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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Are Second Kids Always Easier?

62 replies

NotQuiteCockney · 17/12/2005 19:02

DS1 is 4y3m. DS2 is 1y3m. DS2 is less work. He just carries on and does his own thing all the time. I can get quite a bit done with him underfoot, without having to deal with loads of requests and questions.

Yet I'm sure DS1 was more work at one year than he is now.

Also, whenever I borrow other people's kids, I find only kids to be the hardest work, followed by first children. Second, or better still middle kids are easy!

Is this true for everyone?

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Chandra · 17/12/2005 22:10

If you asked my mum, she would say they are the worst!

Linnet · 17/12/2005 22:16

Dd1 was a great baby, ate, slept, played independantly, did as she was told.

Dd2 is a monster. She does eat and she does sleep but she won't play by herself mind you she is only 18 months so this may come in time, but she climbs and by god does she climb! She pulls her sisters hair, hits her, throws things at her is constantly on the go and she's just generally exhausting. I don't remember dd1 ever being as much work as dd2. She even tells lies! Honestly she did something the other day and then blamed her sister. I asked her who had done this and she said xxx (dd1's name)

She is going to be a defiant little madam when she's older. She will touch the radiator to see if it's hot and then tells us that it is, even though she's been told a million times not to touch it because it's hot I don't think she believes us and wants to check for herself but she doesn't do it just the once no she does it over and over again.

Yes it's going to be interesting bringing this baby up, wouldn't be without her though

Alipiggie · 17/12/2005 22:21

DS2, although model baby is now 2 and half going on 32 and thinks he can do everything ds1, almost 4 does. Help. He has mine and dh's stubborness combined. Boy are those terrible twos good. But that said he amuses himself and is far more independent than ds1 was at that age. Think I'm far more laid back about motherhood this time around though.

Jasnem · 17/12/2005 22:24

There is a 15 month gap between DDs1&2 - I thought I was doing something right, when in reality DD1 was just an easy baby. DD2 was a big shock.
I am pg with no 3 now, but there will be 5years between DD2 and this one!

I would have to admit though that DD2 has a very strong personality, which was hard when she was tiny, but great as she grows up.

crimbocrazydazy · 17/12/2005 22:25

Nope, his birth was harder and has been the hardest ever since. Just a typical boy though, very rough with his big sister.

Rudolphthebluenosedteddy · 17/12/2005 22:31

Swings & roundabouts here!
DS1 was awful for the first 3 months & had horrific colic, however he was a perfect baby from there on & you only had to say "No" once etc.
He has had social & interaction problems as he grew older & is very lazy!
DS2 was a model newborn, but found his lungs from 4mths onwards!
He has climbed from the word go keeps us on our toes, but he is already far more independent than DS1 is now!
I guess I was more laid back with the second though.

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 17/12/2005 22:34

Jessica was and still is a nightmare child.... love her to bits though obviously.

Rebecca - although only 7 weeks old, already sleeps/eats better than Jess ever did, and will sit in her bouncy chair and amuse herself for up to 45 minutes or just put herself to sleep in it.

Jess needed rocked to sleep/fed to sleep every nap/bed time for the first 8 months....

crimbocrazydazy · 17/12/2005 22:36

DD great sleeper and has been since 2, DS still doesn't sleep now and he's 3.6.

nikkie · 18/12/2005 18:47

dd2 plays on her own, dd1 likes attention, but in general dd2 is harder work to do things with as she is so independant and doesn't care what the adults think!

WickedWinterWitch · 18/12/2005 19:16

ds was hard, dd is easy peasy but

a) a big age gap (6yrs) is easy in a lot of ways
b) I am not precious this time, she has to entertain herself/get on with it
c) She's a girl and I think she's easier at 2 than my boy was, lack of testosterone might be a factor!

tegan · 18/12/2005 19:33

I have to disagree dd1 now 7.8 is and always has been an absolute angel but dd2 19 months is a nightmare, she has no attention span and will never do as she is told, I feel like I an continually checking where she is and what she is doing.

MIstletAOU · 18/12/2005 19:49

I would say dd2 is harder work than dd1, but that is down to personality, not naughtiness. She can be very "in your face" unlike dd1 who is very quiet.

Dd2 became a "middle child" 5 months ago - can't say it has intrinsically changed her personality

goldenoldie · 18/12/2005 19:55

Yep - true for me. DS1 is 10 and is still much harder work than my newborn twins..................

fisiltoe · 18/12/2005 20:08

Nope. Ds1 was from the baby marketing board. Sent to lull us into a kind of smug world in which we thought we had the parenting powers to make babies sleep through the night, not touch the hi-fi, do as they were told etc. etc.

Ds2 was then our flash of reality. He was hard hard work as a tiny baby and now at 7 months even though he isn't crawling yet nothing is safe in our house any longer!

bobbybobbobbingalong · 18/12/2005 22:40

Ds is an only and had a horrendous first 6 months - but he had loads of allergies that we didn't realise until around 8 months.

By a year he was a dream and is really easy to have around at nearly 3.

sallyhollyberry · 18/12/2005 22:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Medea · 18/12/2005 23:13

I find dd, 3, much harder than ds, 6--harder at every stage. I think personality must factor in. . .I don't think it's strictly a birth order or gender thing.

CaChristmasLista · 18/12/2005 23:15

DS2 much easier as he will play for ages on his own. Far more independent, I remember DS1 clinging onto my legs and whining constantly even if I tried to get the washing up done for 5 minutes! Think it all depends on their personality, DS1 is still very adult-dependant for his entertainment. At nearly 4 he loves nothing better than 'helping' an adult all day long, and finds it very hard to play with his toys for longer than 10 minutes.

blueshoes · 19/12/2005 13:14

I believe it is individual personality and temperament, foremost

FIMBObellsFimbleAllTheWay · 19/12/2005 13:20

I actually didn't realise just how easy my dd was/is until ds's arrival. If he had been born first I would have been scared to try for another child in case they were worse!!

SnowmAngeliz · 19/12/2005 13:22

I was terrified dd2 would be a monster as dd1 is a breeze.

However, dd2 is pretty good too, eats well, sleeps o.k ish(well in with me anyway), but dd2 is alot less patient and i can see a raging tepmer at times, at 10 months!!!

God help me!!

handlemecarefully · 19/12/2005 13:33

Mine is, but perhaps more a reflection on my growing confidence in parenting rather than 2nd child!

MrsDoesChristmas · 19/12/2005 14:05

I hope so but then I don't know.
Dd was a very easy baby, slept well, weaned really easily, chilled. Now at 20 months is mentally much more difficult. She still sleeps well and eats loads (buddha tummy)- loves fruit, particularly raspberries. However, she constantly demands attention, is into cupboards, defiant, loves running away, tantrummy and prone to whinging. Yet at nursery she's an angel, they say they never hear her cry.
Seems she just saves it for when she comes home.
I have no idea what I am hoping for with number 2 (DS) to be honest ????

ohFennelyeHerbful · 19/12/2005 14:07

dd2 is harder than the first and 3rd children put together. I have two chilled out slackers sandwiching an argumentative whirlwind.

apparently dd2 is just like me. am very proud of her stroppiness. but she's certainly hard work.

puddle · 19/12/2005 14:09

In some ways yes. I think you're mor relaxed and confident generally. But my ds (first) was very easy going and my dd has a very different personality. she is much more assertive and challenging than he was. And she has a wider repertoire of bad behaviour at a younger age - all learnt from her big brother and his friends.

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