what do I do with him?

[bluetortoise]

My 3.5 years old is usually a good boy but I sometimes struggle to discipline him. He has started to hit other kids recently. Today I was absolutely mortified. We were at a soft play and one of the dads came with a small child and my son to tell me that my son was hitting his son. I was devastated and said that he was going to get into trouble. We had only been there for about 10 minutes and we left immediately, told him off and said we were going straight home and I was going to take 10 of his toys away from his bedroom. No reaction from him at all. When we got home we took his toys away and I said that if he hits anyone again his toys are going straight to the bin (I am REALLY dreading if he does it because I will need to carry through...) I am so upset as I am not sure how to deal with this and how to make sure he understands his behaviour is totally unacceptable. I am so scared I am failing him and that I don't know how to make him stop doing this (it is not the first time he has done that). What would you do?

Stop being so hard on yourself firstly. Taking him straight home was just what I would have done. He will understand this very quickly. I would also for a while watch him closely and get in there before he can do anything......you may spot what is causing it.

Like you say, don't make empty threats though.

Chin up chick! x

Thank you so much TTBMP2, it is sometimes so hard not to feel rubbish. I have no idea what triggers this behaviour but thank you very much for the advice to keep a close eye on him. It is something I try to do because I know that he sometimes just gets aggressive with other kids for no apparent reason and I try to spot and stop him doing it. I sometimes wonder if I do it too much and he just takes a bit of advantage when I am not next to him to stop him been naughty. I don't like to do empty threats, if I say I will do it, I follow through... It is just that I put his toys in a black bin bag and among them was his scooter (which I know he loves) but I don't think I should have put it in there but I was angry and didn't 'select' properly which toys to put in the bag, and now I am the one who is dreading putting his scooter in the bin if he does it again, grrrrrrr...

How is he at nursery school? I feel for you, DS went thought a terrible stage just like this when I had his new brother. I would be breastfeeding whilst trying to stop him hitting etc it was hell!! I agree about being too visable and hovering.....hard one. I have found nursery and time have really helped.....oh and

I loved the glass with the 'red juice', made me laugh (reminds herself that the G&T is waiting for her :-) He is a lovely boy at nursery (he is on holiday now), so the staff say and I never heard anything from them about his behaviour. At the nursery playground it is a different story and he can be quite stubborn and difficult to deal with. I am just finding some of his behaviour a bit challenging to deal with and can't help but feeling like I really want to find a way to deal with it and make him realise it is wrong to hit... oh the joys...