sharing toys.....or not sharing as the case may be!!

[zephyrcat]

DD is just 4, ds is 18 months. They both love each others toys. DD will sit and play on ds's car mat with his cars and garage and they play together nicely.

If DD switches her keyboard on, ds rushes over to play with her and join in singing into the mic etc but dd gets really stroppy and is either nasty to him or switches it off...same with her dolls pram - ds loves to push it around with her but she will go too fast to he falls over. I've just told her off for the latter and taken the pram away.

On the one hand I understand that she is getting more independant now and needs her own things to be just hers... but I also want her to understand that ds lets her play with him and his things so it's nice for her to share with him.....

Is it possible to find a balance or is it tears and tantrums all the way from now on??!

You have my sympathy. DD1 is 2.9 months and DD2 is 9 months. DD2 will let DD1 play with her things because she has no say in it. DD1 however thinks that just because she says she'd like to share with DD2, that that means she can just take it. I've tried to introduce taking turns with both their toys but it doesn't work at the moment because again as soon as DD1 wants something she says 'my turn' and off it goes. If DD2 touches anything whether its being used or not, DD1 promptly starts to cry and says my turn. I sit down with blocks and things that we can all play with, but DD1 gets very 'into' building something and DD2 comes along and wrecks it, then I understand why DD1 is unhappy etc. So frustrating. I think it might be because DD1 doesn't mix with other kids much. No car, live out of a village etc, so we're trying to get her into nursery for a couple of pm's per week so that she can get used to other children and learn how they play together etc. I sometimes think DD1 does it for some attention, or perhaps she just likes to tease DD2, but i'm not sure. I'll be keeping an eye on this thread to see what advice is given.