not listening kids

[slowlygoinginsane]

please help.. i have two boys only 10 half months apart one is 3 half, the other is 4 half, & i dont know if the behaviour is normal for there age... they are extremley hands on with each other that going anywhere with the two of them is completly out the question unless its a soft play or park the countinue to play fight very roughly but when i seperate them they then cry for each other, they pick & choose when they listen to mesometimes saying well my brother said i could, its starting to get me down that my eldest ds can be quite full on with needing so much attention that the younger one copies negative stuff that he sees his brother do.. then im caught with how to disipline consistently when if one does something by accident the other copies to be the same... i try & ignore all negative behavior, but what i find is when im unable to keep giving them 200% attention, they then immeadietly go into negative behaviour which they know is going to get my attention... please can someone give me some identification or advice that this is in some waynormal for 2 feisty boys

hi, i have three boys and have come to the conclusion that they are very diff from girls!!! think your two sound perfectly normal to me...of course every family is diff and you have to find what works for you but i find that on days when they are not at school it is a complete nightmare if we stay indoors all day. they will just end up fighting and somehow it is all my fault (who would have thought that playing with wooden swords would end in tears!) so i try to give them a big breakfast - empty tummies seam to make everything worse and take them all out for a stomp about before trying to sort anything out at home...even if its pouring with rain and we only walk up to the local shop for a pint of milk then it helps. having something planned for when they get back that they can all do together can work well, or end up in full scale war depending on their mood...sometimes, to cut out the lunch mess and to give me a much needed 5 mins peace and a cup of tea i pack them up a very simple picnic of bread cheese aples and a bottle of water and let them take it into the garden by themselves..they love the fact that they are 'grown up' so that works well....theres no doubt it is hard work though...good luck x

Sounds quite normal in my limited experience!

We have a "7 star listener" programme, which is a little book in which I draw DS1 (nearly 4) a star every time he does some good listening (ie I don't have to say something more than once)! Also gets stars for other good behaviour. When he gets 7, he gets a treat (eg a small sweet). Stars never get taken away, and we start each day on yesterday's total, so the idea is that it reinforces good behaviour, and gives an extra leverage.

I wouldn't say it's a runaway success, but it does help.

thanks for the tips, all things that have been suggested have worked well for me one time or another in the past, what i fail to do is remain focused & i end up going under... just have to keep focused & keep plodding... lol :)