Calling mums of small babies (ie low on growth charts)

[inameeting]

I don't know about you but I seem to be surrounded by massive babies - all the babies from my ante-natal group seem to be on from the 75th to off the scale (upwards!) centiles! They eat loads and loads, are always ravenous. And mums love to talk about it don't they.

Seems to be pretty much the same on here?

People always comment about how tiny my ds (5 months) is, or strangers (generally those with small kids themselves) seem to peer into his pushchair with a kind of critical look on their faces.

It's been getting me down a bit - I've stopped going to baby clinic and have started to make excuses so as not to meet the other ante-natal mums. I also have to make sure ds has got a hat on (thank goodness it's cold!) because people sometimes comment on how small his head is.

Last time I had him weighed (well over a month ago) he was between 2nd and 5th centile.

Are we just in a tiny minority (scuse the pun), or do others feel the same as me so just keep quiet?

My ds isnt on the centile (low end) he has almost been on it once or twice. He is now 13 months and weighs 15lb 6oz. He does have all round problems but that is another story. He fits into 6-9 months clothes and has done for a while so we really get our moneys worth on his clothing!

Well, we are in the minority, thats the point of the chart. ie in 100 babies only 2-5 would be smaller.
ds1 started off an average 50centile chap for weight and 75th for height. Now at 5yo he is on the 2-5thcentile for both, ie he fluctuates between the 2. Yes, we worry. He didnt grow at all for 18mo and ended up being investigated for growth hormone deficiency, fortunately all normal, but he is v aware of being te smallest. He gets comments about being a baby still, which is upsetting for him.
There's nothing we can do, the specialist was quite dismissive. "He's just inherited all of our short genes". Great!! We're awaiting one more blood test and an XRay to check boney maturity, so we'll wait and see.

Hi Epiffany - I'm sorry you feel you have to adjust your dd's age for strangers - i can understand it though. I've felt like doing that myself just to spare ourselves "the look" we get or the "oo isn't he small" comments.

JInglebadbells - I saw your ds on I think on Member Profiles? He is gorgeous and looks not a million miles away from mine Does he have ongoing problems? You're in the right place here if he does, some of the mums here are so experienced and there's bound to be someone who can share things with you

Honeybun - good luck with the bone maturity test. Sounds like you've been through it a bit with his growth patterns. I guess it's easier being a small baby than it is being a small kid.

There are other threads which deal with this issue (one on small heads and one on Health Visitors). This country is obsessed with charts and they are a pretty blunt instrument for instance they were calculated for bottle-fed babies and don't apply to breast fed babies at all and they don't take ethnic differences into account (black babies are usually bigger than average and asian babies smaller apparently). Most of us wouldn't worry about our babies' weight if it weren't for the charts and the beloved Health Visitors.

Both my breast-fed babies were towards the bottom of the charts with ridiculously small heads. DD1 took about a year to get near average and at 3 1/2 she is now probably above average for weight and height. Dd2 at 18 months (bf till 13 months and 4 weeks prem) still gets regular visits from the HV because she is below average in weight and these are starting to drive me mad because like her sister she's obviously fine. The HV weighs her, marks her chart and has no other function apart from wasting my time!! dd1 walked at 10 months at which point we stopped worrying and is now considered advanced for her age and dd2 is walking, talking, happy and healthy just not fat. I have no doubt she will get closer to average in weight and height and probably surpass it over time. It actually makes me quite cross that the NHS encourages mums to worry about their babies being skinny when this country is experiencing an ever-growing obesity crisis which researchers are suggesting has links to bottle-feeding and over-feeding babies.

ds3 was 8lb 13 oz at birth and is now on the 2nd centile at 13 months - just went down steadily and then didn't put on any weight for about 3 months. But he looks similar in build to both the others, is active and alert so not even the health visitor is concerned! He's wearing a mixture of 9-12 and 12 -18 month clothes - but mainly because I think I've shrunk them over the years. His feet are size 3 and seem freakily big to me.

I agree Spiderfan - in my experience, podgy big babies are definitely de rigeur at the moment, otherwise I wouldn't have felt compelled to start this thread, and maybe the charts have been instrumental in this - I suppose it's human instinct to want to be at the top of any charts etc we're presented with. I wonder if they are therefore consequently partly responsible for the growing problem we have with child obesity?? It's an interesting point.

LizP - your ds3 must be a slim jim if those feet look big

Spiderfan - did they take your dd2 being prem when they started plotting her chart.

When they started plotting ds's chart (he was 3 weeks early) i was told they started the chart as if he was full term and only took being early into account if they were very early (can't remember the cut off point). Ds would be much more average if he had gone full term.

But if thats generally the case then they are bound to be smaller than normal aren't they? And it's probably the same for those who go over 2 weeks and have a larger baby??

Sorry that should be "Did they take your dd2 being premature into account when they started plotting her chart"

centile charts are designed and based according to bottle feed babies. So they are not honestly be applied to small babies, premature babies or breast feed babies.

The World Health Org (WHO) are currently trialing a new centile chart for Breast feeding babies.

My new ds was born small... 2.4kg.. which is 5.3ozs. He has put on .5 kg in one week and feedng well. Babies come in all shapes and sizes. Stand tall inameeting and say well he is a joy to carry, I am SO glad not to have a heavy baby!!! Well thats one thing I say.

Or just be straight up and sigh and say... "Gosh, people always say this" "He is healthy and happy" - "size is irrelevent!!!"

in other words pawn off their words

All the best!

my daughter has always been tiny (not that tiny at birth, 6 14) but she is compared to other babies and people seem to thin its alright to have a dainty girl but boys should be big, dont worry about what other people say, tell them he's perfect for his size (in other words he grow when he wants to) remember not all babies are the same, and these charts dont help anyone, as long as he's not losing weight dont worry!!!!

Oh dear - my ds will come out even lower then on the new charts as he's formula fed (nightmare delivery etc - gave up on bfing, well, ebming - after about 3 weeks)

Went to my post natal group today and no one said anything that annoyed me about him. Maybe they could tell I got a bit irked last time I went lol.

Hi, glad you started this thread inameeting i have ds 6 month born 5 weeks early at 2 kg, and though adjusted for his prem still towards bottom of the chart he headed towards the 50th line but has come back down to under the 75th. He's fine just not putting on as much weight as the charts say he should (what do they know ). But then i look at him and he's constantly wriggling about and burns off more energy than other babies about him the majority of who are big.
Its hard though isnt it even when your head knows they are fine and healthy but you still worry and the charts dont help or thats what i find but interesting point about childhood obesity. I have started weaning and am trying to find calorie rich foods wish I could say the same about my self!

Inameeting - yes you probably did see him on profiles, my little pumpkin etc. Yes he does have ongoing problems and we are waiting for some kind of diagnosis, they think he has a small head but he is all still really small. His head was 38.5cms last thurs! He still doesnt fit into his 0-3 months hat properly yet!!!!!!

I also have a small baby - she is nearly one and weights about 16 lbs. She was 50th centile at birth and dropped down at 8 weeks below centile and had been below centile until about 9/10 months. We had a referral to pediatrician at 8 weeks and we went every 2 months to have her weighed, measured, etc etc.

SHE IS FINE JUST SMALL!!!

sorry for shouting there, but its such a nonsense for these smaller babies getting referred. Very few larger babies do - I mean, dd2 had blood tests, lots of poking and prodding. I had the benefit of having had a small dd1 as well so wasn't overly worried, it must be worse for a first time parent.

Banthambabe - yep if it wasn't for the charts (oh, and baby development books lol) I probably wouldn't have worried at all. My hv suggested full fat Philadelphia was a good food to fatten up babies by the way. Before I start using calorie rich food for ds, though I'd like to know exactly what the benefits are of baby being fat.

Jinglebadbells - he looked so cute - if not entirely happy about his pumpkin outfit lol

Hana - being a first time mum is a bit of a mind f* on all levels I have to say. Having a small baby hasn't helped! I'm glad you had some background though that helped you through the tests and stuff.

my dd is small and as a first time young mum (i had her at 17) sometimes i felt i should be worrying about it but she was a happy healthy baby! shes 14months and weighs about 16 lb, dont worry they all different and im sure they are all fine, just try and enjoy them!!!

17?! There's a lot to be said for having babies young - mine would be 18 now if I'd had him at 17! Blimey - I could be a grandma!!