breaking bad sleep habits..I need advice, PLEASE HELP.

[hippy3]

i have 19 week old twin boys, who are just amazing(most of the time)...

We have them in a pretty good routine in the day they go down for a morning nap for an hour, an hour at lunch and around 20-40 minutes in the afternoon. Then we have the night routine down as well.... bath at 6pm, massage, then feed in the room with the lights off, then into bed, story ...by 6.30-6.45.... they are usually both asleep within 20-30 minutes. So We are both really happy with that. Dream feed when we go to bed usually around 10.30...that they sleep thru...They also consume enough milk in the day to feed four babies!!

The boys are still in their cot in our room at the end of our bed. They use dummies to go to sleep with(HUGE MISTAKE!) but once they are asleep and the dummies are out they are fine.... we are planning on moving them into thier own room this weekend.

So what do we do....Finn my little one sleeps from when he goes down until around 5,5.30...so thats brillaint he then wakes we feed him a little bit and then he will go back down until 7.
Eli my other little one has started to wake at 2 EVERY night. so we have been trying to settle him in his cot... (without picking him up) but sometimes he is so so upset that I have rocked him in my arms back to sleep.... He isnt hungry, we have tried him on the bottle he isnt interested, if we change him we give him no eye contact and keep the lights off so he knows its not play time...

The problem is...when we put them in their own room.... I REALLY want them to learn how to settle themselves. We stupidly because they have been in our room we have been there the second they make a noise to settle them. .... (I admit for our own selfish reasons of wanting them too sleep so that we could get some sleep)

so I am looking at the controlled crying method..... Or crying it out...(to be honest I dont think im comfortable with CIO)..... my DP has said hed have no problem doing it, ..just want to know how I do controlled crying properly??, Does it work??? need some support...we are putting them in their own room tomorrow.... so will listen to all your advice !!!! Thanks you....x Do we also continue to ut the dummies back in for them..... ??? Help.......!!

Hello,

Didn't want this to go unanswered (you might get more responses on the Multiples Births section). To be honest, I can't see a flaw in what you are doing now. Obviously, none of us are perfect, but you are doing nothing wrong. Unfortunately, twins do this (mine are nearly two and a half now). They STILL go to sleep/wake at different times and we STILL get interrupted nights. We didn't use dummies, and we did use controlled crying.

However, controlled crying, in my opinion, is the only way to go with twins, unless you want to be awake all night for the next three years. It works. And within days (even our difficult twin was only a week) they were settling themselves and still do. My mindset was short term pain (ie listening to the crying) will be worth it, and it was. If you are really deeply unhappy about it, then you'll need to find another way. Not sure what it is though. I am sure someone else will, especially on Multiple Births.

LL

PS It's not selfish for you to want them to sleep so you can sleep!

Nineteen weeks is too early, though - CC shouldn't be done before six months and they should also stay in your room for the first six months because of the SIDs risk. Not long to go!

Think its fine to start cc wheneve you feel is suitable, i didnt wait 6 months and within a few dayd ds was settled nicely and still sleeps very well to this day - now 3. leaving for a minute, went back in bedroom, shh shh and hand on tummy, increased time away to 2 minutes etc . Rested parents are happier parents .....

I have 10 month old twins an think you're doing very well from what you describe.

Mine are still in our room. DS normally sleeps from bedtime (7.30 ish) to 4am ish, then feeds and foes back to sleep until 6.30am ish. DD sleeps from bedtime until about 1.30am, feeds, sleeps until 3.30 ish, feeds and then would sleep until about 8am if her brother didn't wake her at 6.30 am!

We are getting there slowly. They were both 12.30/3/5.30/7 feeders until about 7 or 8 months, so there has been a huge improvement.

Personally, I would never do CC/CIO or any other type of leaving them to cry. I couldn't do it as I don't think it is fair to leave a baby to cry just so I can get more sleep. The babies don't know why they're being left, and I want my children to know that I will be there as soon as they need me. Though obviously you have to rear your twins your way.

Good luck - I hope you get some sleep one way or another. Would one or two afternoons a week in nursery be an option, so you can catch up with sleep then?

I have 10 month old twins an think you're doing very well from what you describe.

Mine are still in our room. DS normally sleeps from bedtime (7.30 ish) to 4am ish, then feeds and foes back to sleep until 6.30am ish. DD sleeps from bedtime until about 1.30am, feeds, sleeps until 3.30 ish, feeds and then would sleep until about 8am if her brother didn't wake her at 6.30 am!

We are getting there slowly. They were both 12.30/3/5.30/7 feeders until about 7 or 8 months, so there has been a huge improvement.

Personally, I would never do CC/CIO or any other type of leaving them to cry. I couldn't do it as I don't think it is fair to leave a baby to cry just so I can get more sleep. The babies don't know why they're being left, and I want my children to know that I will be there as soon as they need me. Though obviously you have to rear your twins your way.

Good luck - I hope you get some sleep one way or another. Would one or two afternoons a week in nursery be an option, so you can catch up with sleep then?

Oops, sorry for the double post