Calling mums of small babies (ie low on growth charts)

[inameeting]

I don't know about you but I seem to be surrounded by massive babies - all the babies from my ante-natal group seem to be on from the 75th to off the scale (upwards!) centiles! They eat loads and loads, are always ravenous. And mums love to talk about it don't they.

Seems to be pretty much the same on here?

People always comment about how tiny my ds (5 months) is, or strangers (generally those with small kids themselves) seem to peer into his pushchair with a kind of critical look on their faces.

It's been getting me down a bit - I've stopped going to baby clinic and have started to make excuses so as not to meet the other ante-natal mums. I also have to make sure ds has got a hat on (thank goodness it's cold!) because people sometimes comment on how small his head is.

Last time I had him weighed (well over a month ago) he was between 2nd and 5th centile.

Are we just in a tiny minority (scuse the pun), or do others feel the same as me so just keep quiet?

My first ds was on the huge side. Always at the top of the charts - and still is. My second was on about the 2nd percentile and stayed small for a long time. SO I have seen it from both sides. Both of them were born on about the same weight. I think all babies are different and if people comment, just smile and say how beautiful you think he is.

Don't despair, and please don't stop going to the clinic. Our dd started life on about the 50th centile, but didn't gain any weight; infact, some weeks she actually lost weight. We were beside ourselves with worry. We were referred to a paediatrician, who we saw every other week, eventually she seemed to stabalise on about the 8th centile. When she had been contstant for about a month, he said that basically she was a normal healthy little girl.
Her physical and mental development were normal for her age, it was just that she was small, and still is! She is a good 3-4 inches smaller than her peer group, but, she has developed a BIG personality to make up for it (she is nearly 3 now)
It's really wierd, 'cos her brother (5) has always been on the 91st centile, so the relative difference is staggering!

Could you ask you HV to call into your home, just to check that his progress is OK, as long as he is in proportion (weight v height), and his general development is fine, you shouldn't be made to feel down about it. We are all individuals who 'grow' at our own pace.

Please be proud of your baby, I'm sure that what he lacks in size at the moment will be more than made up for in many different areas.

well im a small person...4ft 11 and it was not a surprise that my DS turned out to be a small baby...he weighed 7lb3oz at birth...which is perfectly normal...and hit the normal marker up until 10months...then really slowed down....he is now 19months and is the size of what an average 11-12month old is....he is in 9-12month clothes and is dinky for his age! ...i wa concerned at first but to be honest no one in the health profession will really listen until the 2yr check up.....so im putting it down to he henherited this trate from me...and GOOD THINGS COME IN LITTLE PACKAGES! when ppl ask on the bus or out somewhere how old he is they almost dont believe me...but with his long blonde hair and talking away they are finally convinced! some people say 'gosh he's got a grown up face for a little baby'...i say he's got a grown up face for a little toddler!
i wouldnt worry too much about how big or small they are....they are what they are and will always be loved for it! ...if there is anything to worry about then a HV will make you aware of it.

inherited* (henherited? 'eh?!)

my ds is 27wks and has always had a small appetite, he only has between 4-5 fluid ozs per bottle, and i've tried to start weaning but he's not interested in that either. he was 6lb 9oz at birth and had been following the 50th centile, but since about 20wks he's started droping down. has been ill with a bad cold and ear infection recently and went completley off milk, in fact there was one day he only has 2 fluid ozs all day. he lost 1lb in 2 weeks and is now 15lb 13ozs, so has dropped to the 9th centile.

i don't worry about weight too much, it is just a guide, all babies are different builds etc. as long as your baby is happy and healthy, thats the main thing. i know what you mean about being surrounded by big babies!, its like that at our baby clinic. i tend to just dash in, weigh him and dash out as i've got dd with me too. only get him weighed once a month usually.

Luciasti - mine will only drink about that too. He's still not taking the amount his peers were at about 2 months!

Faeriemum - I'm only a couple of inches taller than you and my dp is 5ft 10 and a half, so I suppose ds was never going to be huge. And of corse, I heartily agree that good things come in small packages! lol

Hadalifeonce - ds is very smiley and alert, he's a bit skinny compared to most, but always has been, so I'm sure he's ok, but would definitely call the HV if I thought he was ill. How odd for you and IlanaK for your babies to be so different!! - Ilana - did your ds2 ever go up the charts? it's just you said that he stayed small for a long time,

Do babies ever go up the charts?

I don't mind at all if ds is going to remain a titch - he'll make up for it in other ways, already he's far more gorgeous than any other baby I've seen

dd was born on the 2nd centile and is still on it (she is 3.5 now).

Small children are great. They stay longer in each clothes/shoe size so you don't have to spend so much. All the mums with kids the same age pass their clothes on to you too. It takes way longer before they can reach door handles, kitchen sufaces etc. They don't eat so much - still don't need to buy dd her own meal when we eat out. They're so much easier to carry around. And everyone thinks they are geniuses. Fantastic.

ds (9mo) is just below the 50th centile. Its quite strange having a child in the right size clothes for his age!

DD2 was born on 50th centile, then dropped steadily over the next 3 months until she was on 2nd.
HV was convinced she was Failure to Thrive and spoke of paeds etc. But she was just destined to be small.
She walked by a year, and has a huge appetite now.
Before she was weaned she often only had 15 oz a dsay. But she eats more than DD1 now!!

I like the fact she is tiny. It is true that their clothes fit longer, and she always looks funny running around, as though she is too little!

She is 16 months now, and mostly in 6-9 month clothes, though sometimes 9-12 months. And has size 3 shoes - Clarkes' smallest!!

my DD is little, shes 18months and in 9/12 or 12/18 month clothes, her feet are only a 4. my HV always said it didnt really matter too much what centile they were on, as long as they remain pretty constant in their growth, following the same curve. i wouldnt worry too much, it takes allsorts to make this world.

DS was born quite big - 8lb 10oz and on 75th. He stayed there till about 16 weeks, then started not gaining or losing an ounce or two - so I just stopped going to see the HV - I could see he was happy, healthy, incredibly alert, etc.

Have had him weighed every now and then since (he's 19mo now - he was weighed at 9m, 12m and 18m) - he has steadily dropped to the 9th centile and is there or thereabouts.

He's in a size 4.5 shoe, wears 9-12m trousers (he could possibly do with them a little bit longer, but the 12-18m ones don't stay up round his waist!) and 12-18m tops. He's 20mo today and didn't eat much to begin with at 6m, but has steadily increased his appetite - he regularly eats more than me these days!

He's in proportion, adorably cheeky and has such a sweet nature - he's just not all that big. DH and I aren't huge, so he's not likely to be massive.

I would say don't worry unless your DS is unhappy or looks ill. Otherwise, someone has to be on the lower centiles - fwiw, I know a little boy who's off the bottom of the chart and always has been - and he's always been the first to roll, sit, walk, etc, etc.

Remember being on the 5th centile simply means that your child is one of 5 in every hundred at that size or smaller. dd is 4, still only 13kg and wears 98cm clothes and a size 6 shoe. She was just under 7lbs at birth and walked well at a year at which time she was the average size of a 6 month old so looked rather curious !

Yes, mums love to talk about weight/size but I'm afraid that is part of the general competitive baby thing. It will soon progress onto how much they can eat, how well they sit, first to crawl, illness etc and size won't necessarily come into it. You at least can be grateful that his clothes, car seats etc will last longer.

ds was similar to dd as a baby and toddler but now looks perfectly in line height wise with his class as he seemed to grow more rapidly around the age of 5. I don't think dd is necessarily going to be the same but as dh and I were both small and skinny at that age we are not concerned.

hth

My DD is now 27 months, she is a size 4 shoe and has been since July - she is 80 cms tall and wears 9-12 months clothes.

When she was a baby she drunk very little milk and had a small appetite - this has not changed.

She weighs 21lbs which is laughable because my 2nd dd who is 1 this week weighs 19lb.

I don't worry anymore (i used to), she is happy and healthy and hits her milestones.

Everybody calls her a little dot or dolly - she's just sooooo cute!

My DTs are small, they will be 2 on Monday and they weigh about 22lb each and wear 12-18 months clothes.
The only problem I have is remembering they are toddlers now, and not still babies

Lol at all the advantages of having a small baby! I've already been given some outgrown clothes by a mum who's ds is a month younger!

lizs - did your ds go up the charts then?

The in-laws didn't help over the weekend to be honest, their other grandchildren are huge and really active and noisy - my ds seems very quiet and tiny of course in comparison - they kept making little comments and I came away thinking they think there's something the matter. I don't normally take any notice of what they say or think, but I suppose it must've got under my skin a bit.

But I feel a bit better now thanks. It's great to know there are other titches out there All your kids sound delightful! I've got some adorable images of your tiny ones walking whilst still the size of babies! and lol at the small feet - mine are only a 2!!

I've decided ds is going to be either a musician, actor or jockey

Hi inameeting, I know just what you mean. Ds was ony 6lb 5oz when born, & is now 2 months and just above the 2nd centile at 9lb 7oz. He's not as heavy or gaining weight as quickly as other people in my post-natal group but he is following the curve nicely and the hv reassures me that he is doing well and i shouldn't worry.

I get people coming up to me in shops and saying things like "Oh he's new, how old is he" and i feel like i'm lying when i say 8 & 1/2 weeks.

My brother was only 5lb 5oz when he was born and is now a mucsley 6' 5", 15 stone hulk so I'm not too worried.

Besides i quite like having a littl 'un he's just so cute

My DS1 was on the 75th centile or something at birth. By four months, he was on the 2nd centile. Now, at four, he's back on the 75th centile. Sometimes, it's just one of those things. He was a bit thin as a baby, but not alarmingly so. He's still thin now, but not small at all.

Blimey! You just don't know what's in store for your little ones do you?! I don't know - I was given the centile chart as (in my case) a very inexperienced new mum and presumed that ds had to adhere to some line not too close to the bottom. The bottom lines (from the 9th downwards in my book) are shaded in a different colour to the rest of the chart so that's been freaking me out somewhat - like it's a danger zone or something. The top lines are shaded too but no one seems to mind their babies being at the top!

I did hear of one HV who said that the aim was for all babies to be on the 50th centile or above. NOT a top mathematician, that HV

I've said this on MN before, but when DS1 was tiny (in all senses of the word- he was weighing about 4lbs 6 oz at the time- low birth weight combined with milk allergy) someone asked if he was going to die.

That was six years ago, (Sam six today - where has that gone?) since then I have had two more small ones and become used to it, but hey're all small still and from time to time I look round and think 'are you ever gonna grow', but tusually I'm just amazed how HUGE other peoples kids are.

Happy birthday to Sam, PPF!

No! Not much pressure for her clients then

my ds (7 months) was 50th centile at birth, then quickly dropped down to just under the bottom until 6 months - he always gained weight, but was a little thin. since starting solids he's put on loads of weight and is now on 9th centile and climbing. not sure if this would have happened anyway or if solids have given extra boost (not recommending early weaning, esp bad for tiny babies).

anyway 2nd/5th centile nothing whatsoever to worry about and i agree, small babies are just so cute and much cheaper on the clothes.

that was to Munker's post

gosh Peachy - what an idiotic thing to say! Who would say something like that?!

my dd has never really hit the chart \tbh She was tiny at birth 1 lb 12 and managed to reach the 3rd centile at 3. But it is all c**p it is an average, which means AT LEAST 3% of the population are her size or smaller