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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2y3month old not in bed yet

20 replies

ticktickboom · 27/07/2011 20:22

my 2.3yo is still in her cot. this is because she still doesnt sleep right through the night. she wakes up every few hours wanting a bottle or to play (she doesnt get to play) and im scared if she wakes up through the night she could hurt herself while im asleep. my friends that have got kids the same age as my little one had theirs in a bed from about 16 months on. i feel like i have left it too late because i got a lot of snide comments from them when i admitted that she was still in her cot.

I really want to make the change into the bed but she doesnt always cry or shout on me when she wakes up. I have woken up by chance some nights and went through and she would be sitting drawing or playing quietly with her dolls or teddys.

do you think i should leave it until she is sleeping right through or just go for it now and put a stairgate on her bedroom door?

please dont be nasty to me this is my first child and im only 22 so still got a lot to learn! i am trying my hardest to sort her sleeping routine because she used to be a fantastic sleeper up until recently and now she just doesnt want to sleep.

OP posts:

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Gastonladybird · 27/07/2011 20:25

Firstly I dont think it's that late (some people don't change til 3). Also playing happily in cot can translate to bed (albeit with my dd she can simply pile more tat in to play with ) so may not lose that self sufficiency function.
The sleep one is tricky as you could wait then find move to a bed makes her regress. My view would be go for it with bed guards and gate on door.

CarrieOakey · 27/07/2011 20:26

You might find putting her into as bed makes her sleep better. She might be more comfortable. That was the case for my DS.

How about putting a stair gate up at her bedroom door so she can't get out and hurt herself?

Don't listen to your friends and their comments. You will both get there in your own time. Remember it's not a race

SJisontheway · 27/07/2011 20:40

What a strange thing to be judged on. IMO as long as they are happy to go in and not trying to climb out there's no rush on moving to a bed. I've known many not to move to a bed till 3.

Debs75 · 27/07/2011 21:17

could it be the light nights which has disrupted her sleeping?

My dd only went to her bed at 2,8 and it improved her sleeping. SHe is still in our room so often gets in our bed if she wakes upset. As your dd is in your room I would put a stair gate on her door and be prepared for a few nights soothing her back to her bed.

Good Luck

MEBMotherof3 · 27/07/2011 21:36

I also have an April 2009 child and we recently, 3 weeks ago, took him out of his cot into a bed. We were really worried about what he'd be like as he doesn't sleep very well but have to say it's gone brilliantly. Ok he still doesn't sleep very well but he seems to get less frustrated because he CAN get out of bed and play (or more often look at a book) rather than feeling "trapped" in a cot I guess. My advice would be to do it but put a stair gate on the door and chose carefully what toys are in the bedroom (believe me it's not good being woken up at 3 am to the sound of a fire engine!!!). Should say that my DS falls asleep on the floor quite a lot but it doesn't seem to bother him! Good luck

Ivortheengine8 · 27/07/2011 21:43

Like MEB we took DD out of her cot a few days ago because she climbed out and fell on the floor and I caught her again trying to climb over the top so I thought it was too dangerous to leave her in. It was only because of that though and I really wish we could have left it longer.
Surprisingly though she has been fine, although we catch her sneaking around after we have put her to bed but generally she is doing really well.
Having said that she has been sleeping through the night since about 12 months very well.

Firawla · 27/07/2011 22:54

I wouldn't do it just because you are worried about other people judging. If you feel she is fine in her cot still and you and her are both happy with it I don't see the harm in sticking to it. I only took my toddlers sides off because he climbed out so became dangerous, but for ds2 he's showing less sign of jumping over it so I might leave it on a bit longer. 2.3 is not that old and it can make life difficult when they are in a bed and don't stay in it! So leaving it til slightly later if they are not jumping out or upset with the sides, might make life easier as when she comes out of the cot she will be that bit older to understand about staying in bed.

Liv77 · 28/07/2011 00:27

Don't know if I can offer you any advice OP. If it makes you feel any better my DS is 3.4 and still in his cot-bed with the side bars on. He has a new bed ready and waiting which he helped choose along with the bedding etc and has been in place since his 3rd birthday however he still refuses to actually sleep in it. I'm hoping he'll do it soon .I will shortly be needing the cot-bed for DD who is rapidly outgrowing the moses basket.

I'm trying not to make a big deal about it and on the plus side if he wakes up too early he'll usually just go back to sleep.

Don't worry about what other people think. If you want to try with a bed and gate on the door then try it and see, if she's tired and cranky the next morning you'll know she was up playing.

I agree with the poster above though that these things are always easier when the children and a bit older and understand more easily whats expected of them. I waited with potty training until just before DS turned 3 and if was much easier than I expected and he got the hang of it much quicker and with hardly any accidents compared to DC we know who'd trained earlier. (and we did get the "oh aren't you toilet -training yet comments from the pushy mums brigade too). DS wasn't much of a talker, although now you can't shut him up , I decided there was no point training until he'd be happy to ask to go to the toilet.

holyShmoley · 28/07/2011 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pipkin35 · 28/07/2011 09:45

:o at HolyShmoley
Two penneth's worth: DD is 2.3 yrs too and still in cot. In one of those sleeping bag things too. She's staying in cot til she tries to climb out!
DS was in cot til week before his 3rd b-day. Then went into cot bed. Like other people have said, we found the longer we left it the better (and with other stuff too).
They undestood much more, could get involved in choosing duvet covers, bedding etc...
With our 2.3 yr old we also found sleep went funny, turns out she can now do without a nap, or just needs a much shorter one - sleeps better now since we jiggled. Developed a fear of the dark too though, so we bought a nightlight.

Original poster

ticktickboom · 30/07/2011 08:49

thank you so much for your comments. I feel a lot better now knowing its ok to leave it a bit later. I shall see how things go because (touch wood) she has slept right through the night for the past week. first time in over 2 years i have had a full nights sleep and it was amazing!

i think i am going to wait until she is a bit older and then let her choose the bed and bedding etc so it wont be too daunting for her.

thank you all :)

OP posts:

Ivortheengine8 · 30/07/2011 21:00

If she has just started sleeping through then I would definately leave her for the time being as it might upset her again. As I said, if I could have left mine for longer I would have. You sound like you are doing your very best for her so she will be fine. :)

pussinwellyboots · 30/07/2011 21:15

lots of good advice in the previous posts, but just wanted to add that my ds has only just had cot turned into toddler bed, just after turning 3.

Also I found it so easy to feel competitive about things that now seem silly and to think that my child was 'behind' when others had moved them onto the next stage eg: forward facing car seats, their own room, pull up nappies etc etc, there are so many things that really won't make a difference to their development and you just need to do whats right for you.

Bumpsadaisie · 01/08/2011 15:20

We've just moved our DD, 2.2, to a bed a week ago as wanted to get her used to it before DC2 arrives and needs the cot in a few months. She was sleeping through but even so I worried what would happen if she did wake up.

I just close the door as she is not yet able to work the quite stiff handle.

Incidentally lots of friends have said that moving to a big bed has made the child's sleeping better, not worse. My DD has really surprised me with how easily she made the transition. I literally now read a story, sing a song, kiss her and say "goodnight sweetheart" and then at the the door blow a kiss (she blows one back) and then close it and that's the last we hear of her for 12 hours! And this is a child where I used to have to sit singing songs till she was really dropping off, only a month ago.

TBH it has been quite emotional for me - after two years of wishing she would just settle herself, now she does, I feel like I've lost my little baby! Its just such a grown up thing, when they settle in a big bed by themselves.

Even if your DD was generally sleeping through there would be no guarantee that she would ALWAYS do so - so I would go for stairgate/closed door and a baby monitor.

Tiggles · 01/08/2011 21:59

DS3 will be 3 in 6 weeks time and he is still in a cot - there isn't room in his room for a bed.
This week we are on holiday and he is in a bed and sleeping in it fine. Not sure he will be too impressed when we go home...!

Davsmum · 02/08/2011 13:43

I don't think it matters whether she is in a bed yet,..so long as she sleeps.
Whats more important is do not give her a bottle if she wakes in the night. If she wakes every few hours and gets a bottle - she will keep waking every few hours - Break this habit because she is not a baby now and should not need a bottle in the night ?

brettgirl2 · 02/08/2011 17:01

I have no intention of moving my 2.3 year old out of her cot in the near future. She sleeps well is happy and as a result so am I!

cottonreels · 02/08/2011 21:49

My dd is 21 months and likes to pretend to sleep in the single bed in her room, but when its actually time to say "night, night" I put her in her cot with the sides up. She hasnt shown any signs of trying to climb out so she'll be in there until she does! The only reasons Id take her out of the cot are if shes potty trained (might need the toilet in the night) or shes outgrown her cot. As neither are looking likely yet am enjoying the peace while it lasts!

Please don't think people will be nasty to you here - these boards are used for support and those who aren't supportive aren't worth listening to. In my opinion, that Im nearly twice your age doesnt make me any better able to make all these little decisions about how to do x y and z for our Lo's. I do think that maturity makes you realise that its ok not to have all the answers and to just 'wing' it on the small stuff. Good on you for trying to ask for help and make sure you give an air of total confidence when you tell your friend your decision

PelvicFloorOfSteel · 02/08/2011 22:00

DS1 was 2.8 when he moved to a bed, I really can't see why you'd want to rush it if you don't have to (we needed to recycle the cot for DS2 and wanted it to be out the way for long enough in between that DS1 didn't still think it was his). I think most people I know moved their DC out when they started climbing out or when they needed the cot for DC2.

If your DD is sleeping through I definitely wouldn't rock the boat without good reason.

tremayne · 02/08/2011 23:22

mine is 2.2 and still in a cot (one that turns into a bed if you take the sides/rails off)

He will stay there until he can climb out or he gets upset by the bars or he becomes potty trained.. can't see any happening for a while yet!

I do have a gate on his bedroom door- v handy when I want to pop him in his room and go for a shower etc. I know he is safe in there, and our stairs are v steep and dangerous!

Don't let your friends dictate how you bring up YOUR baby. Tricky I know as peer pressure (competition) is huge amongst mum friends.

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