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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

9mo isn't bothered about being left at nursery

15 replies

JazzieJeff · 18/07/2011 10:07

I know, I should be grateful. But because he's just such a placid little soul I sometimes worry that he's a bit too placid.

He does get upset if I put him down and leave the room at home. But when we drop him off at nursery, he's full of smiles and whacks his key worker across the face (that means he likes you). He doesn't seem bothered in the least. He does smile at me when I pick him up, and I don't wish upset on him (of course) but sometimes I worry he likes them more than me

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MovingAndScared · 18/07/2011 10:20

my boys were never really bothered whe I left them at the childminders - sure its mainly just down to personality - sounds like he is a happy little boy and he has made a good bond with his key worker which is also a good sign about the nursery
I am sure he doesn't like them more than you -although I did sometimes think this too - its just he likes having fun with more than one person!!

Original poster

JazzieJeff · 18/07/2011 10:22

Thanks for the fast reply!

I don't know, I was so worried he wouldn't be happy there and now that he is, I'm all hurt and huffy! I think the thing was that I had a bit of a day of it yesterday with his teeth, he absolutely screamed at bedtime and this morning he woke up in a right grump with me, wouldn't smile, had a good old shout when DH dressed him... As soon as we dropped him off at nursery, he was all smiles again. It just feels like he saves up his teeth especially for us at the weekend sometimes!

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notyummy · 18/07/2011 10:25

DD was exactly like this. Was in nursery 4 days a week form 6 months old and was always DELIGHTED to arrive there in the morning and squirming with excitment and giggles when handed over to her key worker. Never once arrived to pick her up to find her looking anything other than happy. What we didn't have, which my friend did, was distraught tears when leaving the nursery because her DS wanted to stay there - that would be a bit of a kick in the teeth!

Just feel relieved that your DS is relaxed and that the nursery staff are obviously getting it right. We were so pleased with DDs nursery when she was little and the staff were lovely.

CMOTdibbler · 18/07/2011 10:33

My ds always loved going to nursery, and was more generally concerned with not going home at the end of the day (although very glad to see us)

I also think they are generally happier in the morning,so save grumpy time for you in the evening

Original poster

JazzieJeff · 18/07/2011 10:48

I think that's probably it. He's tired in the evenings, so when I or DH pick him up, it really is pot luck as to what mood he's in. I feel like sometimes we're getting all the bad moods and I'm feeling jealous of the nursery staff.

Fuck me, I need to get a grip!

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ThePippy · 18/07/2011 10:56

Jazzie it is perfectly normal to feel jealous. My DD was in nursery full time from 8 months (for financial reasons) and like you I felt like I just got the difficult bits of her day when she was over tired and grumpy. In the early months I remember her falling asleep in the car on the way home and often I would just drive around and let her sleep to avoid the screaming we would have at bathtime otherwise. I can tell you though that it does get better and soon you will really appreciate the fact that your son likes being left at nursery, and he will still be a cheerful little soul when he comes back in the evening. My DD is now 23 months and she is very chatty about her day at nursery and I love my time with her everyday after nursery now.

musicmaiden · 18/07/2011 12:01

Another one whose DS seems to love nursery (and they love him, they always go on about how smiley and happy he is). I must admit it came as a relief to me as it meant I never have to worry about him while he's there.

I honestly think they play up more with you because they feel totally secure that you love them and will look after them whatever. It's like they save it up. Not much consolation when they're being little buggers difficult, but a sign you're doing it all right!

swallowedAfly · 18/07/2011 12:05

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Cosmosis · 18/07/2011 13:09

:) you sound just like me! On the one hand I was thrilled when DS settled really quickly for the CM, on the flip side I was upset as I was worried it meant he didn?t love me! For ages he wasn?t bothered when I dropped him off, but neither was he bothered when I picked him up. Now, he?s excited when I drop him off, but really excited when I collect him, so I am reassured! I was definitely jealous.

cat64 · 18/07/2011 13:15

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matana · 18/07/2011 16:19

Mine's similar, although i don't even get a smile out of him when i pick him up! I got really paranoid/ upset about it a while ago worrying that he wasn't attached to me. Then he got a bout of teething pain and only mummy's cuddles made him feel better.

I've learned he's just an audacious little flirt who generally doesn't care who he flirts with - men, women, children or animals! It's easier to leave him when i know he's happy...

Original poster

JazzieJeff · 18/07/2011 16:47

thanks for all the wise words everyone!

I do feel a bit silly feeling jealous of the nursery girls; I know they have a really hard job, but this morning was just one of those mornings. I'd had a bugger of a day with ds yesterday, he was so grumpy with his teeth. Then this morning he wasnt much better. As soon as we got to nursery though, he was like a different baby... All smiles and excited whacking... Honestly, I wanted to run off sobbing like a hormonal teenager! I don't know who the child is here!

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Ragwort · 18/07/2011 16:53

Oh don't worry at all - I'm another one whose DS cried when I arrived to pick him up the first day at a childminders - and who loved going to playschool/nursery - even walked there on his own once at three . Also always happy to be left at parties, go to sleepovers, camps (even if he knows no one else), school trips etc etc - I like to take the credit for bringing up such a confident and independent child - or maybe he just can't wait to get away from us . He is an only child and I guess he just loves being around other children !

mubbybeck · 18/07/2011 23:06

I work in a nursery. I used to work in the baby room and one of the babies would come in and be happy to see me. I was told I was the first person he'd smile at in the morning! And on a similar note so many children hate going home!! All I say to the parents is it's good for them to know their child is happy there and they agree. I really wouldn't worry. You're son isn't the first and won't be the last to show his liking to staff. Just be happy he's settled there because I'm sure if he cried and was distrught you'd feel upset and want him to be happy. My son goes to my nursery and loves his keyworker and I wouldn't want it any other way. He's not anxious so I'm not anxious and so everyone's happy :)

notyummy · 19/07/2011 07:58

Oh, and DD hasn't changed from when she was a baby and loved nursery! She has been to three different nurseries (because of a house move and then moving to a nursery that fed into the primary she would be going to) and is now finishing reception year at school. Each time she has moved between places I would get tense thinking 'she will be upset - she wont like the move' etc....and every time she has bounced into the new place keen to meet the new people who are looking after her and do new things. I was nearly in tears every time - and she never as much as looked backwards at me

She did go through a stage at around 8 months at home of shrieking when I left the room, so I know she loves me really and she always gets excited when I arrive to pick her up from after school club!

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