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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Can you tell me what your DC's school does when a DC soils themself?

10 replies

purpleturtle · 08/09/2011 15:56

DS2 has come out of school yesterday and today absolutely stinking because he has done a poo in his pants. I'm pretty sure he won't have told anybody that he's done it - he usually denies it when challenged on it - but there's no way that nobody has commented on it. He's in Y1, and didn't do this in Reception, but he started doing this on a fairly regular basis a couple of weeks ago.

When DS1 was in Reception at a different school he soiled himself almost every day, and the poor TA helped him to sort himself out - we kept wipes and a change of clothes in his bag.

I think my concern is that nobody has said anything to me about it. I just can't believe they haven't noticed the smell, and I am wondering how to address the matter with them.

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mumfromspace · 08/09/2011 16:30

I would just call the school, ask to speak to his teacher and ask her/him, if they hadn't noticed it then maybe they will look out for it in future. My DS came back from pre-school with a plastic bag full of his clothes today, he said he was playing so hadn't got time to go to the toilet. Magic! X

midnightexpress · 08/09/2011 16:34

AFAIK, our school phone a parent/carer and get them to come and collect the child. TBH, I don't think many teachers would be too pleased at being asked to change soiled children. It's not like at nursery. If the child has a specific health issue that is causing it, then that might be different, I don't know.

midnightexpress · 08/09/2011 16:35

Sorry, that sounds a bit judgey. Didn't mean it like that. I do think you should discuss it with the school though if it seems to be an ongoing issue for your DS. Do you have any idea why he's suddenly started doing this?

Original poster

purpleturtle · 08/09/2011 16:48

I'm quite happy for them to phone me. I'm less happy about them ignoring the issue.

I can't really get to the bottom of why he's doing it. I wonder whether it's because I told him that once he was 5 (3 weeks ago) he should have a go at wiping himself before we would go and check him? Do you think he perhaps just doesn't want to do that?

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WoofToYouTooLady · 08/09/2011 19:03

perhaps it was right at the end of the school day and (almost can't think this but you know, benefit of the doubt etc) teacher didn't notice

I wonder if he might be constipated - this can present, counter-intuitively as poos in pants. google encopresis and get the GP to check him out

Chundle · 08/09/2011 19:12

My dd is 7 she did this twice when she was ill they told her to go to toilet and clean herself and rang me to collect her

Original poster

purpleturtle · 08/09/2011 19:54

I am aware of the constipation thing, but I don't think it's that - as I mentioned in my OP DS1 was much worse! I don't think it's especially fresh when I get to deal with it either. He is capable of lying to my face about whether he's done it, and I suppose if he denies it when a teacher asks she can hardly do what I do and grab the back of his trousers to have a look!

I'll try and speak to the teacher tomorrow morning.

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midnightexpress · 08/09/2011 20:00

Are the toilets at the school...erm... smelly? There was a mahoosive issue with the boys' toilets at ours - they really stank. The Parent Council had to get on the council's back to do something about it (which they have). But anyway, it probably puts off quite a few children from going at all I suspect - one of my friends has a 13 year-old who still refuses to go at school for that reason.

I guess that if he only started wiping himself a few weeks ago, he might be a bit anxious about doing it by himself - but then what did he do last year if he's in Y1 now?

Original poster

purpleturtle · 08/09/2011 20:12

This is a problem which also exists at home. He is basically refusing to wipe himself. I think his logic is that if he poos in his pants we clean him up and he still doesn't have to do it for himself. Although I am trying to challenge that logic by putting him in the bath and getting him to wash himself.

I have heard no comments good or bad about the toilets at school. But he's not wetting himself, so he must be going.

I know it's just a phase. But it's a very frustrating phase!

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Marne · 08/09/2011 20:16

I would call the school, maybe they had asked him, he denied it so they thought nothing more of it (or thought e had bad wind), i think you need to talk to them and explain that he has started soiling himself and can they keep an eye on him. My dd2 (year 1) has done it a couple times and TA has changed her and cleaned her up. Hopfully the phase passes soon.

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