6 year old's split personality!

[charlotte123]

I have two children - two boys aged 9 and 6. My 6 year old is an angel at school with perfect behaviour and manners. At home it is a different story! He shows very little respect for me and his father, won't do anything he is asked to do and is damn right rude to us and his brother. We are pulling our hair out over it! He's always been like this and we've always thought it was just a phase but clearly its not. He seems worse when his brother is in the house who is very good natured and basically the opposite to his brother. We love our son dearly but can honestly say at times we don't like him very much. We seem to have tried everything but wondered if anyone out there has any ideas. The teachers at school cannot believe that we are describing the same child at a recent parents evening. Help!!!!!

You need to have clear consqences for his disrespect may be time out or losing out on favourite toy or tv program. Dont listen to him if he wont speak nicely to you ask him to ask in a polite way if he refuses then ignore what he is saying.Always follow through on consquences. He needs to know you are not going to put up with rude behaviour. You could use a reward chart were he earns stickers and when he gets so many he gets a treat. He might be able to earn extra stickers for being helpful. Try and use lots of praise when he is polite. He can behave nicely because he does it at school he is just trying to push the boundries.