5yo - over sensitive with clothes, tags etc - what to do?

[olivo]

The past few months have been hell with DD, just 5, being over sensitive to waistbands, tags, night nappies, shoes/socks - and I dont know what to do. she is very highly strung and cries very easily but she is making getting dressed every day absolute hell - screaming, tearing things off etc.

She hates the seams on socks, tags inside shoes, anything on her waist, the night nappies rub( she then takes them off and wets the bed - we have tried all available brands)

Can anyone suggest anything? I have tried taking clothing tags off but sometimes they leave a but which rubs more. I am dreading her going back to school

[olivo]

Feel free to hijack - I feel better for knowing I am not the only one trying to deal with these issues!

[KitKat84]

OK, I fear i might ramble but any thoughts are welcome!

DS is now 5.4 and was always high needs. Had to be constantly held as a baby, never liked sleeping alone, refused solid foods completely until he was 10 months and even then would tolerate only mush until he was 18 months. He will only eat bland/beige food now. The neurotic hissy fits over the clothes which I have already posted about (which appear to be getting worse as he gets older) and he has a constant need for control.

His little habits are almost autistic in description, doesn't socialise all that well with children his own age and has ridiculous rituals and if anyone disrupts them he has a melt down. The best thing I can use as an example is if when I used to pick him up and carry him a little way (when he was much younger obviously!) and then put him down, he would start flapping his hands and tell me to carry him back to the place where I first picked him up so he could walk the whole way. He has certain triggers which have taken me ages to work out but now I know them I can prevent a meltdown and actually, now he is older, he can make his own way out of his meltdowns much quicker. I didn't mention sleeping issues before as I didn't really think about it - he has always been difficult to get off to sleep but the meltdowns he has before bedtime are not normal. It can take an hour to get him settled, he screams at me shouts horrible things like he wishes I wasn't his mum etc .... Some nights he can be fine, there seems to be no rhyme or rhythm to it. He wakes in the night every night without fail and comes into my bed where he spends all night scrunching up my hair inhis sleep - he has this thing about womens' hair?!

The thing is, I don't think he is autistic, he is affectionate, follows instructions, has good understanding and can show empathy but tbh I have noticed that recently his empathy 'skills' seems to be declining. Whether that is an age/stage thing or not I don't know. He can socialise but only if he has control. The control is a big issue and I never know how much to give him and how much to have myself.

I have read al ot of websites about sensory issues in children and DS seems to have a lot of these signs/symptoms but I don't know if it is any more than the 'normal' child.

I really don't know if I am looking for something where there is nothing iyswim. His teachers have commented on his desire to be in control and his competitiveness (seriously out of control - sports day was cringeworthy!) but he hasn#t had any melt downs at school. His teacher has seen him in one though because she had to take him off me when I dropped him at school one morning and he was having the mother of all tantrums (his coat was hurting his shoulders apparently sigh). I do know these meltdowns are not common but am wondering if I am enabling them in some way as he does not do this at school? Does it sound like some kind of sensory issue?

I am at my wit's end here, at the moment he is still small enough to pick up and control when he kicks off when we are out and about but he is a big boy and very strong and I don't know how long I can physically cope with it.
Probably a lot of irrelevant information - sorry:/

[rattie77]

Hi, Sorry haven't read all the threads in great depth as shouldn't be on here as getting ready to go out, so apologies if this book has already been suggested- The Highly Sensitive Child - by Elaine N Aron. She writes in depth about Sensitivity and processing issues. Her first book The Highly Sensitive Person was like a revelation to me - as it literally described me which was brilliant as I always felt a bit different. Well worth a look anyway.