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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Pooing in knickers for attention

10 replies

KiwiJean · 04/09/2011 19:45

Hello,

My 2.5 year old DD has hit onto some really annoying behaviour, she's started pooing in her knickers! She's been 100% potty trained for about 4 months. She took to it straight away and hasn't had any accidents for ages.

She's a clever wee girl though, and has started to poo in her knickers, for what I think, is attention. She has also started whining and having tantrums (well, she's had one). I've tried ignoring the behaviour and cleaning her up quietly, but to not a lot of joy. I really don't know whether I have the patience to continue to ignore it, I want to take some action to nip this in the bud.

I'm thinking of implementing a sticker reward chart for when she goes in the toilet (something that worked well in the early potty training days), and confiscating a toy for a day when she goes in her knickers.

Any thoughts or ideas? This new shock and awe tactic is working perfectly and pressing my buttons!!

Thank you!

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twotesttickles · 04/09/2011 19:51

Is she constipated. I seriously doubt she's doing it for attention. Maybe she's got urge incontinence because she's bunged up. Have you tried giving her more to drink and some soft fruit?

mercibucket · 04/09/2011 19:52

why do you think she's doing it on purpose? sticker chart might help but definitely not the toy confiscating thing, she's still only a baby poor lamb
the whining and tantrums goes on quite a while I'm afraid!!

seasidesister · 04/09/2011 19:55

My ds did this, I doubt its for attention.

More likely is she is at the age where she is concentrating for longer on play and getting so involved she doesnt want to stop to go to the loo.

Give her regular reminders and reward her. Ignore the accidents, clean up without comment.

fishandlilacs · 04/09/2011 19:57

My dd went through a phase of this at nursery when she was the same age-after much discussion on the strategy to use with the manager they did the withdrawing attention thing.

They simply said "lets get you clean pants" and did the clean up- no eye contact, no big fuss, no oh dear, what happened or uh ho noises. They even encouraged her to try putting her own pants on. It took about 3 weeks to get her back into the good habits but it worked.

Original poster

KiwiJean · 04/09/2011 20:05

I think it's on purpose because she's been able to control her bowels (for poos), for nearly a year. After her brother was born, she went thru a stage of pooing in the bath. This was def. for attention as it stopped as quickly as it started after denying her a lovely shower to clean her up afterwards and using horrible cold wet wipes instead (mean I know, but hey, it worked!).

I think she's started the pooing as a result of my DS being that little bit older, more active and involved in family life.

She isn't constipated, she's still pooing in the toilet as well as her knickers. She will sometimes poo in her knickers shortly after going for a wee on the toilet.

I think the whining and tantrums are another step-up in the attention seeking behaviour!

She is just a baby, but there are no flies on this girl! She's a clever thing, and isn't opposed to doing whatever necessary to make the world the way she wants it! Much like the rest of us really!

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budgieshell · 04/09/2011 20:05

Quick change, no eye contact, no talking. This is very difficult to do but if its attention she wants don't give it to her. If she is upset by having dirt nicks then it's probably not for attention quick cuddle change and move on. A lot depends on the situation if she is very busy and involved with what she is doing she may put it off too long which is common at this age. Children who start well often have set backs don't worry they don't usually last long. Good luck.

mercibucket · 04/09/2011 20:27

if you're sure it isn't anything medical eg constipation or a bit of an upset tummy, then just do as the others suggested, quick change, no attention, no need for sticker chart but also no punishment (another form of attention really)
interesting that she's done this once before - does it really push your buttons?

AnnaThePenguin · 04/09/2011 20:31

My dd did this at just around 4.

I just ignored, cleaned up with as little communication/interaction as possible.

In her case, it was DEFINITELY for attention and when she wasn't getting her own way (it became the ultimate threat - if you don't do xyz mummy I'll poo my pants)

They do grow out of it eventually. but it is helluva wearing in the meantime

She's now 13 and doesn't do this anymore

mumeeee · 05/09/2011 10:28

Tantrums are normal for 2 year olds. The poohing in her knickers might be for attention but is just as likely to just be that she is holding on to long because she doesn't want to stop playing. I would do as others have said just a quick change and clean without any talk or eye contact.

Original poster

KiwiJean · 07/09/2011 20:39

Thanks for all the comments. I've taken the advice on board, this week when any 'accidents' appeared, I took her to the loo and cleaned her up without any chit chat or eye contact, and low, we haven't had any accidents today! It's probably too early to get excited, but very positive nonetheless! We seem to be heading back in the right direction!

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