Expectations for 2yr old

[Baileysismyfriend]

I'm not sure if my expectations of my two year old DS are too low? He doesn't like to be told no by anyone and usually starts crying if he is so this means I pick my battles quite a bit. I let a lot of stuff go but he always told no about important things, not touching the oven, throwing toys etc.

We have just been to a story book time at the library and other children were being made to sit down on the mat and listen but my DS wanted to carry on looking round the books and eventually left the group entirely to do some colouring, I let him do this as I just felt he was too young to be made to sit down and it didnt really matter to me what he was doing as long as he wasnt being disruptive.

I got a couple of 'looks' so just wondered if really I should have made him sit down and join in. What should I be expecting from him???

Nb: He is one of three but the older one is 12 and the toddler stage seems a lifetime ago and the youngest is only 6 weeks.

I have this with my 2.5 yr old. At rhyme time all the others sit with their mummies having a lovely sing song and despite trying everything my DS runs around, sweaty, socks coming off doing completely his own thing :( but I dont think its anything to worry about he is just a very full on little boy. things have got better since I introduced a special cushion that was his to sit on and I could say DS on cushion please, then DS on cushion NOW! If he ignores I then take him out of the room.

It is supposed to be a fun thing for them so I think I kind of meet in the middle im strict when he is being disruptive and let it go a bit when he is not. I feel I cant spend the whole time telling him off :( Also I think thats more disrupting for the other kids.....and all of my friends think its their child at the group thats the nightmarer :)

is it the first time you have been - my DS2 a bit younger - the first couple of times we went to toddler group and they had a sit down bit he just ran around - now he sits and trys to join in - but if he is not being disruptive I wouldn't worry too much, especially if he would have had a tantrum as that would have been a lot more disruptive!

I think a lot of 2 year olds struggle to sit in a group for stories. When my older 2 boys went to playschool at nearly 3, the very experienced staff said that one of the main things they tried to "teach" (most of the time was play) was how to sit in a group, change activity when required etc.

In other words the things that are expected of them in school nursery at 4. The fact that there was a recognised need to develop this behaviour at 3 made me think that my sons (behaved like your DS) were the norm.

As you say he wasn't actually being disruptive so sounds fine to me.

Thanks for the replies, glad it seems to be quite normal for him to behave this way. He is only just two although he is tall so looks about three which is why I think we get some looks when out and he is acting up.

He has just started the twos club at pre school and they have group stories there too which he also won't sit down for but they don't seem to mind at all so I guess they are used to it.

Good luck with dealing with the tall for his age thing - at 3 DS1 got frequent questions about why he wasn't in school...