Hmmm - so, when your child is unwell enough to come home from school, do you insist they stay in their rooms and/or in bed?

[Earlybird]

DD (10) came home from school before lunch today as she was feeling unwell. Either she had a miraculous recovery once she got home, or she simply didn't fancy school today. Or perhaps, a bit of both.

I'm glad she's better, but quite frankly don't think she needed to come home. I don't want to 'punish' her by insisting she stay in her room but also don't want to 'reward' her with a day of telly, computer, etc.

Would you/do you insist they have a quiet day (reading, bed, etc), or do you let them just potter around as if it is a regular weekend (or summer) day?

Yes, in room, in bed, lights off 'resting' for at least 4 hours.

Then if well enough a quiet DVD later.

Only one day off in 6 years

Yes, don't want to make her day at home so lovely that she falls ill again!

The real pain is that I am due to go out tonight, but can't in good conscience take her over to a friends' house if she is unwell (am in a different time zone).

Dd is encouraging me to go anyway, as she is a bit bored and fancies some time to 'play' with her friend.

Can I ask how you firm mothers discipine yourselves when you are off sick from work? Do you allow yourselves to crash on the living room sofa with a DVD and a magazine, or do you insist that it has to be boring books in bed? And would the nature of your complaint make any difference?

When I was off sick (which was rarely) my mum used to do little things to cheer me up, like a bar of chocolate or some grapes, because she felt sorry for me and would have expected a similar treatment herself.

Modern parents seem to have a more punitive approach towards illness.

Does it make any difference if the child wants to go to school but you as a parent have decided they mustn't? Or if they have a recognisably infectious illness which the school does not accept? Do you still have to go out of your way to ensure they have a boring time?

When I was little, I was allowed to lie on the sofa with a blanket when I was poorly, doze and watch tv. And eat rich tea biscuits. I still remember feeling warm and cozy and cared for, while my mum pottered around getting on with her day (SAHM, though - so easier). Come on, guys - have a heart. Feeling ill comes hand in hand with feeling miserable, and we all need a little comfort sometimes. My DDs are not ill much and when they are, are allowed unlimited tv and as many stories as I can muster the energy for - and I try and get a bit of work done in the next room. It hasn't made them long for days off - it's still quite boring.

if my childs ill she will lie on sofa with a blanket plenty of fluids an rest and tv on quietly i dont expect her to go suddlenly play with friends id be cross