I need some perspective on this

[gapants]

My DS is 2.5, and he is a lovely little boy. However every now and again- I need to start mapping this to see if there is a pattern, he gets quite aggressive. Today at the CM, he hit, pulled hair, bit. Tonight at dinner time her threw food about, spat it out of his mouth. He had a total melt down about having a bath. Pretty shitty day all in all. I know he is a toddler and I know we all have our off days, but he seems to have have these off day spikes.

He can usually share, turn take a bit, goes for long periods of time- weeks- where there is no violence. i am trying to see if there is a pattern.

CM has recently taken on one new assistant who is lovely and my DS likes fine. CM has also has taken on a couple more 9-12m old children. Some days my DS is the oldest boy there, other times he is with 2 babies, and 2 older pre-schoolers. My CM is great, they do lots of stimulating active things. She said that is might be that he is growing and having hormonal testosterone surges which in turn makes him more aggressive for short periods of time. Could this be it?

CM and I confer on how to discipline and we are consistent at home and at her house. Time outs, toys taken away, apologies.

He watches very little TV, east well, sleeps well, is a good speaker, good fine and gross motor skills. He has has a clear result on a hearing test. We read to him, play with him, garden all sorts. He does not lack for attention or love.

I am 6m pregnant and I am sure he knows life is about to change.

It made me cry tonight and I am just fed up with it. Anyone shed some light?

Sounds like a typical toddler to me. My son is a few months younger than yours but he'll go days without a single tantrum or anything and then have several bad days in a row.

It's just the way they are.

This is why it's called the terrible twos. It will pass. Eventually.

Thanks, I know he is ordinary little boy, but it is so hard to hear how awful he has been to other children. he knows that it is unkind, he knows that it poor behaviour. He is quite smart I think and can make the connection between his negative behaviour, his little mate crying, and him being at fault. He says things like "I hurt Max, he sad, I sad now. I say sorry." Then he does and gives them a kiss.

DD will have occasional runs of days being difficult, very unlike herself. Inevitably it ends with some kind of obvious symptom that she's been coming down with a low-grade bug (bit of a dodgy tummy/runny nose etc) - not enough to slow her down or give a temp but obviously enough to make her short-tempered and tired. I ALWAYS spend those days being frustrated and angry until I realise she's been feeling a bit shit... never seem to remember while it's happening! :(
Could it be the same with your DS?

He bit the CM today, so I went and got him, put him in bed and confiscated a new puzzle thing. After that we had a nice day, but I really enforced a zero tolerance policy on naughty behaviour. We came in form the garden after he threw dirt on the grass twice after a warning. Then he ate his dinner all up, had a nice bath/story time. Feel a bit more positive today.

I think at this age, they like to experiment with the effect their actions have on others- the most immediate and predictable reaction they can invoke in others is one of pain/upset/anger when hit or bitten etc.

It is him exploring the impact he has on the world around him- not pleasant, but normal and usually short lived.

This was the worst age for my DS and is gearing up to be the worst age for my DD too- just I've been there, seen it before this time round . He sounds really normal and although this behaviour is soul destroying at times it's part of being 2.