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Original poster

5yo - over sensitive with clothes, tags etc - what to do?

54 replies

olivo · 21/08/2011 10:07

The past few months have been hell with DD, just 5, being over sensitive to waistbands, tags, night nappies, shoes/socks - and I dont know what to do. she is very highly strung and cries very easily but she is making getting dressed every day absolute hell - screaming, tearing things off etc.

She hates the seams on socks, tags inside shoes, anything on her waist, the night nappies rub( she then takes them off and wets the bed - we have tried all available brands)

Can anyone suggest anything? I have tried taking clothing tags off but sometimes they leave a but which rubs more. I am dreading her going back to school Sad

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DinahRod · 21/08/2011 21:03

Was v like this as a child. Recall my mother buying me a pink winter wool coat with white scarf and hat that must have cost her a lot of hard earned money/it would have looked beautiful and I scratched and cried everytime I had to wear it and she had to give it away. Things got a lot easier once I went shopping and tried on/chose what I liked.

Pretty much all my clothes were 100% cotton, all tags cut out, cotton nighties not pjs (can you forgo the nappies and start night time training with her, taking her to the loo at 11pm and bring it forward?), very soft quilted coats. never wore hats, gloves or tights. Socks had to be of a thin and soft material, knickers could have no lace or trim - and then my mother just used to buy in bulk! Trousers no adjustable waistband, only very soft cotton elasticated or leggings. Hairwashing was a nightmare until I could do it myself and found a shampoo that didn't sting. Wasn't too bad with shoes afair, but again soft leather was the key but even my own hair against my neck aggravated and think I spent my childhood with either short or in two pigtails.

The brushing idea must have a basis as my parents used to stoke my arms to soothe me.

Meow75 · 21/08/2011 21:04

Oh, guys, I was this child, and am still quite sensitive to the feel of materials and temperature (my mum called it nesh). The food issues are gone as I am quite greedy, but there are a few food textures that I have to not think about when I am eating them - baked and red kidney beans and peas immediately spring to mind.

My DH hates going shopping with me because I refuse to buy anything that doesn't feel "right", but then I remind him that most male partners hate shopping with their OH's. Grin

With temperatures, it's not just a case of feeling the cold easily; I only genuinely feel comfortable between about 16-20C, and shudder at the thought of going somewhere "hot" for a holiday. Luckily, my IL's live in Lanzarote Hmm Sad [pissedoffemoticon]

jubilee10 · 21/08/2011 21:05

Gosh ds2 was like that. I had never heard of it before. I always put it down to him having eczema but it did seem a bit extreme. Good news, he is now almost 14 and although he still has a problem with some labels, sweatshirts and hair (after he has had his hair cut he has to shower immediately) he has outgrown it. He did have social issues too. Also to this day different foods mustn't touch on his plate. Beans, sweetcorn etc. have to be served in a ramkin dish.

He really is quite an ordinary sort of boy really!

Original poster
olivo · 21/08/2011 21:11

oh no, I'd forgotten about hair brushing and washing - daily hell!

Dinah, I have wasted so uch money on clothes that she has wanted and then refused to wear - I just hope DD2 has similar taste and no issues!
I have been advised to wait with the night nappies ( its a hormonal thing,so you cant really train) as we have other issues regarding sleep ( not getting much!!)

Must go to the library and check out these books!

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LeninGrad · 21/08/2011 21:13

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Original poster
olivo · 21/08/2011 21:16

quite complex - began with night terrors, nightmares, then just a full on separation/fear thing, shouting for me - hysterical if DH goes in, coming to get me, standing by my bed while I'm sleeping - sometimes awake,sometimes not, list goes on. A godod night, only up 3 times, a bad night up to 8 times. Have sought help but it is slow in coming. has been going on for 6 months now.

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 21/08/2011 21:17

Shock I'd never linked the temperature thing, but DS has that too.

At Easter he actually cried in the park because it was too hot.

LeninGrad · 21/08/2011 21:18

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Original poster
olivo · 21/08/2011 21:19

thanks, it's crap, isnt it? Glad you are getting some help. I think I am finally being taken seriously - not a moment too soon!

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LeninGrad · 21/08/2011 21:20

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MugglesandLuna · 21/08/2011 21:29

If anyone wants a copy of the book that Lynette linked too I have a copy going spare which I can pop in the post to someone.

CaptainNancy · 21/08/2011 21:35

re sleep (we've had this) - could you put his mattress next to your bed for a while, so that you aren't all losing so much sleep, as he'll be reassured quicker on waking if you're within arms length reach IYSWIM?

We had to do this with DD for about 6 months (from around 4.9-5.3) but she's back in her own room again now, and down to around 1 waking a night, terrors have lessened a little (2,3 a week now).

DinahRod · 21/08/2011 21:56

Sorry re the night-time toilet training - must be really tough - and of course having a hot and then cold nappy on must drive her wild and probably has a knock on to the bad dreams.

Have read up on night terrors - if dcs are obliging and wake up on cue (even if a couple of times a night), then the advice appears to be to set your own alarm and wake them fully before the onset, even get them to go to the loo or something and then back to sleep. However, not all are so obliging to stick to a pattern! The other advice I've taken on board is not to tell them their bad dreams have no basis as that doesn't help them at 2am, so instead we (me and dc) comically boot them (whatever's in the dream) out of the bedroom window, out of the house, out of the town etc and because they are scared of us ('Big Bad Mummy' and whatever comic super hero name dc comes up with for themselves, we show our muscles and the bad dreams have silly voices that are 'really really sorry/didn't mean it' but we show them no mercy!) and then a chat about something they are looking forward to. Plus give them the message that they know where I am, they can always come and find me anytime (have no wish to see them at 3am but they are reassured)

Dcs are liking my Elvive shampoo and conditioner which contains royal jelly and we comb it through with a round edged wide spaced thick comb (so no tearing/tugging) and then into two plaits whilst still and distracted by children's television.

Just wishing you well with your own trials and errors with dc!

BuckBuckMcFate · 21/08/2011 22:05

Ds2 is like this about labels. And waistbands.

I always feel really awful when I think back to how unhappy he seemed as a baby and I didn't know that it was labels causing itSad

We have control issues too, though these are much improved from when he was 4, he's 7 now.

I'm going to look up the brushing technique as he said to me the other day, I wish my skin was just stronger mum and I felt quite helpless. Though I find a little bit of talc seems to ease the discomfort got him.

KitKat84 · 21/08/2011 22:35

This thread has been very interesting. First of all, where do I buy seamless socks?!
My DS has control issues and he isn't good socially.

LeninGrad · 21/08/2011 22:40

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NonnoMum · 21/08/2011 22:44

Yep - please can someone link to seamless socks?? DD1 was like this - we had to turn them inside out - and would spend ages getting them just so...

LeninGrad · 21/08/2011 22:47

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DinahRod · 21/08/2011 22:50

seamless socks 1

seamless socks 2

seamless socks 3

M&S used to do some really nice girls ankle socks with the seams folded back into itself so no chafing

DinahRod · 21/08/2011 22:51

x posted

welliesandpyjamas · 21/08/2011 23:00

Ohhhh, ds1 had this! With labels, wool, rougher fabrics, and interestingly night terrors too. He's 8 now and for the main part has grown out of it - he'll wear clothes with labels now and only has one item that he refuses to wear without a layer between it and his skin. Frustrating as it has been, we just had to accept that everyone has different skin sensitivity. DH hates the feel of velvet and silk and MIL also mentioned recently that she too hates the feel of wool against her skin, so maybe it's in the genes Grin

CaptainNancy · 21/08/2011 23:02

Blush So sorry- I have referred to your precious child as 'he', and of course is a DD, v sorry.

spudmasher · 22/08/2011 20:59

So helpful that website. might have just saved our lives thank you .l

Original poster
olivo · 24/08/2011 10:00

thanks to everyone for their suggestions. we reached a real peak last night ending up with me passing out, and I am now exhausted. We have a new mattress arriving today so one of us can sleep on her floor each night, hopefully the other will get some sleep.

I will buy some seamless socks, and I took DD to the shoe shop yesterday, so she could hear from someone else that her shoes are the right size.

Muggles, I will (try to) PM you about the book!!

OP posts:
KitKat84 · 24/08/2011 20:23

Thanks I've ordered some seamless socks. I've been doing a lot of online reading about this but will make a new post in a bit as I don't want to hi-jack this one further!