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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

what do other parents think??

8 replies

stressedmum1986 · 21/08/2011 16:04

My 6 year old son has difficulties that started from age2-3. he has been excluded from 1 school 7 times(between ages 4 and 5) and is now in his 3rd school and also ASDREL and 419 Cromwell road nurturing school.The reason for this is severe violence ...hitting,spitting,biting,kicking, has stabbed staff member in eye with door stop,said he wished he had a knife,punched staff member in nose and chipped her tooth...list goes on... I have barely had any help from paediatricians as they wouldnt even look at him when it began.Hes still not being diagnosed although gets disability living allowance...... what do i have to do to get some idea of what is wrong!!! anyone else experiencing this? people think im just moaning...

OP posts:

gorionine · 21/08/2011 16:17

People think you are just moaning?

What has the school reaction been 9appart from the exclusion? any offer to help or at least tell you wich doors to knock on? What help did you get so far?

I am no expert at all by the way but what you describe would worry me a lot as it 's behond beeing a bit lively. Maybe you should try Mumsnet's SN board as other mums will possibly be able to tell you were to go to be assessed properly?

So sorry I cannot do more it must be terribly hard for you and for him.

gorionine · 21/08/2011 16:18

So sorry for typos, seem to ne typing with my feet as usual

IslaValargeone · 21/08/2011 16:21

I'm astonished that people can think you are just moaning, given the situation you have described. I think gorionine is right about trying the SN board for guidance in how to bang on the right doors for the help you and your son require.
I hope you get some answers, it sounds dreadful for you both.

Original poster

stressedmum1986 · 21/08/2011 16:23

it is, thank you for replying. the school offered 1:1 support from a special TA but it still went as it did, he has a statement of special educational needs for 27 hours extra help but two days after receiving the statement he was excluded permanently. he is in 2 special schools and a mainstream one too but its home life too, iv had some help but im failing.i have been offered medication for him but havnet given him it and his dad doesnt want him to have it neither, its just so damn hard .he has just come back early from 1 of his nana's as he has been telling her he wishes she was dead and he wishes he had a knife...

OP posts:

Original poster

stressedmum1986 · 21/08/2011 16:24

thank you IslaValargeone. the moaning is from people mostly who have more than one child and constantly tell me their life is harder

OP posts:

gorionine · 22/08/2011 08:27

Well I have 4 DCs and your post most definitely does NOT sound like moaning!

Why does his dad not want him to have medication? Is he (dad) comming to appointment with you to hear what is being said and how medication might help?

BlueberryPancake · 22/08/2011 08:43

If I were you what other parents think would be the last thing I'd worry about. Some people will judge whatever the situation. They judge you because your kids are good, because they don't behave well in restaurents, supermarkets, school, people judge all the time.

I think that you should really really push with your GP. Take an appointment and ask the receptionist if you could have an appointment that would last longer (I don't htink that you would have time to discuss this in detail with a GP in 10 minutes!). You could also have someone else with you if your son starts misbehaving at the GP so he could go out back in the waiting room. Push for a full behavioural and developmental assessment. Ask for a child psychologist.

As for the medecine, it must be a very hard decision. I am sure that other mums on the SN board would be better for helping you on that.

IslaValargeone · 24/08/2011 10:23

I don't know if you will be popping back here if you decide to post on the SN board, however...Re the medication. I can understand how you and your dh must be reluctant to go down that route, however would the medication provide some kind of starting point and calmness that would facilitate a cognitive/psychological approach to then be put in place? A bit like when people are reluctant to take anti depressants at first, but then realise that the chemical lift can then help them to get out of the initial black pit, and then move on to other remedies that perhaps don't involve drugs? I hope that makes sense?
I really hope you get some help x

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