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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Aargh surely nursery should respect my wishes?!

26 replies

Lexiejack · 20/07/2011 15:52

DS goes to nursery and he is 2.5. At his keyworker meeting on Monday I was asked rather pointedly what we were doing about potty training. DS was sent in by me in pants this morning but when I collected him he was in a pull up as he'd not told them when he wanted the toliet and they had to watch the carpets!!! The nursery is ran by MIL and I told her and DS's key worker this morning that he was in pants and I was uplifting him every 15mins. Very angry that they've gone against this and put him back in a nappy!! Is this normal in nurseries?

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Original poster

Lexiejack · 20/07/2011 15:53

Toileting him not uplifting him!!

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asecretlemonadedrinker · 20/07/2011 15:54

What is uplifting? How dry is he? I would be pretty mad if they were holding back the work I was doing with potty training!

asecretlemonadedrinker · 20/07/2011 15:55

Can your DS tell when he needs a wee? Or is it try every 15 mins and see if you have success?

scurryfunge · 20/07/2011 15:57

If you had pretty much cracked the training then I would be annoyed too. It is best to get a clear run at potty training when you have time at home over a week when he is not at nursery. What is the ratio of staff to children?

Original poster

Lexiejack · 20/07/2011 15:59

There's 26 children, 5 staff and 3 volunteers. He knows when he's going but I had him in pants to get used to being wet and uncomfertable as wet nappies don't faze him!

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bumpybecky · 20/07/2011 16:02

so he's not trained at all then and you're expecting them to let him pee on the carper?

I'd have been very comment from the keyworker on monday - he's 2.5 and can't tell you he needs to go, I think he should be in nappies a bit longer.

Original poster

Lexiejack · 20/07/2011 16:10

I'm expecting them to take him to the toliet every 15-20 mins as I was taught to do when I worked there. It's the more the point that when I dropped him off they said that was fine and what they'd do with him then they just didn't bother

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rainbowinthesky · 20/07/2011 16:14

I would be amazed that they would be willing to take him to the toilet that often with that staff ratio.

RitaMorgan · 20/07/2011 16:17

Taking him to the toilet every 15 minutes sounds a bit impractical. You should train him at home (maybe over a long weekend?) and send him to nursery once he has an idea of what he's doing.

AMumInScotland · 20/07/2011 16:19

I don't think taking a child to the toilet every 15 minutes all through the day can be very practical in a nursery setting - surely that would tie up a member of staff all day just doing that?

I think you need to talk to them again and find out if they are ok with it or not - it's certainly not fair of them to say in the morning that they will do it, then change their minds during the day. But did you really explain what you wanted and give them time to think through the implications? It sounds like they've realsied after you'd gone how impractical it would be.

Original poster

Lexiejack · 20/07/2011 16:26

It's standard policy when toilet training them and the ratio is only in place during group times. There's always one spare staff member during free play to do nappies/ toileting etc

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cory · 20/07/2011 17:23

They may be able to cope with one child- but what if 5 other mums decide to potty train at the same time: 6 children taken to the potty every 15 minutes sounds very labour intensive and pretty chaotic.

skybluepearl · 20/07/2011 23:16

it's very unlikely 6 children in the same room are being potty trained at any one time. i think expecting him to be taken every half hour is about right though. if he doesn't catch on quickly, I'd leave it another few months. would insist theat the nursery stcuk with what ever you suggeted - nappies/pants/pull ups.

pozzled · 20/07/2011 23:24

Are you potty training him because you feel he is ready for it, or because you were asked about it at the keyworker meeting? Did you tell the keywrker that you were about to start?

I agree that taking him every 15 minutes sounds a lot of work for nursery staff, but if they couldn't do it they should have said when you dropped him off. The thing about watching the carpets sounds like a bad excuse, a nursery that has 2-3 year-olds has to expect a lot of accidents.

seeker · 20/07/2011 23:27

Being taken to the loo every 15 minutes on the offchance isn't toilet training. Put him back in nappies til he's ready.

BoysRusxxx · 20/07/2011 23:36

Lexijacck I dont think you are being unreasonable at all. Id be very annoyed they put him in a pull up. I used to work in a playschool and had 6 toddlers in my class. When one of them was starting training, I mentioned it to the other 5 kids parents and those who wanted training done, started. I was training 5 at one time and every 20mins or so we would all head to the toilet, 5 of them would wait in line and i would take them one by one to toilet!!

It is a nursery, Surely they have trained loads of children before???

Ds1 is 2.7 and he is trained. He was showing signs so i tried him and he is doing great :)

BoysRusxxx · 20/07/2011 23:38

Also, why in gods name do they have carpet ni a nursery?!!!

Original poster

Lexiejack · 21/07/2011 07:16

They have 2 carpeted areas for role play/home corner and one for story time. DS was very withdrawn yesterday and said he'd been told off when he pooed in his pants! not overly sure what to do now

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MugglesandLuna · 21/07/2011 07:24

There's always one spare staff member during free play to do nappies/ toileting etc

But thats for 26 children, not just your 1. YABU to expect them to have the time to take him to the toilet every 15 minutes if he cant even tell when he needs the toilet. He obviously isnt ready.

Allyinoz · 21/07/2011 07:36

This has happened to me and I was a bit annoyed after all my work, however we got there in the end. Also I can understand that for nursery staff it is hard work, it was hard work training just one.

When you have been toileting training him what is the actual length of time that he needs to go, e.g. when you him leave him in pants how often does he wet. Then you will have the average length of time you need to take him, I have found with most children around 1.5 hours is adequate.

It is also very hard for individual children to ask to go and may leave it too long. Has he had any consistent periods of time away from nursery where he has been consistently dry? If you have any holidays coming up use them to work towards consistently weeing in the toilet, then you can use this to tell the nursery how he can manage.

A bit of give and take?

MsGee · 21/07/2011 08:42

I would have a go at toilet training at home before you have a go at nursery - it seems a bit of a knee jerk reaction to their comment on Monday? Has he shown interest in the potty, have you prepared the ground at all, getting him to occasionally sit on etc. 2.5 sounds very young for potty training unless he is really showing an interest.

That said, once you start toilet training you never go back to nappies. DD nursery did exactly what yours did (after a long weekend of potty training at home) because they couldn't be bothered to search her bag for clean clothes. I absolutely hit the roof and put in a complaint - the manager was horrified and said that anyone working in childcare knows that you just don't go back to putting a child in nappies and they should have contacted me first to discuss things.

Its a bit odd that they are more concerned about their carpets though ... surely in a nursery accidents happen all the time. Expecting them to try every 15 mins is overkill though and impractical.

thederkinsdame · 21/07/2011 08:46

If you are lifting your DS every 15 mins then he is not ready to be toilet trained.

Original poster

Lexiejack · 21/07/2011 09:07

Think it bugs me more that MIL is manager and she's been going on at me about how he says he needs to go then gets scared of the actual doing it! Think I'll leave it a bit longer

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GwendolineMaryLacey · 21/07/2011 09:11

It was nursery that started bugging me to get dd out of nappies when she was just over 2. I was more of the approach that earlier training = hassle and later training = instant success so I wasn't keen to start then. I waited till she was 2.10 and she was straight into pants with no accidents. They weren't that thrilled though so obviously some nurseries are set up for it.

yellowsubmarine41 · 21/07/2011 09:15

Put him back in nappies as he's clearly not ready to go into pants at the moment (my dd was nearly 3 when she was and girls are supposed to be 'quicker').

Speak with the nursery about their potty training policy and strategies. I would suspect that telling kids of isn't a recommended strategy.

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