DS 4 hits out at me - WWYD?

[androbbob]

DS is four and has a bit of a temper on him (red head!) and if he does not get his own way or is being a bit stoppy he tends to lash out at you. He is generally a good boy and his behaviour is fine in school and he is doing well educationally.

He trys to bargain with you at every moment - everything from getting dressed to going to bed is a mini battle - eg - its bed in 5 minutes - so he says no its six minutes.

He hits you on the bum and the side and can 'dive bomb' you. He is quite loud and boistrous which is a pain when out and about and can ruin a perfectly good family day out.

We do explain what we expect from the day and what we are planning to do and how we want him to behave, but it is not working.

Any experiences or advice to give??

If he hits you totally ignore him - do not give him any attention what so ever - if you can leave the room do so. When he is being well behaved and not hitting praise him.

Give him a bean bag / pillow tell him if he is frustrated/angry to hit the pillow but he must not hit people.

Once he has hit pillow talk to him about why he was angry.

He is four now, if you don't already use sanctions - I would start doing so, like removing a toy/ or 4 minutes on naughty step - you need to explain why his behaviour was unacceptable and this is what is going to happen as a result of it.

Remember to give him a warning - IE, if you hit me again you will go on the naughty step/ loose a toy whatever you choose.

Use a star chart - start with the worst behaviour he has that you do not like - like hitting and tell him if you do not hit another person just your pillow - you get a star - one at lunchtime if no hitting by then, on at bed time, sad face if he hit. After so many stars - a treat - trip to park, feed the ducks whatever you think.

I appreciate all parents and children are different - this is just what worked for us.

Good luck

Thanks for that - sounds encouraging. Will get him a puch pillow tomorrow and will try to ignore the hitting!