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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is 20 months too young for a bed?

22 replies

headfairy · 17/10/2011 20:02

dd has a single bed in her room as well as her cot... It's usually made up with duvet, pillows etc with lots of teddies sitting on top of it. There's a fold up bed frame on it too. Recently she's been much happier going to sleep in the bed rather than her cot. She's usually in her sleeping bag too. Should I take her out of her sleeping bag or strip the bed down. She usually falls asleep on top of the duvet. Should I just get rid of all the bedding or take dd out of the sleeping bag and let her sleep under the duvet?

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carve133 · 17/10/2011 20:09

Not too young at all. DS was in a toddler bed at 23 months because he climbed out of the cot but with hindsight I wish we'd done it sooner as he'd been awkward about his cot for a while (well, since birth really....). He has slept so much better in a bed. Let her have the duvet, she'll figure it out. HTH

Original poster

headfairy · 17/10/2011 20:11

I'm a bit nervous that if she's not pinned in with a sleeping bag she'll get out of bed in the middle of the night (she's not a brilliant sleeper) and wander around the house. I was really nervous ds would do it when we first moved him in to a bed at 2.8, but he was old enough to understand. He did do a few night time wanderings but we had some talks and it was all sorted. I think dd's a bit too young to understand that she can't just get up and wander around in the middle of the night.

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oyuoyu · 17/10/2011 20:15

Gosh no. Mine were both in beds by 12 months. They were both climbers so the safest thing was a bed.

oopsdeadagain · 17/10/2011 20:19

We moved DD to a bed at 20 months, we looped a bundle of little tinkly bells over her door handle so if she opened her door it would drop and wake us up.

BertieBotts · 17/10/2011 20:24

Just put a stairgate on the top of the stairs - if she does get up, there's not much she'd get up to in the dark anyway. Or tell her if she wakes up and can't get back to sleep she can come and get you? (quietly!)

I think tinkly bells would be a false sense of security, as if they did drop off, you'd probably wake to that sound but not hear it, IYSWIM. So you'd probably just go back to sleep again. It needs to be a prolonged noise if it's going to wake you up and make you take notice.

Original poster

headfairy · 17/10/2011 20:29

Bertie the whole point is that she doesn't come and wake me :o She's taken a long time to get to the stage where she can just about go back to sleep if she wakes up at night.

We do have a stairgate at the top of the stairs, we'll have to leave it closed at night I guess.

So does everyone take their dcs out of sleeping bags as soon as they go in to a big bed?

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starfishmummy · 17/10/2011 20:33

If you don't want her wandering around at night then put the stairgate across the bedroom doorway.

BertieBotts · 17/10/2011 20:34

Ah okay

BertieBotts · 17/10/2011 20:35

FWIW when I moved DS to a bed (from cosleeping so slightly different setup) he was more unsettled at first (not sure this happens if moving from a cot in own room - it's a smaller jump) and did used to come in and climb in with me, probably more than he had been waking, but it only lasted a few weeks and then he started sleeping through, so he didn't wake me at all.

ilovedjasondonovan · 17/10/2011 20:38

19 months and 22 months here for my DDs. Never a problem.

FessaEst · 17/10/2011 20:48

DD1 went into a bed at 14/15 month iirc. She showed signs of scaling the cot sides, so we converted to the junior bed. She hasn't worn sleeping bags since about 8 months, she wore those fleece oversuits instead as she slept better in them. We moved up to a duvet at about 19 months, and it has taken her a bit of getting used to.

We have a stairgate across her door that is kept shut at night. We sometimes find odd toys etc in her bed in the morning, but she tends not to wake us up. If she wants us in the night she cries from her bed, and only comes to the door in the morning.

brawhen · 17/10/2011 20:56

DS2 protested about his cot loudly from about 5 months. Both at bedtime and (worse) in the middle of the night. Eventually, at about 9/10 months we let him go to bed in the bed in his room, which is what he wanted to do. He remained a crap sleeper for nearly 2 further years, but at least there was much less screaming involved.

If you're unsure about the bedding and sleeping bag options - try getting her a fleecy sleepsuit (with legs so safe for walking)? (Boots, Primark, lots of other places do them).

Thingiebob · 17/10/2011 20:57

Ditto the post by FessaEst - exactly the same scenario as my little one.

Only thing I would add is we put the cot mattress next to the bed so if she rolled off she would have a soft landing. She only rolled out of bed a handful of times in the first fortnight and hasn't done since.

Original poster

headfairy · 17/10/2011 21:00

If you put a stair gate at the door, are you able to shut the door? I'm not sure our door frames are large enough. If I leave the door open, I think our cat will jump over the stair gate and end up sleeping on dd's face - I'm not joking, he's obssessed about sleeping in her bed!

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ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 17/10/2011 21:03

She's plenty big enough for a bed. I'd lose the sleeping bag and go to normal bedding. I would see how she goes, but if she starts wandering at night then I'd put the stair gate on her door frame. Don't make a big deal out of it and leave the cot there for a bit - if she does start messing around at bed time just tell her that if she can't be a big girl and stay in bed then she'll have to go back into the babies cot.

carve133 · 17/10/2011 21:05

Re: the getting out thing. DS did this loads the first few nights, partly just exploring the novelty of it all. We put a gate up across the door of his room, so if he got out before going to sleep, we left to room and told him we would come back in once he was in bed. Once he was in bed, he got a nice cuddle. Same if he got up at night, told him we'd come in once he was back in bed (obviously let this one go if he was really upset). Bit of protesting at first but he got this really quickly, about 3 nights I think.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 17/10/2011 21:05

Depends on your door frame, but yes, most of them you can still close.

Does it really matter if the cat sleeps with her? She's big enough to move if he's on her face.

ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 17/10/2011 21:08

LO here didn't get out of bed at all for about 3 weeks. It was funny, we were so prepared for the whole nightmare and it never happened!! After about 3 weeks she started getting out and after a few chats about it we said we would put the cot back in her room if she couldn't stay in bed like a big girl. No problems after that :) The odd patter patter patter to get a cuddly or a book, but straight back in

Original poster

headfairy · 17/10/2011 21:08

chippingin I don't suppose it matters that much... I'm just a bit nervous about anything to do with her sleeping arrangements because shes' been such a shit sleeper. I've been bribing her to sleep with promises that if she's a really good girl and shows me how well she can sleep at night with no crying at all one day she can share a room with her ds. It's very cute, as she's drifting off to sleep she whispers "share ... sleep..."

This might have to become part of the bribery routine :o

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ChippingInToThePumpkinLantern · 17/10/2011 21:17

I understand.- anything that risks disturbing a child with sleep issues makes most people nervous!!

She sounds really really cute!

How does DS feel about this sharing malarky??

Original poster

headfairy · 17/10/2011 21:19

He's quite keen too particularly because he'll get a bigger bedroom. I will double check when it becomes more of a reality. He's got a bit of a habit of being enthusiastic about things and then changing his mind.

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carve133 · 17/10/2011 22:13

Headfairy: DS was also a totally shite sleeper. I dreaded putting him in a bed because of this. But since being in a bed he has been really good and actually started sleeping through more regularly, which he never really did consistently before. I wished I'd done it sooner! It might be his age (I've heard of quite a few kids who don't really sleep through until at least 2), but he does seem much happier to go to bed now. I'm sure your DD will be fine

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