Help, 20 month old DD won't eat!

[Blatherskite]

I had it easy with DS. He ate pretty much anything from the start and with the exception of obvious cheese (ie not melted in/on something) ,raw tomatoes and curry, he still will now at 4.5

20 month old DD is a whole different matter and I have no idea what to do.

She eats breakfast well, in fact the first thing she does when we get downstairs in the mornings is to stand at her high chair and call to be lifted in. She will then happily devour between 1 and 2 weetabix normally so she is obviously hungry. From then on it gets harder.

She won't eat sandwiches or soup or quiche or any of the usual lunchtime things, she turns her nose up at salad and dip. If I give her something she does like - today we had noodles and spring rolls - she'll eat a very little bit then stop. Same with dinner. She will eat pasta with a tomato-y/bolognese sauce, beans or pretty much anything 'Little Dish' make but apart from that, she just pashes it away and refuses She used to love baked potatoes with cheese and beans but even that got pushed away yesterday, her previous favourite of quesadillas got refused last week too - she's getting worse and I'm panicing.

She must be hungry because when I call "dinner" or "lunch" she comes running and stands next to her highchair ready to be lifted in but then she'll take one look and turn her nose up. She must be hungry as she's only eating breakfast everyday!

Today I made plain, pan-fried haddock, boiled new potatoes, brocolli, asparagus and some purple cauliflower - all reasonably bland and easy to eat. I even gave her a blob of ketchup to help it go down but bar dipping her fork in the ketchup a few times she ate nothing. Then comes to argument between me and DH - I think she's too little to understand that she must eat her dinner to get a yogurt for dessert (although we do say this to her - repeatedly) and he thinks she's just waiting for the yogurt and shouldn't get anything if she won't eat her meal. The latter is how we work it for DS but he's almost 3 years older and so has more understanding of consequences. He thinks the yogurt fills her up just enough so that's all she wants. We refused her the yogurt today and let her down from the table but then she just cried as DS got his yogurt because he'd eaten everything on his plate and she wanted one too. I have tried giving other 'desserts' but she won't eat fruit either. She's eaten it in the past but very, very rarely, that usually gets pushed away too. On the odd occasion she does eat, there are lots of smiles and "Good girl"'s. If she's not eating, I usually leave her to it while I eat my food and then try to spoon feed her myself when I'm done - although this never works.

DD is also a very early riser (5.30am-6am) and I worry that not only is she too small to go without anything but that by not even giving her a yogurt, we risk her getting up even earlier because she is hungry. Beditme is about 7.30-8pm for both children.

All this is compounded for me by the fact that DD has always been tiny. She stuck to the 0.2 centile line in her book all the way up to a year. She's still wears 9-12 month clothes (she's just beginning to fit a few 12-18 month bits) despite being a few days off 20 months old. I'm just worried that she hasn't got a lot of weight to loose. I'm also worried that she's not getting enough nutrients in her diet of weetabix and mid morning smoothies. She's still dirtying at least 1 nappy a day so something is getting through, I'm just not sure what.

I have no idea where I've gone wrong or what to do next. Please help Mumsnet.

Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to get as much as I could think of down at the beginning.

Good site mentioned on the unconditional parenting support thread - helpful stuff on the toddler pages about food which made me feel better www.ahaparenting.com/

Thanks. I'll have a look tomorrow. Off to bed now just in case DD gets up at 5am again!

Night - I' m off now too. Early starts seem to come with empty stomachs!!

5.20 this morning. Face is somewhere between and with the tiredness.

Breakfast didn't go well either. I tried the loops and she started well but only ate about half and the other half went down the wall. Ah well, at least she'll be hungry at lunchtime right?

:( Blathers. At least she ate half! Hopefully lunch will be a success.

We're off to a friend's for lunch - a friend with grown up children and a tiny granddaughter - and I have no idea if there will be anything suitable for DD. I'm just taking lots of snacks with me!

Hi - half a slice of toast and 3 spoons of oatibix for brekkie. Full of beans all morning and has now crashed out after refusing snack or lunch... will try again when she wakes up. Putting my feet up now while i can..

My DTs are 2 next week and they're very similar. They 'no likey' things they wolfed down the day before, and mealtimes are getting stressful.

My winners are omelette or risotto, they almost always empty their plates if I serve these, although they often spit all of the veg out first!
We had lots of success when they helped to pod the peas to go into the risotto, in fact DTS ate loads of peas while he was podding them, so I think involving them in cooking helps.

They will eat fruit, which is lucky, so get most of their 5 a day from fruit, but it's better than nothing.

I also give them weetabix before bed if they've refused their tea, so they don't wake up too early. to help with the early waking, we've got a sleep trainer clock, and reward chart combined with a chocolate button if they stay in bed till 'sheepy' gets up. It's a bit hit & miss at the moment, but does work some mornings, for a blissful 6.25 start

She ate pretty much half a can of beans and half a slice of toast and a yogurt for lunch!

I must admit, I'm sticking to things I'm sure she'll like though as I'm tired and DH is out tonight - I can't deal with the arguments today.

Scrambled eggs used to be a hit but she doesn't seem so keen recently. Not tried risotto so might give that a go, thanks Ophelia. She did eat loads of frozen peas the other day while I was cooking so maybe I'll try that again too.

She's definitely too small to get the trainer clock. DS has one that I could borrow for her but she's too stubborn to take any notice of it. I tried books in her bed this morning in the hope that she'd read quietly for a bit (she'll spend ages sat looking through them during the day) but she just cried and launched them over the top so they made heavy bangs on the floor.

She's not interested in nap so i think I'm going to take them for a walk to tire her out a bit

This sounds like what a friend of mine had with her daughter. She was advised (can't remember by who) that she was filling up on too much brekkie so to change to fruit/yoghurt for breakfast instead. Seemed to do the trick for her.

Have you put your food into the Little Dish container, if she likes Little Dish so much? Maybe make a big deal of making it look like your food is in there?? I know that seems crap, ie. you've made the effort or whatever, but it could just be something to try to get her going....?

I have no idea what Little Dish food or containers are like, so don't know if in practice this might work by the way!!! Just grasping at straws.....

This all sounds exactly like my youngest DD. My eldest was and is a great eater but DD2 (20 months) is much much fussier. Her diet consists of a few basics (pasta, rice, sometimes mashed potato, some fruit and meat, but only if it's a roast) I too have really stressed over her not getting a balance and she can quite easily go a couple of days barely eating a thing.

I've found that although she won't eat bread, she will nibble on cheese flavoured rice cakes, and will also eat chunks of flour tortillas if she's refusing all else. The only other failsafe food is chicken nuggets homemage organic chicken goujons

It's so dispiriting making food for it just to be refused but as a friend pointed out to me, there's kids in Africa who have nothing but the smallest amount of rice and they survive. I worry about there not being enough variation, but have found it's best not to make a big thing out of it. The other way to get DD to eat something is often just to leave a plate of it on the coffee table and wander off - she is much more likely to eat of she thinks she's foraged or nicked food than if you actually want her to eat it!

HTH! x

did anyone watch that cherry healey thing on BBC3 last night? There was a bit where she was trying to get her daughter to eat - took 11hrs and a repeatedly reheated bowl of bolognaise. Not sure I have the energy for that.

I did however manage to get DD to eat a bowl of porridge for breakfast sat in the highchair (2 trips to naughty corner for throwing spoon on floor and spitting involved though) 2 oatcakes as midmorning snack whilst I drank coffee at the gym, took her to a cafe for lunch where she spread jam neatly on her toast but refused to touch it, cried for "chocolate mouse cake" (handmade belgian chocolate mice) which I told her she could have only if she ate toast, followed through and came away with no toast eaten but no chocolate eaten either. got home asleep in car work up "toast please mummy" ate a small slice of toast and peanut butter and is now asleep.

i meany wok up not work up

knickers I meant woke up i am so bad at typing

Hello - I think have the youngest fussy eater on the thread 12 months....today so far she has had: Maybe 1/3 slice toast for breakfast, a yoghurt and some EK mango puree. Snacks of breadsticks, raisins, spelt fingers. Threw most of her lunch on the floor - prob ate 1/5th crumpet, a bite of bread, 2 baby sweetcorn ( result!) a bite of spring onion, a bite of carrot. Dinner with be gnocci (sp?) with tom sauce, butternut squash mashed, and another concealed vegetable!! Her diet really lacks variety, I blame myself as I have not got the energy/inclination to make endless creative meals that will be rejected! Oh she's had about 4 BF's as well.

ZImm that sounds like more in a day than mine manages in a week! seriously that doesn't sounds fussy at all sounds brilliant going (not trying to belittle you or say your child isn't fussy but really at that age half a spoon or rice crispies and a petiti filous was major success for us)

I also sometimes think that we expect them to eat more in volume than their little tummies can do (and run the risk of obesity in later life if we succeed) eg DD weights about 9kg (2nd centile) my DH weighs 88kg. so altho I know toddlers have a proportionately higher calorie need than adults if she eats 20% of his calorie intake that's probably enough. Similarly I weight 60kg so If I'd eat 2 slices of toast for lunch half a slice is probably enough for her, same as a bowl of cereal for her is amazing as that's what I'd eat. snack wise we probably eat the same or she has more and then at dinner time if she manages 1/4 of a portion of something that's amazing. She also has gold top or blue top milk at wake up and bedtime so that's another good load of calories

She remains a total fusspot in relation to variety but in volume terms it's not a disaster (and at least she is growing - not been weighed for ages but has always been bang on the 2nd centile line in her red book and her jeans are suddenly way too short this week)

I might try that byhec Maybe giving her less breakfast is the way to go. She did eat way more than I expected at lunch after not being impressed with the change of breakfast this morning.

Rice cakes is a good idea tabbycat DD used to love the Organix berry flavoured ones. Wonder if she'd eat them now Will add them and some cheese ones to the shopping list for days when sandwiches are rejected. And the point about starving children is a good one. I guess they've got enough of a survival instinct not to starve themselves, variety is just a bonus.

anonymousbird Little Dish are basically ready meals for toddlers. They're made with no salt and sugar so are better than some but I'd rather she ate home cooked food obviously. I use them mostly as a quick meal for very rushed nights now and again. She will always eat them though even with Brocolli etc in. I've bought their cook book so I can try to recreate some - that's where the chicken pasta recipe was from that I was going to try last night. I always decant them into her own bowl before serving though so she doesn't really know what the container looks like I'm afraid.

Dh took over the TV last night so instead of the Cherry Healy thing I ended up watching something with aliens in. I can't imagine a bowl of Bolognese that's been reheated repeatedly for 11 hours would be worth eating. Surely it was just mostly bacteria by then! Yuk. You sound like you're having a bad day though sleepless, I hope she's hungry later.

Your breakfast sounds good Zimm as does the veg at lunch but I'd probably have been hoping for a bit more bread/crumpet eaten too. I hope the gnocci go down well, sounds good to me :)

DH is out for a curry with work tonight so I'm going to do something super easy and likely to bea eaten and then get myself a pizza once they're in bed. At least someone in this house will be getting some calories

Ha! after refusing a nap all day, DD has just fallen asleep on the sofa with her face on the cushins and her bottom up in the air. It doesn't look very comfy bless her

Glad you had a good lunch!

DD's eaten loads at friend's house and for dinner! She's had shedloads of fruit, but her veggies today have been a bit of onion in a quiche, a nibble of a lettuce leaf, and a couple of bits of sweetcorn chewed and spat back out.

Hope dinner's good for you too, Blathers.

We had a fab dinner. I'd got a thumping headache by dinner time so we went with Little Dish and she devoured the lot!! It was salmon and brocolli pasta bake - she'd have turned down everything but the pasta if I made it! She then had another yogurt. I did try some grapes while we were on a roll but she just sat there crying holding the bowl up going "Mamma, Mamma" like some backwards Oliver Twist so I don't think she was keen. She asked for milk before bed but didn't drink much of it so she must have been full. She was very, very tired after missing her nap too.

I'm pleased because we've had a good day and that she has had 3 of her 5-a-day (smoothie, beans and brocolli) but it's is pretty much down to me only feeding her her favourites. Back to trying normal home cooking again tomorrow. At least I know she's had plenty today which will mean she's not going to fade away. Will definitely do the different breakfast again and see if it helps if she's not quite so full by lunchtime.

I just hope she sleeps now as I'm soo tired

Hope everyone else had a good dinner...

DD ate 2 fishfingers and hummus and breadsticks for lunch and pasta / pesto with peas for supper. Yes, it's her usual failsafe food - but at least she ate. Am now going to be more aware of the size of her tummy (thanks sleeplessinderbyshire) go for small portions of new things alongside the favorites and am also going to try oatcakes.

Hi, can I join you all? My 22 month old is similarly low-variety at the moment (and low volume, and food-throwing, and only self-feeding if she really likes something ie yoghurt!) I feel like I've tried loads of things and meals are all getting a bit stressful so this weeks plan is to feed her only things she likes, to put her yoghurt out with her main course so what's out is what she gets (trying to cut down appeals for breadsticks or anything else through the meal) and to introduce/reintroduce new things alongside her preferred food. Tho' given that she's currently off meat, egg, potatoes, rice, couscous and vegetables this could take a while! I've no idea whether it'll work..

At the moment I'm just really pleased she's eaten really well today which for her means:
Breakfast - ReadyBrek with pot of fruit puree in it, small bowl of cereal
lunch - baked beans, yoghurt, soft fruit (refused toast)
tea - 2 fish fingers (!), a few peas, yoghurt, soft fruit (refused potato)

Right, who's swapped my baby with a new one?

She slept until 6.20 this morning and when I went in she'd been quietly reading the books I'd left in her bed. She didn't demand breakfast the second we got downstairs and when she did eat, she finished the entire (smaller than yesterday) bowl of hoops and then asked for more - twice! She didn't even run off when I was trying to dress her!

Now I need today to be as sucessful as yesterday so this can continue....that's going to be the hard bit!

And welcome DoraJo