8 year old boys keeps on stealing my money

[gillmo]

Plase help me I am my wits end with my 8 year old he has been stealing money from my purse for a few months now, I thought it had stopped but last weekend I found £10.00 missing while he was at his Dads I did not say anything the Monday after school when after a long talk with him he admitted he had gone down my local shop with it to buy some sweets as we did not have the sweets he wanted in the house. (he was out plaing with the neighbours children). I was in such a state I went and spoke to his teacher & she said the will talk with him and carry out any punishment I feel fit for school which is no playtimes, I also took his t.v out of his room & grounded him & told his dad & grandparents who had a talk with him.

I thought this was the end of it as his teacher told me that when they had spoke with him at school he was very remorseful & they have never seen him so quite but tonight while I was on the phone to my bank he went out my eldest found him down the shop & brought him back with the sweets he had bought, I then took him back to the shop & asked them for my money back & gave them the rest of the sweets he had bought and asked them not to serve him again if he comes in they gave me my money back & said they would not serve him again but do I also involve the police or just gound him for the half term next week which does not seen to have worked up to now, have no idea where to go from here please help.

Not sure why you involved the school.

If it was my son, I think I would not let him out until he had worked to pay back every penny and everytime he took anything, he would have to work to pay me back. I would also not be buying him anything other than necessities until I believed he had stopped.

If this had stayed as a few occasions fine. It is very common and just one of those stages.

As not I think you need to look at why he is stealing. Does he get some pocket money for example? I think its important for dcs this age to have some money they have control over. Is he feeling he isn't getting enough positive attention - stealing money from parents can be a common action for kids that feel they are getting little attention or their sibling is getting more attention - doesn't matter if you think its not true, its how he sees things that will influence him.

Is he being bullied for money or sweets or trying to buy friendship through sweets? Is he hungry and needs more snacks? Does he never or rarely get sweets and feels hard done by in comparison to his friends?

I don't think you should involve the police. But if you don't give him any pocket money,start giving him a bit and let him spend it on what he wants.

Maybe sit down with him and explain how disappointed with him you are as he is normally such a good boy. And ask him why he is stealing. Just very gentle probing followed by long pauses to give him time to answer. And then look at what he tells you.

imo behaviour like this, if your dc is normally well behaved, will have an underlying reason. It may seem a trivial reason to you, but may be important to him.