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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Boys Vs Girls

20 replies

BoysRusxxx · 04/09/2011 18:47

I have two toddler boys and they are just WILD compared to my friends dd of around the same age.

Yesterday my friend came over with her dd for the day and i felt like I was just constantly correcting my boys while her dd was so good. I was mortified . They climbed on the kitchen table, one ran off with another friends iphone and wouldnt say sorry when he dropped it, ds1 pushed ds2 etc etc!

They are just s much more boisterous than her. Is this just a girl vs boy thing or are my boys just brats?!!!

I do discipline them, I swear!!

I know boys have their good points too, Friends dd would be more fiery and have more tantrums etc.

Please tell me its not just my boys that are mad!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ragged · 04/09/2011 18:50

Makes a big difference if your friend has a single DD and you have 2 DSs; they outnumber you... and boy do they know it.

Original poster

BoysRusxxx · 04/09/2011 18:50

Also forgot to add, Could it be that there is two of them?? When I only have one ds at home, they are angels. The minute the other ds returns they turn back into animals!!

OP posts:

Original poster

BoysRusxxx · 04/09/2011 18:51

Cross posted with you there ragged!

OP posts:

TrillianAstra · 04/09/2011 18:53

If you are at all interested I highly recommend Delusions of Gender by Coredlia Fine.

It's not just a boy thing. It might be that you treat them differently to how your friend treats her DD, or it might be that the rest of the world treats them differently to how they treat your friend's DD, or they might have inherently different personalities to your friend's DD, or it might be that there are two of them, or it could be a combination of all of those things But having a Y chromosome and a penis does not immediately make a child "wild".

latrucha · 04/09/2011 18:53

Also, they were at home, she was not.

I am the mother of a demure little girl and feel awful for those mothers who clearly feel they have to apologise for their energetic boys. It takes all sorts to make a world.

My baby DS is shaping up to be very physical. He rocks, IMO (as does DD)

Original poster

BoysRusxxx · 04/09/2011 19:06

Latrucha That is true actually never thought of that. They would never climb up on the kitchen table in someone elses house. In fact we always meet in my house, that is prob why i feel like im the only one giving out.

Trillian I havent read that, I will have a look out for it though as i would be interested in it. People do always say boys and girls are so much different but maybe it is just down to how they are treated. I wouldnt have thought I treat them different to girls but maybe i do subconsciously.

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tallulah · 04/09/2011 19:30

I have 5 children, 2 girls and 3 boys. Both girls are/were wild and boisterous, as was the middle boy. My DS1 and DS3 were both quiet, good and well behaved. It's nothing to do with being a boy or girl and everything to do with personality.

FlubbaBubba · 04/09/2011 19:31

I am the mother of two demure looking girls - who are honestly quite feral when they get overexcited. The fact that they look like butter wouldn't melt, and because many people expect girls to behave nicely, does not mean they don't play up and I'm forever apologising for their behaviour.

They are worse at home than at other people's houses (unless the house they go to/host is as well known to them).

Some of my friends with boys seem to often have angelic children.

FlubbaBubba · 04/09/2011 19:32

sorry last sentence was appallingly written - (was chasing DD2 back upstairs to bed for the Nth time tonight)

Firawla · 04/09/2011 22:51

my 2 toddler boys can be like that at times, i do think being 2 of them makes it worse cos individually mine are better aswel but together they make sooo much noise and also wind each other up. personally i do think boys can tend to be more like this, but children of that age all can have their wild moments including the girls too.

GoingLoopy · 05/09/2011 09:12

It doesn't get better when they grow out of being toddlers.... I have friends that I socialise with that have only girls but avoid mixing my boys with their girls!

juuule · 05/09/2011 10:04

I agree tallulah "It's nothing to do with being a boy or girl and everything to do with personality." I have 3 boys and 6 girls.

carpetlover · 05/09/2011 10:12

I really don't think it's a boy/girls thing. I have one DS, two DDs and am 1week away from having another DS. One of my DDs is reasonably calm but DD1 is the wildest child you could meet! As a toddler her behaviour was so demanding I sought help from my HV! She has had broken bones, stitches and numerous black eyes and bruises and she is only 6! Her and DS fight constantly-very physical with each other. DD2 is certainly more chilled but I think that's just her nature. I think the problem you had was partly that you had two against her one and partly because yours were in their own home. Though I have to admit that whilst DS was always much better behaved on his own, DD1 was the devil child wherever she was or whoever was with her.

TrillianAstra · 05/09/2011 11:52

It is a really interesting book and it shows us how much we buy into the prejudices that society has put into us even when we believe we don't.

latrucha · 05/09/2011 13:03

I'm glad to read that it's not a girl/boy thing. My DD and DS were making me question my beliefs! I do think that the bar for 'good' behaviour is set pretty high for girls and boys with lots of physical strength, energy or high spirits. We have toddler groups here where they are frowned on for running or shouting at all. I think it's mad. They're little kids not princes and princesses at finishing school.

Also, some of these 'boisterous' children will exhibit 'good' behaviour that my supposedly demure DD would never manage (like letting their mothers talk to someone else) but it doesn't get seen.

The world is an unfair place to a noisy child IMO.

Sleepglorioussleep · 05/09/2011 13:27

I have a more boisterous girl who is kind, looks out for younger children, plays exciting games that others want to join in with and responds with great enthusiasm to things I've made an effort with. She has no "side". She can be volatile, and sometimes gets overexcited. I am frequently exasperated with her but threads like these remind me why i love her.I know some demure children who are a delight but others who are quite unkind and exclusive in their play. I think I know which I'd prefer, although I long for the quiet life sometimes.

StrandedBear · 05/09/2011 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

BoysRusxxx · 05/09/2011 20:01

I guess its just the age they are at. Ds1 is starting playschool next week and I really think it will do him good.

I know they are just going through a bad phase. today, I went upstairs to get dressed and i came down to find them 'playing' in the bathroom. Ds1 was washing ds2s hair and the place was covered in water!!

Is this normal toddler behavior???

they can be so sweet aswell. They are so polite, people always compliment them/me on their manners. They are also very good at sharing and would never be mean to another child (except eachother but were working on that!).

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annoyingdevil · 05/09/2011 20:40

I have one of each, both were equally boisterous as toddlers. Now they are both at school, DD is more fearless, better at climbing and generally more physical

RedHotPokers · 05/09/2011 20:43

My 5yo DD is WAY more boisterous than my 2.5yo DS (although he is a bit of a climber). DD has always been a bit full on and super-sociable, whereas DS is fairly quiet and likes his own company.

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