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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Toddler 'insisting' I feed her- advice please?

12 replies

milkysmum · 09/08/2011 08:54

Hello.
My dd is 2 1/2 and has always fed herself from an early age- did BLW which was a great success.
Just recently she has begun 'insisting' that either me or dh feeds her at meal times or she refuses to eat and screams the place down. She sometimes has the first mouth full herself and then demands we do 'big mouthfuls' for her. We both know this is so the wrong road to go down and out of meal times agree not to do it but then mid screaming just relent and feed her!! Anyone have similar expereince to share and how they overcame it? Might be worth noting I am 7 months pregnant so could she be starting to feel jealous already?

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iskra · 09/08/2011 09:17

Mm. DD never wanted to be fed as a baby, so we did BLW. Around 6 months ago at 2.5 she started asking to be 'fed like a baby'. I generally would. Your post just made me realise that at 3.2 she never asks that anymore.

BestNameEver · 09/08/2011 09:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BertieBotts · 09/08/2011 09:25

It's quite a common phase I think. I will feed DS if he asks but if I'm busy or trying to eat my own dinner then I do say that I'm busy/eating and he knows how to feed himself, but if he still isn't eating by the time I've finished I will feed him. His choice if he wants to let his food go cold! :) You could also "take turns" ie you feed her, then she feeds herself, etc.

Sleepglorioussleep · 09/08/2011 09:40

We've had this. Ds refused to be fed as a baby and at 2.8 he.now likes a bit of feeding. But it's declining and my gut feeling is that it won't last and he just wants to know what it's like. As long as they can do things, I don't tend to worry too much about whether they will for brief patches. Dd wanted help with toileting ling after she could and did manage perfectly well when I wasn't there. I assume it was just a cunning way of getting a little more undivided attention.

Galena · 09/08/2011 09:48

DD is 2.3 and likes to be fed sometimes - she also asks for 'big mouthfuls' so it made me chuckle that you get those requests too! I think, because she's doing so much and developing so fast, that she's really tired by the evening and that the effort of trying to manipulate the spoon/fork is just too much, so she prefers to be fed. She'll grow out of it, she's still little. Oh, and I didn't BLW, so I don't have any qualms about a bit of spoon feeding...

ConstantCraving · 09/08/2011 13:10

Hi, my DD 21 months is also doing this. Won't eat much at all at the moment - but that's another thread - so I just tend to encourage her, and then feed her myself if necessary. I figure she'll do it herself when she's ready. Glad everyone here is chilled about it - i read another thread a while ago in which the majority view seemed to be leave them to scream / go hungry until they pick up the spoon and feed themselves which seemed a bit brutal!

Zoidberg · 09/08/2011 13:36

DD is 2.3 and also likes to be fed most of the time. She waggles her fork at us and says "Mummy/Daddy needs to do it" or "help me". Never occurred to us that it's anything other than a phase that will pass, that we need take no action as it were. Personally I'd rather help from the start of the meal than give mixed messages by leaving to scream then changing tack.

Original poster

milkysmum · 09/08/2011 15:54

I thought I'd get told to leave her to scream, she won't starve etc responses so I must have read that on other threads somewhere to expect that reaction, I think that is why I was thinking it was the wrong thing to do? just feels a bit like a backward step for her to need feeding and I was worried about making it worse - maybe I just need to relax a bit and let her be babied a bit if that's what she wants right now?

OP posts:

Octaviapink · 09/08/2011 19:26

You could try getting her to feed you? Ring the changes a bit. I do think you should be consistent though - either feed her or remove her plate and get her down from the table without eating.

I generally give DD (same age) a spoonful or two more than she's fed herself because she loses interest after she's taken the edge off her hunger.

dycey · 10/08/2011 15:10

My ds wouldn't feed himself much at all (gets freaked out by spilt food and mess) until he spent a week with his cousins. He was 2 and a bit, the cousins were 6 months, 2.5, 3.5 and 6.

He came back from that week and told me to put the highchair away and he fed himself.

It's slipping slightly again but really that's due to his fastidiousness and hatred of mess! I wouldn't worry about it. No way will it carry on once school starts!

dycey · 10/08/2011 15:18

O and I was there during that cousin week... It was peer pressure plus seeing himself in a new light - as part of a child's gang!

yawningbear · 10/08/2011 15:48

DD is doing this just now too, she is 2.8 and as a baby/younger toddler could not have been more determined to only feed herself. However arrival of her baby bro seems to have had an impact in lots of different ways and she often now asks for help and likes to be spoon fed. We are just going with the flow, I would think the fact that you are 7 months pregnant is likely to be a factor & probably best to just go what she needs for now.

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