Calling mums of small babies (ie low on growth charts)

[inameeting]

I don't know about you but I seem to be surrounded by massive babies - all the babies from my ante-natal group seem to be on from the 75th to off the scale (upwards!) centiles! They eat loads and loads, are always ravenous. And mums love to talk about it don't they.

Seems to be pretty much the same on here?

People always comment about how tiny my ds (5 months) is, or strangers (generally those with small kids themselves) seem to peer into his pushchair with a kind of critical look on their faces.

It's been getting me down a bit - I've stopped going to baby clinic and have started to make excuses so as not to meet the other ante-natal mums. I also have to make sure ds has got a hat on (thank goodness it's cold!) because people sometimes comment on how small his head is.

Last time I had him weighed (well over a month ago) he was between 2nd and 5th centile.

Are we just in a tiny minority (scuse the pun), or do others feel the same as me so just keep quiet?

Thanks Fishie - I've been giving ds baby rice on an evening for a few weeks, no made any difference yet though (apart from he seems to sleep better)

Sorry - slow typer atm - hurt my wrist...

Lockets - it's scary when you see them drop through the curves though isn't it?. Glad to hear she doing well!

Thanks Crunchie!

It was an elderly lady (a stranger in a shop) whose daughter apparently worked in SCBU so she was an 'expert' (??).

sam started off on 25th centile, then dropped to 0.4th, he's 2nd now I think. It's all genetic in our case, and Paeds agree. But at the time, that old lady scared me rigid.

the other I used to get was a telling off for smoking. I never did smoke, pg or not pg.

She must've been mad then Peachy - any rational person would've keep their mouth shut regardless of what they thought. Poor you. Glad to hear paeds are happy with your ds. Mine started off at 25th as well I think. Haven't been near the book for weeks now!

inam, i started solids at 24 weeks as am bfeeding and was pretty much ordered to give formula by a paediatrician, chose food instead.

a few spoonfuls of fruit / veg puree obv made no difference, neither will the baby rice for you i expect. it wasn't really worth starting early, except for both of us to get the hang of spoon feeding, but is good to plan what sort of things you'd like to give - i add extra calories where poss, a bit of cream cheese stirred into veg, cook pasta in chicken stock etc.

but then my ds really was underweight, whereas perhaps yours is just beautifully small?

Well he is a bit thin - certainly not chubby by any stretch, but he does look in proportion - I wonder what the advantages are to being chubby? I think I'm going to let him self-wean apart from tasters here and there and his evening baby rice which he loves - he's doing very well with the spoon and enjoys smearing it all over his hands/face/me. Cream cheese sounds good - my hv mentioned I should try him with some Philadelphia.

ds was just over 6 lb and 49 cm at birth. He is 3rd centile for length, weight about average for length. I'm 5'1 and dh is only about an inch taller, so no surprises there. He's been a steady but not spectacularly fast weight gainer - and I know the feeling that all babies around are piling it on! After a rocky start with bf we went on to bf successfully and when I was threatened with formula due to his 'smallness' I wasn't going to give in so easily - and my mw and usual paed backed me up. He is 6 1/2 mo, very very alert, pushing himself up on all fours and trying to crawl, grabs hold of anything within range.
I'm very proud of my small ds. Remember - there can't be bigness without smallness - and vice versa

Good for you Found with your breastfeeding!

You know, I really think that what would save a lot of worry for parents would be to have your personal curves worked out for you based on height/weight etc of mum and dad if one or both of you are smaller/taller than average. Or if baby was a preemie. Or if you are of a race other than caucasian. How hard could it be after all to print out an individual chart for everyone? It would stop hv's pressuring you into force feeding or using formula if you don't want to. It might've taken my ds out of the scary shaded area, stopped me feeling like a freak!

My DD was born on the 25th centile, but dopped over a year to below the lowest (is that the 2nd?) Stayed there for quite some time (is now about the 5th), but I never worried, as she hit all her milestones easily on target (crawled at 7 months etc), and was always a bright spark. My HV were never concerned because although she was small, she was so alert, as they used to put it.

She is now two, (25 months), weighs only 23lbs, and wears 9-12 or 12-18 month clothes, although I must admit to still put her in a couple of particularly large 6-9 month dresses which fit her nicely around the body, but is probably about an inch too short in the length, but hey!

The most annoying thing I find is that people look at her and say 'wow, she's really advanced for her age' and then they find out she's two and look really disappointed!?!

The other thing that annoys me is that people assume I don't feed her much, but she always has two breakfasts and two teas, and sometimes even two lunches at nursery, with a supper containing two weetabix, I don't think she goes hungry!

Oh charming Rarrie how people look disappointed when they know she's two! And to assume you don't feed her much -People can be so rude! I've had that actually, even though I feel like I'm constantly trying to get him to eat more, he simply doesn't want it! I've not been as bad trying to get him to eat as I was - this thread has helped, but dp, (not being used to things that don't come with a manual lol), reads the quantity table on the back of the formula and is hassles me throughout the day about how many mils ds has had.

I reckon ds now (aged almost 8) is about on 25th for height and 9th for weight. dd at 4 is around 9th for height and under 2nd for weight.

DD3 is on the 2nd Centile. She's gorgeous, lovely and petite.

I know it's hard, but try not to compare with other people's babies. They are all so different. My friend had 3 teeny tiny babies who all grew to be beautiful tall children. I know others who have had positive monster sized children who are now the wee ones in their classes.

Besides they don't make diamonds as big as stones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oooo, this touches a nerve with me. 2nd was 6 13 at birth and is growing as per her curve but have one friend with a daughter of same age who always says "Isn't she little?" when we meet. Have to brace myself before meeting her since know she will say this. It touches a nerve for us, I think, because it's implying we did something "wrong" when pregnant or when feeding them. HAve to say, have had no hassle from HV. Get her weighed infrequently but the "weighing woman" always makes a point of saying she looks fine. I know she is - very alert, "crawling" around at my feet now and trying to pull out the pc cables But it still bugs you people comment doesn't it?

Because I've had three of the little ones, I rather like the comments now. I think it makes them a bit extra precious. it's like they're my 'babies' for longer (and I get an awful lot more wear out of clothes than other people )

My dinkiedoo is described in her red book as being on the 0.4th percentile, which is being kind because she is really below all the growth lines, and has been so since she was a foetus. I'm 5 ft but dh is 6 ft! Just turned up and sewed her trouser legs to shorten them. 6 months later, will let them down again for another 6 months of wear. She is my little dolly with the teeniest wrists imaginable

Aw they all sound gorgeous Ds too is still wearing some of the things he wore shortly after he was born and still hasn't grown into his M&S 3-6 month sleepsuits!

Tinker - your friend sounds soo annoying and a bit ignorant if you don't me saying so - doesn't she realise she says the same thing every time?? I think I'd have to say something to her - hope she makes up for it in other ways.

I get a bit upset when people mention his small head! He's in proportion, but obviously they don't see the rest of him when out and about in his snowsuit.

My dd is pretty teeny too, born 6lbs 14oz, and has stuck pretty much to the 9th percentile all the way (now 8 months). I find that most of my friends/ante natal mums etc all say "she is so petite, so delicate", in a sort of longing way (most of them have giant sons ).... I'm so sorry that you have experienced so much negativity! I just love my petite teeny dd, who really looks like a tiny person more than a baby (no fleshy rolls of anything anywhere). I'm with blueshoes about the little dolly thing. She is still wearing 2-4 months trousers and 3-6 months trousers too....! Mind you, I would love it if she would eat just a little bit more....

Hi

My ds (now 12 months) was born average 7.7lbs but dropped to the 9th pervcentile where he has stayed. He is also on the 75th percentile for length so he is pretty thin, yet he eats an amazing amount. All my antenatal friends are amazed when they see him eat. As for his head I stopped having it measured as it created so much worry. I had about 6 scans in pregnancy all because his head was small. It still is but in proportion. He had never had rolls of baby fat and is just built that way.

I am sure people are not being critical when they make comments. It is usually just a way of making conversation. You know 'goodness isn't he big? sort of thing. I have a friend who's son is very big and she gets upset at comments about that as she's worried people think she is overfeeding him and making him fat. You can't win if you think everything people say is coming from a critical standpoint. Most times it isn't.

Anna

Haven't read all the thread inameeting, but I would say, all babes are different. DS1 didn't even get onto the centile chart DD2 only just made it onto the chart but DS3 is on the 50th! Weighs at 7 months what DD2 weighed at over 2 years!!!! Personally, I think smaller babes are much cuter!!

Sorry haven't had time to read everyone's replies, but just wanted to pitch in: ds shrank from 92nd centile at birth to 9th for the next 8 months or so. Age 2 he is average. You know your baby so much better than everyone else, you know if he is fine or not. If you can bring yourself to ignore everyone else and rely on that core instinct... well I know easier said than done, but this whole centile thing is a horrible situation - someone's baby has to be 'last' and if everyone wants their children to grow bigger and bigger then it just gets worse for the next generation of parents. Please take heart, bet this thread is full of sympathisers.

I'm really glad I started this thread - I feel so much better - just wish you were all in my post-natal group!

Small babies are particularly beautiful aren't they

Definitely no rolls of flesh on mine either!

It's really interesting to hear how some of your babies have fluctuated so much - all the professionals I've spoken to seem to assume babies stay on the same line.

Annalucia - thanks for your post, I really glad to find another soul who's been as paranoid about head size as me!! All the doctors and my hv say he's in proportion - and he does look to me to be so too, but you just can't help worrying can you? I know what you mean about thinking people are being critical all the time - I just got like that a bit when I felt worried about him. I'm not normally like that at all

I can now concentrate on worrying about how to stop him waking up at 5 am!

Won't start another topic here but waking at 5am is our bugbear too at the moment

I went through this with dd, who was small due to syndrome but otherwise appeared normal.
dd was on the 0.4, we actually adjust her age now to strangers (shes 3 but size of 18-24mth old)

It is weird as my ds who is nearly 12 yrs old was on the 99.6 from 3 weeks after birth and he is still there now
I have one of each.

Bonus about small babies, they cost you less as they do not grow so quick and their clothes last longer