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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Clothes/Label Discomfort- Anyone with a child who has simply grown out of it?

19 replies

LizzieMo · 27/09/2011 09:49

My DD is 6 and is hypersensitive to labels/seams/ clothes in genral actually. It is a struggle to get her dressed in the morning. She is generally an anxious child and did not take easily to school, so we believe it all stems from that. We have been referred by GP and are waiting to see someone. However, today, after months of struggle she put her clothes on and went to school with no fuss. First time we have walked down the street without her constantly adjusting her pants and socks. Fair skipped into school and was really happy. My question is- is this a sign that she may just be growing out of it? Are there any parents who have older children who did just that? Grew out of it on their own? The school is strating to suggest that she may have a deeper problem, but am I wrong to be hopeful after today?

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lingle · 27/09/2011 10:28

yes mine both did but it took a while. One now is very confident, one is anxious.

She made a great breakthrough. You are right to feel like celebrating and you should make sure that the school do to.

Original poster

LizzieMo · 27/09/2011 11:29

Thanks Lingle, that gives me some hope!!! I will make a special fuss of her tonight!!!

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lingle · 27/09/2011 11:53

yes do. I guess the ultimate challenge is for her to feel proud of herself as I guess that is the real step on the path towards good self-esteem and hence reduced anxiety.

Pinkseren · 27/09/2011 23:15

I have never grown out of it (am 33 now). I vividly remember my mother chasing me around the garden and having to hold me down to get me to wear a knitted jumper she had made me. I had known without wearing it that the wool would be rough and be uncomfortable. I always had to have tags cut out of clothes and rough areas removed from seams. As an adult I still cut out tags and can only wear cotton or silk clothing as I cannot abide anything else next to my skin. Maybe it is certain fabrics that make her uncomfortable? Also, some tags have a nasty rough plastic edge. Cutting out the tags may be a solution?

RavenVonChaos · 27/09/2011 23:22

oh I still have problem with dd age 6. Sock seams are the devils work. She can't bear to put a pair of jeans on - or anything tight. Shoes are a nightmare as she has to have them done up to a certain tightness. She is not anxious tho and I think its quite normal really - although it gets on my nerves. I just let her choose what to wear. Also she has to have big baggy drawers! bless

Gincognito · 27/09/2011 23:25

I'm 30 and haven't grown out of it, sorry!

Gincognito · 27/09/2011 23:26

Oh yes Pinkseren, I remember so well the dress I had to wear for church with the netting sewn in under the skirt! Or anything made of wool. I itch just thinking about wool.

HansieMom · 28/09/2011 01:32

I'm a grandmother. I hate anything itchy. Cannot abide wool. I give all my clothes an extra rinse. Many tags are annoying. I don't like socks, or tight things. The first time I put on a bra, it felt like a harness and I dreaded having to wear something like that forevermore. Soon as I get home, the bra is off.

I prefer cotton, silk and linen are okay. I bought sheets that are Egyptian cotton and a high thread count and they are so soft. Even my mattress pad is a high thread count and I'm surprised how luxurious that feels even though it is under the sheets.

yawningbear · 28/09/2011 08:14

Oh dear, my DD is exactly like this, although she is only nearly 3. I had thought she would grow out of it but reading some of these posts maybe not! But as Lingle says she made a massive breakthrough yesterday, I hope this morning is the same for you and your DD LizzieMo, I can totally relate to how stressful it can be.

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs · 28/09/2011 08:30

My 10.4 DD has virtaully grown out of this, she had always been super sensitive to seams and labels. She did initially kick off about the shirt that must be done up the the neck and a tie she started wearing this school year, but since she is so thin it sticks out quite a long way so isn't too bad.
I got her a new top and trousers from H+M on Monday, both really soft. She wont' wear them because the trousers aren't leggings and the top has a strange inside .

CMOTdibbler · 28/09/2011 08:43

I'm a lot better than I was, but I remember how awful it was to have labels and things where the neckline touched my neck as a child. Wool and fake fur totally repulsed me.

But at 38, I'd like to spend my life in big pants, leggings, and soft tunics where they don't touch my neck, but I can rationalise my preferences against other considerations, and have free rein with the scissors and fabric conditioner

Original poster

LizzieMo · 28/09/2011 09:40

Thanks for the replies everyone. Today was the second day of getting dressed with no trouble. It is a positive step but I don't want to get too carried away yet!!!
Can I ask the adults who still have a problem now, presumably you have adapted to the problem to be able to live your life, was there anything in particular that helped, and what sort of age did you start to improve? Obviously I cut labels out, but if there is a tiny stub of it left...... She has seamless pants , I wash smalls in gentle wash liquid, she wears her socks inside out so she can't feel the seams....
School uniform is difficult though as she does not have such freedom to chose her clothes...........collar on polo shirt is the current evil.
Sorry I am waffling now, just so relieved that it is not just us!!!

OP posts:

Gincognito · 28/09/2011 09:47

Lizzie it sounds as though you are dealing with it sensitively. The breakthrough for me was being old enough to remove labels, chose fabrics etc as when I was growing up there was much less of a willingness of adults to listen to this kind of complaint. More of a shut up and get on with it attitude! That makes me sound like I grew up in the Edwardian era.

Label stubs are horrible though - perhaps a stitch unpicker would be a good investment? You might also consider sewing a lining into her collars, silk perhaps.

Original poster

LizzieMo · 28/09/2011 11:01

Hi Gin, thanks for the reply. I did go down the 'shut up and get on with it' route at the beginning because I did not realise that it was such a problem. It is hard to tell when they are very small and also reluctant to go to school , it could just have been her trying it on . I appreciate now that it is not her fault.

At the moment I try and distract her at the point her clothes go on. It seems with her that once the clothes have been on for a while they 'settle' and it becomes less annoying and more bearable for her. So I always give her something to do, and then put her clothes on around her & whatever she is doing.. Seems to work at the moment but I realise I can't go on dressing her for ever, she will have to do it herself at some point. Hoping she might have grown out of it by then!!

Silky collars sounds like a good idea in the meantime though!!

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Pinkseren · 28/09/2011 14:45

I agree with the silky collar and stitch unpicker..you really can't leave the tiniest stub of label..makes me squirm just thinking about it. Try to go for cotton clothing. Its nicer against the skin and tend to have smoother seams (all depends on the type of thread they are sewn together with). Lots of things have polyester, but we will know!

The just get on with it approach won't help unless, like my mother you are prepared to pin her down to dress her!!! I remember the aforementioned woolen jumper did 'settle down' but when I got warm in it, the discomfort returned so don't be fooled by this-it didn't cure my hatred of the jumper!

I also hated wearing tights and non cotton clinging items (again the thought of nylon gussets makes me cringe at the thought!!!).

Original poster

LizzieMo · 28/09/2011 15:01

Thanks Pinkseren, I can't pin her down and dress her anyway as she will pull it off as soon as I let go. That's why I am trying to find other ways of doing it. Keeping her distracted means keeping her calm, the more worked up we both are the worse it is.

Jumpers are not too bad- it is the layer directly on the skin that seems to be the problem.

I am not keen on tights myself, but I suppose a necessary evil in the winter. She is quite a girly girl and is not fond of trousers, I am dreading the thought that it might be a really hard winter and she is still insisting on going to school in tiny trainer socks and bare legs- in the snow!!! I'll probably be accused of neglect !!!!

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cottonreels · 28/09/2011 18:57

my dp still hates the feel of wool after being made to waer a wool suit handamade by his grandmother. He had to wear is pjs underneath!

dikkertjedap · 28/09/2011 19:10

M&S has a special school uniform range with very flat seams, no annoying labels, called skinkind or something like that. Only online. Trousers are cotton and very soft.

Original poster

LizzieMo · 28/09/2011 21:44

Thanks, I will check out M & S!!!

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