HOW does one discipline a 4 year old with probable aspergers/add?

[IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat]

The 'expert' line seems to be that you reason with them gently but if they are completely indifferent to that then surely some kind of punishment is appropriate? eg sending them to their room?

I really know very little about it, I'd be grateful for any input at all.

Thanks.

This is just how it worked in my house, so not an expert.
Keep my temper and my voice low and clear.
Be very consistent in what the sanction is, so you are building up the understanding of if x happens, y is always the consequence.
Make the consequence an immediate one, rather than later or tomorrow.
Keep the language simple and make it clear what the problem is, don't get sidetracked by all the rest of the things that are winding you up.
Try and base the sanction in logic rather than punishment.
'You need time to calm down, so go to your room'
Try and identify what the trigger for the unacceptable behaviour was and see if you can work on removing it, or explaining why to the child.
Mine used to flip at the noise of the kettle, or plug in air fresheners, or people touching his hair.

Extensive reasoning with him often led to him rolling on the floor with his hands over his ears yelling 'NO MORE TALKING! TOO MANY WORDS IN MY HEAD'

'NO MORE TALKING! TOO MANY WORDS IN MY HEAD'

aahhhhh

Your advice is helpful by the way.

Don't shout, if you can possibly help it, because he/she will probably shout back.

We use a visual reminder eg, yellow and red cards to let her know that her behaiour is unacceptable.
and we have posters around the house reminding her of expected behaviour eg. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing. and Respect other eople and their personal space. But Dd3 is nearly 9 so much older than your LO.

We are not able to use time out but we do send her away from things that she enjoys if she is behaving in an unacceptable way.

We have found with Dd3 that if we say you can't do so and so until you have done so and so works really well in certain situations , it does seem rather negative but it works for us.

Try posting on the special needs children board, there are loads more people on there with loads of experience.

Good luck.