Help - DD's bodyclock is still totally reversed

[PinkFondantFancy]

DD is almost 3 weeks old. Despite following the HV's advice on how to get her back on track (daytimes bright, go out for walks, start feeds every 3 hours or less, nighttime dark, less talk with her, settle back to basket after each feed etc) there is absolutely no difference in her behaviour. She is totally wired from 10pm until 8am every day and just won't settle. HV tells me to hang in there as she will eventually twig. In the meantime I get v little sleep as there's no sleep at night and snatched half hours here and there during the day. I know its early days but I just can't keep this up, I'm exhausted and instead of enjoying my DD I spend all my time willing her to sleep :(

Can anyone reassure me that they've been through this and there is in fact any light at the end of the tunnel? None of my NCT group have this problem. I just dont know what to do. In case it's relevant I'm breastfeeding her.

Why can't you sleep the same hours as she does? Or do you have other children?

She takes about an hour to feed. Then by the time she's settled and I've got myself something to eat, gone to loo etc we're down to about a half journey before she starts crying again. Also I've been told to take her out in the pram etc but if I do this, I can't sleep.

Half a journey where? I don't understand. If you have no other children then just sleep when she does. You don't need to follow any pattern or will her to sleep - she's only 3 weeks old.

Journey was supposed to be 'hour' - not sure what phone was doing

Thanks for your advice.

Agreed, if she's your PFB then enjoy the fact you can sleep when she does! Try not to stress. Still take advice of HV with regard to differentiating between night and day - ie keep the room you're in light, have the tv on if you want it on, and when she's awake talk to her etc, dark room, no talking etc in the night but just rest when you can. Have some drinks and snacks by your bed if needs be so you can snack whilst feeding and not need to worry about making food. It will get better and you will start to feel more human!

Good luck

At three weeks this is perfectly normal - ignore any advice about three-hourly feeds (both mine were feeding probably about every hour-and-a-half at this point) and feed every time she starts crying. Apart from anything else, the more you feed her, the stronger her tongue will get and the more efficient her feeds will be! Trying to stretch her between feeds at this point, when your milk needs to be got up and her tongue and mouth need the exercise, is only going to make things trickier in the long run. Give her mouth LOTS of exercise!

It will get better - 5-6 weeks when they start smiling and really seem to be beginning to turn into little people (rather than just a pink bundle that needs to be managed) is pretty good.

Also, your NCT group are probably - ahem - bending the truth somewhat - I never met a group of mothers where at least one wasn't lying about how simple it all was. Join in! Next time you see them, tell them she's sleeping through the night and knows her alphabet.

Thanks all. I've got the opposite problem with feeding to you octavia - she'd go longer than 3 hours and often takes a lot of waking to be ready to feed. It's good to hear other people have had similar issues-it's easy to feel like I'm the only person in the world with a baby that has confused day and night....

Even more reason to make sure you wake regularly for feeds every 3 hours during the day. Even if it means stripping her off to nappy, tickling her feet etc. All feels very cruel but you have to make her feed! You might even need to wake her throughout the feed. Again it will all get easier! Stick with it

Hope you're feeling better, Pink. Just to say a) it does get better and you soon forget the hideous early weeks (I'm at week 17 with DD1), b) not everyone wants to sleep when baby does, eat snack food whilst feeding baby rather than having proper meals. To me this would be the quickest route to insanity, and it was very important to try to sit down with my OH for dinner, to do other stuff during the day (see people, have shower, hoover, read book - chores and stuff for pleasure) so as not to feel totally at sea. Everyone's different; you're not a freak for wanting to sleep at night and maintain a semblance of life during the day! Though of course some people can and do adjust everything to baby's pattern and I'm sure this works for them.