Slings - I didn't use one with DS1 much, but with DS2 (DS1 was 2.10 when he was born) I used a whole range. I found a simple stretchy wrap (you tie it on first and pop the baby in) best for the first few months. You can pick them up (KariMe or Moby are great) on ebay. Ringslings are good if you can get on with them, and more structured carriers like Becos or Ergos are fab later on and when you want to put a baby on your back.

Hey there-hope baby popped out swiftly and painlessly (aye right!!) by now and you all cosied up with them.

I had 3 under 3- my last 2 were 14 months apart and I agree with most other folk-routine, getting good at cooking ahead/freezing/gettinga washing on with your first coffee of the day etc and having a sling (ergo has been the best I have bought and I tried a few!) saved me from insanity ... I think! So much depends I guess on your new wee babe's personality and your wee toddlers as to how smooth the ride will be, but I also found co-sleeping maximised my rest-but that's such a personal choice. And lastly-deciding a cleaner was well worth £30 a week!!! I honestly don't know where I'd find the time to do anything other than the basic cook/kitchen clean/daily wash/quick lavvy wipe of my delightful 4yr old boy's projectile pish...:-).

Best of luck, and on the bad days I simply remind myself I am just 'concentrating' all the difficult early bits and will reap the rewards later...I think???????

X

Am Irish, Catholic, mother of three children born in four years.I don't like the term, some anti Irish sentiment about tonight