Help, 20 month old DD won't eat!

[Blatherskite]

I had it easy with DS. He ate pretty much anything from the start and with the exception of obvious cheese (ie not melted in/on something) ,raw tomatoes and curry, he still will now at 4.5

20 month old DD is a whole different matter and I have no idea what to do.

She eats breakfast well, in fact the first thing she does when we get downstairs in the mornings is to stand at her high chair and call to be lifted in. She will then happily devour between 1 and 2 weetabix normally so she is obviously hungry. From then on it gets harder.

She won't eat sandwiches or soup or quiche or any of the usual lunchtime things, she turns her nose up at salad and dip. If I give her something she does like - today we had noodles and spring rolls - she'll eat a very little bit then stop. Same with dinner. She will eat pasta with a tomato-y/bolognese sauce, beans or pretty much anything 'Little Dish' make but apart from that, she just pashes it away and refuses She used to love baked potatoes with cheese and beans but even that got pushed away yesterday, her previous favourite of quesadillas got refused last week too - she's getting worse and I'm panicing.

She must be hungry because when I call "dinner" or "lunch" she comes running and stands next to her highchair ready to be lifted in but then she'll take one look and turn her nose up. She must be hungry as she's only eating breakfast everyday!

Today I made plain, pan-fried haddock, boiled new potatoes, brocolli, asparagus and some purple cauliflower - all reasonably bland and easy to eat. I even gave her a blob of ketchup to help it go down but bar dipping her fork in the ketchup a few times she ate nothing. Then comes to argument between me and DH - I think she's too little to understand that she must eat her dinner to get a yogurt for dessert (although we do say this to her - repeatedly) and he thinks she's just waiting for the yogurt and shouldn't get anything if she won't eat her meal. The latter is how we work it for DS but he's almost 3 years older and so has more understanding of consequences. He thinks the yogurt fills her up just enough so that's all she wants. We refused her the yogurt today and let her down from the table but then she just cried as DS got his yogurt because he'd eaten everything on his plate and she wanted one too. I have tried giving other 'desserts' but she won't eat fruit either. She's eaten it in the past but very, very rarely, that usually gets pushed away too. On the odd occasion she does eat, there are lots of smiles and "Good girl"'s. If she's not eating, I usually leave her to it while I eat my food and then try to spoon feed her myself when I'm done - although this never works.

DD is also a very early riser (5.30am-6am) and I worry that not only is she too small to go without anything but that by not even giving her a yogurt, we risk her getting up even earlier because she is hungry. Beditme is about 7.30-8pm for both children.

All this is compounded for me by the fact that DD has always been tiny. She stuck to the 0.2 centile line in her book all the way up to a year. She's still wears 9-12 month clothes (she's just beginning to fit a few 12-18 month bits) despite being a few days off 20 months old. I'm just worried that she hasn't got a lot of weight to loose. I'm also worried that she's not getting enough nutrients in her diet of weetabix and mid morning smoothies. She's still dirtying at least 1 nappy a day so something is getting through, I'm just not sure what.

I have no idea where I've gone wrong or what to do next. Please help Mumsnet.

Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to get as much as I could think of down at the beginning.

Great news! Maybe she was being awkward because she was hungry. You're not having my monkey, she pretty consistently sleeps till 8.30 (can just hear her murmuring to herself...)

Good luck with today.

DS was like that, never up before 8. Since DD's been born, 6.20 is a lie in.

Glad you had a better day. We did too- DD2 ate an unprecedented amount of veg - finally - including sweetcorn and peas (still frozen, out of a small bowl ) and some carrot out of my veg chilli - first time ever! Doubt we'll have the same again today but am just trying to take baby steps.

She's also v tired as she has stopped napping, although she only ever had 40 mins anyway and is always up at 6.30, but remain optimistic that we have turned a corner! Happy eating!

I'm going to try the frozen peas, I think the novelty factor might mean the DTs are intrigued!

I also think I maybe expect them to eat too much, but then when they have refused everything they will happily beg for and polish off 1.5 weetabix each before bed.

Sadly mine don't like baked beans, or fishfingers, or any of the 'easy' stuff, so I always end up with either loads of cooking, or giving in and cooking sausages - which are never refused!

DD ate frozen peas last time I tried. A few got chewed and spat but a few went down too. I think it helped that DS was happily eating them - she'll do anything to copy him :)

Today's experiment...toasted sandwiches. She won't eat sandwiches but she will eat toast so I'm hoping something halfway might work too.... She did have 2 biscuits at toddler group though so might not be hungry enough

madam refused breakfast but ate her (reheated) porridge with gusto at 1030 when she started demanding a snack. friend here all morning and gave her son lunch at 1130 - DD asked for toast picked off the peanut butter and ate it but no toast and one spoon of petit filous. ho hum, i', so glad i am not alone and keep reminding myself that no adults live on oatcakes, porridge and peanut butter (do they?)

Hi sounds like things are improving, my DS is 13 months and has gone from eating loads when it was slop baby food but now he should be eating proper food he was gagging on everything and liking thinds and that was it other than breakfast
The HV reffered him to a development lifestyle coach, she has been over a couple of times, and he has improved greatly, have you tried greek yoghurt with added fruit puree in it? DS eats a bigger protion of this than a normal yoghurt, she said beans a few times a week are really good, and a portion for up to a 2 yo is a tablespoon of something eg mash, pasta, veg, beans and a portion of bread is 1/2 to 1 slice of bread, it put my mind at ease as I was giving him bigger plates than that and worrying he hardly ate.
She also said playing with the food is a positive even if he wont eat much, playing with it is showing interese, Also I cant remember who said it but the info I was given said 17 times for a toddler to decide if they dont like something.
Hope things improve, just wanted to share what I had been told, sadly our biggest battle now is other than a bottle of milk DS wont drink, its a big achievement if he has a few sips a day, so if anyone has any tips on that it would be great, nothing we have tried works!

Feeling like a bit of a fraud now Lunch was a total success!

I made cheese and ham toasted sandwiches with the ham cut up really small so the pieces were no bigger than the grated cheese. The sandwich toaster 'cuts' each sandwich in half and I halved each half to make them easier to handle. When they were just warm, I gave them to the children.

DD wolfed the first quarter down! It was kind of handy that my Mum rang as she seemed to have given up after that but because I was on the phone, I left her sitting at the table with the food in front of her...and before long she was eating a second quarter!!

So she's had a whole slice of bread, about a teaspoon of chopped ham - which she would have never touched before - and about 2-3 teaspoons of cheese. Taking into account what sleepless and memphis have been saying about portions, I feel like that's really good going.

Going to definitely try the chicken pasta bake for dinner. She loves pasta so I'm hoping that will help when it's not a tomato sauce.

Reheated porrige is good sleepless. It's full of energy at least. Maybe try it with some fruit puree or raisins in next time? One spoonfull of petit filous is better than none too :)

Have you tried milkshake memphis? Or maybe just drop the milk altogether? My friend's child wouldn't have milk but would have yogurt and cheese and the HV said that was enough to give him the calcium he needed.

DD is complaining that she is hungry less than an hour before dinner. I have given her grapes. She is not impressed and keeps sniffing them. At least she won't fill herself up :)

Today DD (12 months) has eaten:

1/4 slice toast
4 Breadsticks
2 biscuits
1 small rice cake
1/4 banana
1 oat bar thing
6 spoons of rice/lentil/vege thing
2 portions of yoghurt
1/2 baby sweetcorn

Several pints of breastmilk!!!

ARRRGHHHHHHHHHH!

You know what, Zimm, that's frustrating, but it's not THAT bad... you've got most of the foodgroups there... What would happen if you started limiting the bf a bit? would she eat more, or just get grumpy? Just a thought.

It's a good job DD's done well with eating recently as dinner was a complete disaster. She ate maybe 1 piece of pasta and then threw up! Even DS wouldn't eat it. DH and I thought it was OK

As she obviously really didn't like it if it made her sick, we gave her a yogurt anyway. She's had milk before bed too.

I've binned the leftovers.

So today she's had 2 and a half bowls of loops, 2 biscuits, 2 little toasted cheese and ham sandwiches, a smoothie, a chew of 2 grapes (that then got spat), a yogurt and milk. Only 1 of her 5 a day but plenty of carbs and calcium and a little protien. Not so bad I guess. Actually quite happy about the chewed grapes as at least they made it into her mouth.

I wondered whether you DD was filling up on milk too Zimm. I quit BF DD at 12 months and she went straight onto cows milk. I'm pretty sure we were only doing pre-nap and pre-bed feeds by that point and were aiming to get about a pint drunk. If she's having several pints then that could be why she's not eating as much.

I agree, Zimm - that doesn't sound too bad. DS was 11 months before he needed to have 3 meals a day - before that, he'd happily miss one or even two without grumpiness as long as he'd had bf. He didn't start wanting snacks till about 13 months or so. I think they're all different, though - even now at 19 m.o. he has about 7 bfs a day, sometimes more.

The WHO reckon that it's only from 12 months onwards that solids should start being more than 50% of children's nutrition.

Hmmm...several steps back today. 2 pieces of cereal for breakfast, a breadstick for snack. At a friend's for lunch today and she refused to eat anything apart from a few crisps and half a frube - hardly the healthiest lunch. Must be hungry but can't get her to have anything....ho hum

We're doing OK today in terms of volume but variety is still awful.

Breakfast was 1 and a half bowls of Supermarket brand "Shreddies" - at least they're fortified I guess, I cut up some Apple for snack but that was chewed and spat as normal. We then had biscuits and raisins when we had friends round but I'm not sure she actually ate any of the raisins. For lunch she ate a few cheesey breadsticks and then shocked me by absolutely wolfing down a bowl of scrambled eggs and a yogurt. I tried her with a cherry and thought we were going to be OK after she ate the first 8th but then she spat the second and third pieces and wouldn't touch the rest.

So so far her fruit and veg count is 1/8th of a cherry!

She'd had just under a 2 hour nap so is all refreshed to fight me over the ham hash we're having for dinner. Going to give her a smoothie now so we at least get 1 portion of fruit down her.

The chewing ans spitting is getting me down. She can't hate the flavour as she goes back for more so I just wish she'd swallow it. I suppose she's getting used to the taste and texture but it would do her more good if it went down.

Some of the juice will be going down though, Blathers... She'll get there. DD does similar with veg, although often won't even chew them!

DD's had:
a slice of bread with homemade blackberry jam for breakfast
some raisins for snack
beans on toast with cheese (1 slice bread, 1/3 tin beans, some cheese), a few strawberries and some chocolate for lunch
toad in the hole with ketchup (there's one of her 5 a day!) and veg (which she didn't touch) for dinner followed by strawberry instant whip

Not many of her 5 a day, but she's eaten quite a bit really.

DD did better with dinner than I thought she probably would - there were no tears at least from -either of us--. She ate the beans I served it with and surprised me by picking out and actually eating some of the bits of ham. She maybe had a taste of potato and none of the cabbage. Dessert was one of the cakes me and DS made while she was napping, of which she had about 2 bites.

So we're on 2 or her 5-a-day, a load of carbs, some protien and a decent amount of calcium. Not so bad I guess.

Decided to try something different here tonight - we took my one year old bad to purees! I am pleased to report she happily ate a whole portion of lentil/watercress/onion (river cafe recipe -treated myself to book) without complaint. So i think it is not vege/food in general she has an issue with - it's chewing lumps! She can chew lumps - she doesn't like to. She suffers hugely with teething so this could be the root issue. She will still eat finger foods (very limited range) so it's not a total regression. Going to stich with purees for a while and then try reintroduces lumps...highly recommened the baby river cottage cook book!

Hope everyone else had a good day. Maybe purres for older kids would work too - spread them on toast?

My fussy eaters are now 15 and 14 and no longer fussy. 5 year old eats anything so not had this problem for a long time but one of their favourites was to cut buttered bread, toast, cheese slices, cold meat, cucumber themselves using cookie cutters. We had various sets with lots of different shapes and they virtually created their own meals. Downside - I got all the "scraps" for my lunch.

I'm really annoyed now. It's our wedding anniversary today and the children went to PIL's last night for a sleepover so we could have a night out.

While there DD has eaten perfectly

According to MIL, last night she had roast chicken, boiled potatoes and runner beans - and ate the lot! The only difference I can tell (after much questioning) is that she chopped it all up very small and mixed it together like you would do for a much smaller baby - sounds a lot like what you've found Zimm

This morning she was given her usual Weetabix and ate two and while we were there at lunchtime, she's eaten beans and sausage rolls (not unusual) and then picked her way through and ate a load of fruit from a Supermarket ready prepared pack (very unusual!) She ate all the blueberries and then had melon, pineapple and even some apple too. She'd have chewed and spat at home.

I'm so glad she's eaten but so exasperated that she won't do the same at home. At least I know she can and will eat this stuff now, I've just got to work out how to get her to do it all the time.

Either that or send her for more sleep-overs at Nanny's

Hmmm, they are monkeys when away from home!

DD has been a pickle the past few days - not been eating much breakfast or lunch so been needing a snack before tea, so not eating much tea either! (Typical!) Hopefully just a phase... (We've been giving Piriton nightly for a hayfevery cough for the past few months, and have just weaned her off it, so I wonder if it's tied in with that. She's been coughing a bit more both during the day and overnight, but not badly enough to wake her which is what was happening.)

She did eat a whole banana this afternoon though!

Well she's back to normal now she's home Did boiled potatoes just like those eaten at Nanny's and they were left. She would only eat at all in fact while sat on my knee! Wondering if it's time to swap the highchair for a booster seat so she's sat at the table with us all?

She also got up at 5.40 this morning.

I really don't know what to do

My mum could have been on this thread when I was growing up. I wouldn't eat meat or veg or potatoes, in fact I wouldn't eat cooked/hot food at all. I lived off bread, peanut butter, cheese and apples (and icecream, biscuits etc) until I was 4 or 5. No exaggeration. BUT I was active and healthy and now love cooking and restaurants (well I did before I had DC..) and also escaped other eating problems as a teenager.

Just thought it might help to show that so long as they eat something with a bit of goodness in, it doesn't really matter if it's the same day after day after day.

PS My DD is shaping up to be vv fussy as well so it's coming back to bite me

Can I join in please? My DS (2 next week) is as fussy as it gets, and has been since weaning.

He has 2 x Tommy Tippee cups of whole milk on waking and at bedtime.

Breakfast: Ready brek with chopped banana and some fresh or tinned fruit on the side

Lunch: Philadelphia on bread or toast, organix-style crisps, an orange

Dinner: Sweet potato or butternut squash + either fishfingers, pork pie (!), cocktail sausages or chicken goujons. NOTHING else offered gets eaten. Followed by a yoghurt (usually Rachel's, so fruit puree rather than sugar FWIW).

Snacks: raisins, occasional cake/biscuit, babybel, ricecakes.

He won't eat any veg including baked beans, peas, sweetcorn, green beans and never has. He won't eat pasta, rice, couscous or white potato and never has. He won't eat fresh meat (eg roast chicken, bolognese etc).

I have almost given up trying new things as he goes to nursery three days a week and eats NOTHING there all day except maybe a bit of bread, rejecting it all. I keep hoping peer pressure will help but so far no good.

I would honestly do a little dance of joy if he would eat pasta with tomato sauce.